Summer's Heart
by MashiarasDream
Summary: Ann is back in her hometown where she never wanted to live again. But since her sister died she struggles to get back to her feet. Just when her life seems broken beyond repair she meets Mark who sells her a Titan. Features Taker mostly.
1. Chapter 1

**Diclaimer: **I own neither Undertaker nor anyone else from the WWE. The idea for the story and the other characters are mine.

Chapter 1: The Four Seasons

It had been half a year since she was gone. Ann felt more tired than ever. Leaving the house even for work was becoming increasingly difficult. She had an arrangement with her boss saying she only needed to work half time as long as she was in mourning. Yet even that seemed too much to take. Or maybe not enough to care. She sat on the front porch steps, her coffee growing cold between her palms while the October sun failed to brighten the day. Sighing she took a small sip and then stood up. Knowing she was doing the wrong thing she picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number: "Hey Julie? Yes, this is Ann. Look, I'm not feeling very well and since it's Tuesday and there won't be much to do anyhow..." She didn't even feel guilty anymore.

Afterwards she didn't quite know what to do. Going shopping for food was a practical idea since her fridge was almost empty, yet she felt not up to it. Going back to bed was tempting, yet she knew the dreams would come back as soon as she hit the pillow. In the end she couldn't decide on anything and just went for a walk.

She followed the trail through the park, turning left out of the gates for her way back, through a small street with even smaller shops. She glanced through the windows not bothering to stop anywhere until she hit a crossroads. While she waited for the lights to change she noticed a new place. A motorcycle place. Unconsciously she walked up to the first row of bikes. A milk-white Titan sparkled in the sun in front of her. Hesitantly she touched the black leather of the seat. It felt smooth and warm, almost like a caress.

"That lady needs a careful hand!" someone very close to her remarked. When her breath hitched the voice continued in the deep slurring bass of a born southerner: "Sorry, didn't want ta scare ya."

She turned around and saw herself in front of a huge chest covered by a plain black shirt. When she looked up she found a huge neck and impressive face to go with the chest. His hair was of a flaming red streaked with icy silver threads. He wore it long and loosely braided. His eyes shone in a deep green that seemed to be telling tales of summer time in the north, up in the woods. She could almost smell the moss and feel the crystal clear cold of a deep lake.

For the longest moment she just looked at him trying to figure out the odd array of seasons he seemed to be made of.

When the silence grew too heavy she noticed she'd been staring at him. But instead of tearing her gaze away she held his for another breath, wondering why she would find anything or anyone on this earth interesting enough to stare. Then she finally looked back at the bike.

"She is a flirt. Easy going but if you ain't careful she'll burn your ass away."

The four seasons guy raised an eyebrow and gave her a wondering look. After a minute's silence he asked: "Want to test her?"

She shook her head no. "My sister's the biker in the family. She had a Titan like that. Blood red though."

"Did she sell it? Haven't ever heard of anyone parting from a lady like that one."

"Well, she did. Part, not sell it. She's dead."

He was silent which she was thankful for. She hated nothing more than well-meant yet empty consolations about her loss.

"You could still test the lady here. I'll drive for the first start if you want."

He waited patiently for her answer while she was thinking. She thought she could make out faint ripples in the deep ponds of his eyes. Like some disturbance far below the waterline struggled to break to the top. Yet the eyes were warm and alert to her reactions.

"Alright", she finally nodded.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: An Autumn Ride

The next moment the impact of what she had said hit her, but the huge guy was already on his way back to the office to grab the keys and two helmets. She sent a mistrustful glance to the sparkling bike. She had told herself a hundred times that it hadn't been the bike's fault. That her sister would have found another way. But it did no good, the bike was still the way her sister had chosen.

Before her sister's life had begun to deteriorate they had been riding together often enough. The rush of speed, the power of the bike roaring beneath her - it had captured her the very first time. The Titan was fast as hell and when they stopped in front of one of the countless bikers' pubs, they had drawn every eye.

This milk-white Titan radiated a different vibe than her blood-red counterpart. When Ann let her hand glide along the polished steel a strong impression of innocence crept up to her heart. She bit her lip to stop that train of thought.

"Here you go."

Shaking slightly she nodded and took the black helmet.

"By the way, my name's Mark."

She shook his hand. The grip was steady but didn't hurt. "Ann."

"Nice ta meet ya." He said it with a ring of truth like it was more than a mere phrase.

She took her place behind him on the bike with the ease of an often done movement. Yet she felt strangely hesitant to circle her arms around his waist. She knew she needed to grab a fast hold but his back was so much broader than her sister's had been. The collision of the fuzzy feeling of familiarity and the slight shifts that altered this reality from the one her mind wanted to build gave her a creepy feeling and her stomach started to revolt. She took a moment to calm her breathing down, before finally holding on to his black shirt.

He touched her hands as if to make sure she was securely tucked against him then he nodded and revved the engine. The Titan sprang to life with a roar. Like a foal she buckled out of joy a few times before finally running smoothly.

Ann closed her eyes, savoring the rush the momentum gave her. Soon her tense muscles began to relax. She kept her tight grip around Mark but shuffled a little so she could turn and watch the streets to her sides. There was no way in hell she could possibly look over Mark's shoulder to see where they were going.

The streets lay empty. This wasn't the best part of town, the houses were gray and crouched down as if waiting for a whipping that was sure to come, no matter how well they behaved. Yet the streets were clean and the few trees bravely reached for the skies.

Mark took a swing onto the highway, finally releasing his tight rein on the Titan. The bike instantly took up speed. Ann felt the thoughts being pushed out of her mind when the air hit her face.

Before she realized they were off the highway and on a quiet road that quickly turned into a dust covered track. Mark slowed down enough to carefully avoid all holes in front of them. Ann could see a farm on the horizon but apart from that the rolling farmlands were deserted. After a while she began to wonder were they were going. She did not recognize any of her surroundings. Most of the fields were already harvested. Every now and then a few dusty green patches of catch crops rushed past. Then finally brushes began to grow thicker. There were meadows and a few trees. They had entered the woodlands. Mark took a turn to the right and after a few hundred yards he stopped and killed the engine.

The following silence was eerie. None of them moved. Then the song of a distant bird broke the quiet, startling them out of their stillness. A little unsteady Ann climbed off the bike. Her legs seemed not to remember how to stand, let alone walk. Still, somehow she managed not to double over. She took her helmet off.

The forest was entirely calm. The trees around them were tall, the sun glinted just barely in. There was a thick layer of old leaves to both sides of the track. Autumn hung heavy in the air.

She looked over to Mark to see he had removed his helmet as well. He was shaking out his hair after undoing his braid. The few sun rays that managed to reach down to the ground captured the flying tresses, lighting them up in a bright copper that matched the coat of leaves around them perfectly. She had been right: he fit in to the woods.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Summer's heart

Unfortunately that didn't answer the question why their trip had ended here instead of back at the shop. She looked at him questioningly. She was dimly aware that she should be afraid. They were who knew how many miles away from the next human settlement and the guy in front of her was huge. His muscles were well developed, his back was clearly not broad from eating too much fast-food. But she had lost her ability to fear the moment the doc in the ER had told her that they had lost the fight for her sister's life. She had been shuddering with the fear of loosing Ally for almost a whole day. In an instance the fear had ceased to be of any good. It had just died with Ally.

When she focused back on Mark he watched her intently. She raised her eye-brows. He seemed a little uncertain. Again she had that feeling as if something was disturbing the clear green of his eyes.

After a minute he said: "I want to show you something. Behind that ridge."

He pointed the direction. She nodded and put her helmet down on the Titan's seat. No one would steal it here.

Slowly they made their way up the hill. When they reached the top Ann stopped dead in her tracks. They looked over a valley that seemed like it had been preserved since the dawn of time. A river gurgled its way through it. Fallen trees were covered with moss, autumn flowers sprung up around them.

"Come!" Mark motioned her to follow and turned sharply right. And sure there was a small path, barely wide enough for him to squeeze through. It lead them straight to the bank of the river. There was a little shadowed beach. Mark sat down on one of the bigger stone blocks that lay here and there, and looked over the water. A sad smile had crept into his eyes.

Ann took a seat on a stone opposite Mark. The seclusion around them was almost complete. Like a green and gold parlor in a palace. Only no palace would hold anything as pure as the water streaming along the side of this parlor.

"Summer's heart."

Ann looked up as Mark's voice cut into her thoughts.

His gaze sought her eyes. The sad smile still lingered. "This place. That is its name."

"Who named it?" Maybe it was an Indian place.

Abruptly Mark turned back to the water hiding his expression from her. "Someone."

She let it pass, holding the silence for a moment. "It fits."

He nodded. Finally turning back to her he said: "I thought you might like it." His deep voice drifted of. "A heart can heal here."

She wasn't sure if the last part had been meant for her, so she kept quiet.

Mark stood up and went to the edge of the river. He kneeled and let his hand drift in the water. After a minute's hesitation he spoke again: "You know, that river, it takes everything with it. If you give it whatever ballast you can't take anymore it'll keep it for you. It'll not loose a drop, just take it to the sea." He paused, then turned halfway around. She could see he was trying to read her face.

Rushing through his uncertainty he added: "See, I know I'm kinda intruding. But seeing that faraway look in your eyes, it just reminded me…" He trailed of, raising his arms a bit, palms up, in a helpless gesture of embarrassment, like he had been caught at some mischief. "I'll give you a few minutes. I'll be back at the bike."

Astounded she watched him go. She was not able to grab a single thought out of the confusion in her mind.

After he had disappeared the open space of the clearing seemed to fold around her, separating her from everything else. Her breathing calmed. It felt secure, not like a cage, rather like a shelter.

She went to the waterline, letting her fingers trail in the shallow stream. Any ballast she didn't want any more. But there was the problem, right, she did want to remember. Forgetting was the worst treachery. The river will not loose a drop, just take it to the sea… Mark's words echoed in her mind. How did he know? Why did he care? She had watched him intently ever since she had noticed the fire and ice of his hair, but she hadn't cared enough to really see him. As in: who he was, what he thought.

Ally would have. Hell, she would probably already be at second base. Chuckling to herself Ann softly repeated the words she had used about the bike earlier: "She's a flirt. Easy going, but if you ain't careful, she'll burn your ass away." That was her sister for you.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Fire and ice

Brushing her hands on the back of her jeans she stood. It was too soon. She couldn't let go yet. But she'd remember this place and come back when she felt ready.

Making her way through the brushes up the hill, she felt the sun warming her skin and for the first time in months she actually welcomed a feeling. When she reached the crest she turned back, looking over the valley for a last time. The sun tickled her skin while the breeze ruffled her hair, like two children inviting her to play. She declined, but with a smile.

Back at the bike Mark was leaning against the Titan, absentmindedly fumbling with the mirrors. As soon as he saw her, he stood straight. His expression was intense behind a half-smile. He was searching her face for some sort of sign how she had taken his trespassing into her personal space. Unconsciously a smile had already begun to spread, so she gave it free, allowing it to become the sign he was waiting for.

When she had closed the distance between them she stood right in front of him. She found his eyes, instantly getting sucked into their depth. She probed for the ripples, wanting to catch a glimpse of his soul. She was sure he knew but he kept his gaze open where she had expected him to hood it. And then she found what she was looking for. It was gone in a blink, yet her legs had already stumbled a step backward without her ever noticing.

She had seen the fire that wanted to erupt, the passion, the rage. And she had seen the ice, the crystal walls that shut in every feeling that was him. Despair pierced her bones yet there was no way to distinguish whether the pain was caused by the heat or the cold.

Then the incredible sadness overwhelmed her.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Here and now

She found herself sitting flat on her back. The horrible pain was gone. Mark was kneeling beside her, his face worried.

"Did I fall?"

He nodded. She tried to get up. "Ouch. My ankle." She rubbed the skin above her shoe trying to figure out if anything was broken. "Sprained, I guess." She muttered softly. How very typical for her.

Mark hadn't come any closer. He seemed careful to avoid touching her. "Think you can stand?" His brows were furrowed.

"In a minute." She concentrated on the pain, willing it to disappear. It didn't but at least it somewhat lessened.

She sighed. "I'll take it."

His expression was blank.

"The bike", she added, " I'll take the bike."

His surprise at the abrupt change of topic showed. After a minute he nodded: "Good choice."

"Two conditions."

He raised his eye-brows yet waited for her to continue. She went on:

"You'll make me a good price and give me fair rates cause I can't pay her at a single blow."

When he nodded she continued with her second condition: "And you'll tell me the story of Summer's Heart."

His face suddenly became stone yet she stared at him defiantly. It had been him who brought her here after all.

He closed his eyes, sitting motionless as if in thinking. Suddenly he nodded: "Alright. I'll tell you. But not here and now. Now I'll bring you home so you can put some ice on that ankle."

With that he stood and held out his hand to help her up. She took it and he easily lifted her up. Once up she tried to put some weight on the foot. It hurt but she would live. Smiling a little half-smile he acknowledged her will to ignore the pain, then offered her an arm, which she took after a moment's consideration, leaning a little into him for the few steps to the bike.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Back home different

The ride back felt shorter and the strangeness faded. Mark drove smoothly and sometime between the morning and now she had gotten used to his broad back. She closed her eyes. The air rushed past her, while the warmth of Mark's body seeped through his jacket. When they were off the highway Mark slowed to a walking pace. "Where do you live?"

"Three blocks past your shop and then left. Right by the park."

"'kay."

He accelerated and sooner than she had thought they were in her street. She pointed to her house and he swung into the driveway.

When they stopped Ann held on for a moment longer. She had actually enjoyed the ride which seemed more confusing than everything else that had happened today.

Finally she let go and climbed of the bike. Instantly the pain hit her. Wincing slightly she put the weight off her ankle. Mark looked at her, amusement lurking in his eyes.

"You gonna make it to the house?"

"Course!" She glared at him.

He shrugged and laughed a little. "Alright. How about I come over with the papers for the bike tomorrow?"

She nodded. "'Bout lunch-time?"

"Sure."

He turned the bike and set off towards his shop.

She watched him leave, then made her way to her entrance. Alternately wincing and cursing she finally reached the door and even the kitchen to take an ice-pack out of the freezer. In the living-room she made herself comfortable on the sofa and put the ice on her ankle.

It had been quite the day, seeing how it started. And she had bought a bike. Or well, almost. She still needed to sign the papers and actually pay the bike.

What Ally would say? She'd love the Titan, that much was sure. But what would she say about today's adventures? About Mark? Ann could think of quite a few things Ally would have had to say about him and with an expression closest to a grin she drifted into sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: A lunch guest

Ann woke well before dawn. What did she do on the couch? She sat up and the now room-temperatured ice-pack fell to the floor. Remembrance dawned. She had slept through the best part of the evening and the whole night without a single dream. She was more awake than she had been for weeks.

With her next breath she remembered something else: She awaited a lunch-guest! Shit!

Even in the dim outlines of night-time she could see the heaps of junk in her living-room. And she didn't even want to think about her kitchen or – oh dear! – the bathroom.

She jumped off the couch and instantly sat back down. Ouch! She had forgotten about her ankle. Her next try was a little more careful and she succeeded to stand and walk to the bathroom. She took a bandage and some ointment out of the drawer. The ankle wasn't swollen too badly but it would be a nice shade of blue for a while. She sighed. She never knew how she managed to live through her childhood seeing how often she twisted and sprained various extremities. She applied the ointment and pulled the bandage tight over her ankle. Alright, that was better.

She quickly washed and then assessed the chaos on the ground-floor. She should better start right now if she wanted a halfwhat presentable home by lunch-time.

She cleaned through the whole morning, taking just two breaks, one to call Julie to say that she would be back tomorrow, the other to go to the supermarket and buy some food and drinks. The clock was just over 11 when she decided that this was as clean as the house would get. She had even scrubbed the upper room floors. Satisfied with herself she stepped into the shower admiring the freshly polished steel of the fittings.

An hour later she had dressed in a tight black jeans and a dark-red button-down shirt. She prepared some salad yet decided to leave the main-course to the Chinese take-away. She hadn't cooked an actual meal for what seemed like eternity and she wasn't in the mood to try her talents on a guest.

When the door-bell rang she just put the bowl she had used to wash the salad neatly cleaned back into the cupboard. She couldn't believe how fast the morning had gone by. She took off her apron, shortly glanced into the mirror in the hallway to check her appearance and answered the door.

He wore blue jeans and another plain black shirt that resembled the one yesterday though the color was less faded. His hair fell over his shoulders openly. He held a file in one hand and a plastic bag in the other.

As if in defense he held the bag out to her: "I didn't know if you already had any lunch or if you wanted to have some, with me, I mean."

He stumbled over the words and it was all she could do not to laugh. She took the bag from him and looked inside: "Chinese!" she exclaimed delighted, "just what I had in mind! Please come in."

He followed her to the kitchen. She had already put some plates and glasses as well as the salad onto the table.

"Sit where you want. Beer?"

"No, not while I'm working. Never drink and drive, ya know."

She nodded somewhat surprised and brought some soft drinks.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: The Heart revealed

"So, did ya change your mind over night or do ya still want the lady?" Mark asked out of the blue.

Lunch had been quiet so far apart from the occasionally comment about the good food. Ann shook her head: "No second thoughts up to now." She pondered the thoughts going through her mind for a moment and then added. "I wanted to thank you for showing me that place. I'll go back there someday. When I'm ready."

"You're welcome." He smiled warmly.

Encouraged by his smile she added: "I didn't have a nightmare tonight and that was the first sound sleep I had in quite a while." She broke off. That was more information then she had wanted to give. He was a stranger after all.

Mark watched her silently yet there seemed to be some uproar going on inside him judging by the way his knuckles whitened as he repeatedly opened and closed his fists.

"Dessert?" she asked to lighten the mood. "I got some ice-cream."

Mark shook his head no: "Some other time, maybe." He stood, walking towards her back door. "You got a nice wilderness out there."

She ruefully observed the pitiful state of her garden. "Yeah, I'm not quite the gardener."

Before she had finished her sentence he had opened the back door and walked out. The midday sun shone brightly, the autumn day was as beautiful as yesterday. She followed him outside.

He inspected her trees: "It wouldn't be so much work, bringing that garden back in shape. The trees are still healthy. This one should bear the best cherries."

"Well, if you ever have time…" She didn't finish the sentence, just closing up to him.

There were a few stone steps separating the upper garden from the lower part where the vegetable patches had been. He sat down, motioning her to sit beside him. He obviously had something on his mind apart from telling her about her trees.

"Yesterday ya wanted to know about the Summer's Heart."

"I still do." She encouraged him with a smile but he looked into space.

"I hadn't visited that place in a long time. But when I saw you, when you said you had lost your sister and I could see the pain in your eyes…It just seemed right."

The sentences had been rehearsed, yet she could still feel the emotion vibrating thick in his voice. And instantly she knew: "The one who named the Summer's Heart, you lost her right?"

He nodded. "Yes I lost her. I…" He broke off.

"Was she your sister?"

He needed a while to find his voice again: "No. My wife."

For a minute Ann was taken aback. That was a surprise. But then, she rationalized, he was older than her, maybe by as much as a decade. Only cause she herself had never been married was no reason for him to have been single all his life.

She thought desperately about something to say that wouldn't sound either hollow or intruding. But Mark relieved her of her pains by going on: "She loved Summer's Heart. She always said she wanted to be buried there. But her family wouldn't let me."

"How did she die?" Ann asked softly.

Mark's tone was different when he answered. The emotion had drained, leaving the voice hollow: "It was a car accident." He took his head in his hands and she thought that he was crying silently. But when he turned towards her with a jerk, his eyes were clear: "I drove."

Suddenly all the pieces of the puzzle clicked into place. The fire and ice. The way he had jailed away all his feelings. She closed her eyes for a moment as she felt the pain washing over her. The agony she knew he must feel.

Then she answered with the only thought that came to her mind: "My sister killed herself. She drove her bike against a tree at sixty miles an hour."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: The bitter sting of guilt

"The only tree on a perfectly straight street. Plus, the farewell letter gave some pretty good clues about this not being you're usual accident."

Ann snorted. "I was so angry. Well, I still am. They fought for her life for 24 hours but she was just a mess of blood and bones. They never knew why she didn't die instantly. And then you'd think, it should have had some reason, like a last farewell or anything, but no, she never came to. We just waited in that ER for 24 hours, for them to tell us she was dead now."

She stopped her ramble. Mark's lifeless voice seemed even more eerie in comparison to her own mixture of rage and despair: "There was a traffic-light. We were arguing again and I didn't notice the lights changing. Then there was this truck from the right. It was so damn fast. I tried to get away in time but it crashed into the side of our car. I lost consciousness. They told me she was dead instantly. I had barely a few scratches."

They sat in silence loosing themselves in their mutual guilt.

Then Ann asked: "What would you tell her if she was here now?"

Mark's reply came fast. He had thought about this before: "That she was right. That I had misplaced the cinema payback-card and she hadn't taken it. And that she was right about me being a selfish bastard. And that despite all the bickering I always loved her."

When Ann didn't reply he said: "You?"

Ann grimaced: "I'd tell her that she's a selfish bitch leaving me like that. I mean, we were close. I loved her so much. How could this happen?"

But of course there was no answer to this question.

"This was her place." Ann looked around the garden. "Guess she was not much of a gardener, either."

The ghost of a smile crossed Mark's face: "You're living in her house? Fuck, you love punishing yourself, don't you?"

"I guess." Ann shrugged. "But then, someone needed to get things in order. And I was the one to do it. I never intended to end up living here. Did you keep that payback card?"

"Yeah."

"See."

Ann could virtually see his thoughts. That it was only fair if he was punished. That he hadn't been punished enough. The same thoughts that crossed her mind every so often. A mistake of a second, a mistake of a life-time – what weighed heavier?

The rhythmic ringing of her phone shook her out of her thoughts. She looked at Mark.

"Go, get it!"

Sighing she stood and then ran to the house. Her breathing was rushed when she got to the phone: "Yes?"

"Ann?"

"Mom, hey." Oh shit, she should have left the phone ringing.

"Why are you home?"

"Cause I'm sick."

"You'll loose your job, I tell you!"

"Is there a reason you're calling?"

"Yes. I ran out of bottled water. You need to buy some."

"Mom, the tap water is just fine. You don't have…"

"Nonsense. You get cancer if you drink the tap water. Everyone knows that. You have to bring me some bottled water. Tomorrow. You can buy it after work."

"Mom, I..."

"You want me to end up dead, too? Then just go on like that."

Ann took a deep breath, trying to ignore the words. But the guilt stabbed her right through the heart. "Alright", she gave in, "I'll come by tomorrow."

"Just don't forget it. Would be exactly like you, forgetting me…"

"I'll see you, Mom. Bye."

"Wait, you can't…"

But Ann had already hung up.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Keys to something new

When she looked up she saw Mark standing in the doorway. She was glad he couldn't have heard what her mother had said. "Let's go over the papers, ok?"

Mark nodded and took the file. They sat down at the kitchen-table, Mark showing her the papers. Ann didn't haggle about the price. She was sure Mark had made her a fair offer. They discussed the details of the monthly rates and then signed the necessary papers. Mark handed her the keys. "Get her whenever you want. Or I can bring her."

"No, I can drive her home, no problem. It's good practice." She smiled nervously. She hadn't driven a bike in quite a while.

"I'll come with. For psychological safety reasons", Mark stated matter of factly.

Ann nodded thankfully.

After that there was a lengthy silence.

Ann stared at the keys in front of her, yet all she could think of was how often this sad man had made her smile over the last two days. When she tried to observe him out of the corner of her eyes, she found him staring at her with a frown. But she couldn't grab his thoughts. What she did know though was that lunch-break was long over and the last thing she wanted right now was being alone and starting to think about her mother and her damn bottled water.

She debated with herself if keeping quiet was more likely to make him stay than bidding him not to go. She couldn't think of any way to ask him to stay that would not sound desperate.

Suddenly he sighed, relieving her of the necessity to think about the next step.

He stood up: "Well, I'd better go. The shop's waiting."

"Yes." Ann stood as well.

Mark took his part of the papers and Ann brought him to the door.

Mark shook her hand: "I'll see you then. When you come to get the Titan."

"I will come by soonish. Maybe not tomorrow, what with work and having to visit my Mom."

"I'll look forward to seeing you again, whenever it is." Mark smiled and then turned to walk down her front porch.

"Mark!"

He turned.

"I was… I… I am looking forward to seeing you again, too." She fidgeted a little embarrassed. She wasn't used to this.

Mark flashed her a smile and went to his bike.

She watched him until he and his bike disappeared around the corner of the street.

When she went back inside, her freshly cleaned house seemed emptier than ever.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: Bottled water

Just to keep herself busy she washed her clothes, ironing them in the evening. Thoughts came and went, yet she did not allow them to grab a hold. At midnight she fell in her bed feeling deadly tired.

The shore of an ice-cold river bed. They weren't far behind her. She couldn't hear them but she felt them. A prickly mark on her skin making her stomach turn. Disgusted she moved a little faster. She climbed into the freezing water, keeping to the side where overhanging trees gave her some protection but stepping far enough to the middle to avoid any sandy spots where her foot-steps would be seen. The stones were slippery, she couldn't keep up her stride. She struggled against the current. They came closer. She heard the dogs bark in the distance. But safety was close ahead. She had to keep up just a little longer. Renewing her energy she went faster. But her legs were so heavy and the stream so cold. Even redoubling her efforts she slowed down. Closer, ever closer. Tears began to stream down her face, her legs hurt so much. She had to get there, she just had to. Suddenly her right foot stepped into emptiness. She lost her balance and fell. The iciness crushed together above her head. She screamed und screamed.

She woke up shuddering. Her sheets were soaked with sweat. All her limbs hurt as if she had really been running. Sighing she checked the time, 7 am, time to get up anyhow.

After a hot shower she felt better. The dream had been strange, not one of her usual nightmares. She wondered what that place of safety was that she had been running to.

She was still thinking about it when she drove to work. She jobbed in a small gift shop in a mall nearby. Her boss, Mr Parker, was a nice enough guy, calling his three employees, Julie, Jodie and Ann his "Angels", because he said they reminded him of Charlie's Angels. There was not much to do during the week usually. Fridays and Saturdays were pretty busy and the time before holidays, be it Christmas or Valentine's Day.

"Hey, Julie!"

"Ann, hey. How are you?"

"Better, thanks. Missed me much?"

"Course we did! But we managed. Autumn is just not the time for gifts, neither in general nor for this gift shop in particular." Julie sighed.

"Yeah." Ann smiled sympathetic and went to the back to get her apron.

They all had some kind of trouble, the three Angels. They never talked about it but this was a job you took when you needed a rest from your life. Mr Parker knew and was ok with it. He was close to 70 already and had the shop more as a hobby than to make real profit.

Ann started sorting the new stuff in the back and filling up empty shelves. Once she had gotten into the flow, the morning rushed past quickly.

As usual she worked over lunch-time so Julie could go eat without the shop having to close. There weren't many actual customers today, only lurkers. At 2 pm Jodie came to take over from her. They had a deal that Jodie worked the afternoons on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Ann on Mondays and Wednesdays. Fridays and Saturdays they did on rotation, meaning that Ann would have a free Friday tomorrow but would have to work the whole Saturday.

Ann said bye to the girls and went to the supermarket to buy her mother's beloved bottled water. Already she had to bite her lip to keep calm. Visits to her mother's were a very special strain on her nerves. Her mother just really knew where it hurt when she wanted to hit. Ann tried to tell herself that her mother was sick. That she just couldn't take all that had happened. But that didn't make it any easier. Damn it, mothers were supposed to love and help, not to terrorize and disparage their children.

She took four six-packs of water and went to her mother's place. It was not the house she had grown up in, rather a flat in a shabby quarter. Her mother had hated the house ever since the father of her daughters had left her. Ann looked at the big grey apartment house with its many small windows. They stared at her empty eyed. She stared right back, quelling the urge to just turn around and drive home. She somewhat reluctantly opened the car door and stepped out. Walking twice to get the water she climbed the steps to her mother's floor. She rang the bell thrice, their sign that she was no burglar.

She heard the locks click as her mother opened them one after the other. Then the door opened an inch.

"Yes?" Her mother's voice was sharp and suspicious.

"It's me, Mom, who else. I got you four six-packs of water."

Her mother closed the door again to unlock the chain, then she finally let Ann in.

"Where shall I put the water?"

"In the kitchen, under the table."

"Alright."

"Will you stay for coffee?"

"No, Mom, I got no time."

"What does that mean, no time? You're off work. What would you have to do?"

"I got an appointment."

"At the doctor's? Are you sick? Pregnant? I knew it! There's no good in young people, I…"

"No! I'm not pregnant. And I'm not sick."

"What then? You meeting a boy? You having fun while your old mother sits alone here in this dreadful house with dreadful neighbors stealing from her whenever they get a chance? You are such a selfish…"

Ann let the words wash over her. She was exhausted. There was no way to appease her mother when she was like that. So Ann decided to for once go for the truth:

"Mom, I'm not meeting a boy, I'm meeting a man. And not for a date, it's a business appointment. I bought a motorcycle of him, a white Titan."

Her mother's mouth fell open. She looked thunderstruck. Instantly Ann rued her words but it was too late to take them back. So she just waited.

Her mother seemed in shock. Suddenly she snapped out of it: "This was your father's idea, right? Only he could do that to me."

Ann rolled her eyes: "No one is doing anything to you. I am buying a bike. And you know pretty well that I don't have any contact to my father."

"No, you're lying! You have been lying to me all along! Leave my house, leave it! Right now!"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: Black Leather

Her mother all but pushed her out of the door. Ann retreated in confusion. What on earth had just happened? She found herself in front of the shut door, the bang still echoing in the hall.

Slowly she walked down the steps. True, she had probably given her mother half a heart-attack when she told her about the Titan. But how had her father gotten into this? She hadn't seen him since her sister's burial. They mutually wanted nothing to do with each other. Ally had been the only one in the family who had occasionally phoned and even visited him. She had also been the one to find him after they hadn't heard of him for a good 15 years. Of course she had been younger than Ann when their parents got divorced. She wasn't plagued by any of the memories Ann had.

Back in the car Ann noticed that her visit here had been much shorter than she had planned. So she could go to Mark's after all. That grounded her thoughts back in the present. Or rather in a more immediate past, which was yesterday. Which was much more pleasant than the way-back-past she shared with her parents. Even though yesterday's topics hadn't been pleasant.

Her heart screamed with his pain as she remembered his lifeless voice telling her about the accident. Instinctively she had wanted to throw her arms around him and cradle him, make things better by her pure physical presence. But then, she hadn't succeeded in making things better for her sister, why would she think she'd be able to give any comfort to a stranger?

Sighing Ann killed the engine. In just two days her life had gone from monotony of endless gray days to a complicated rush. She was almost dreading the new possibilities the future suddenly held for her.

Nonetheless she went straight to her attic searching the boxes she had put there when she moved in and never managed to unpack. She had neatly divided her own stuff from her sister's personal belongings which she had put to the far side of the room. So she was relatively safe from any surprises. Otherwise she would have thought twice about coming up here. The one time she had tried to sort through her sister's stuff and put some of it away had ended with her clutching Mr. Rabbit and an old childhood photograph while lying in bed for the next two days. Bad idea.

She found her helmet in the box which was marked "various III". A simple black helmet. She brushed the dust away with her sleeve. The shining black made her sentimental and nervous at the same time.

'_Go for something flashier, you're too much of a wallflower. Why are you so shy?' _

Ally had of course taken a flaming red helmet.

'_Who cares about the color of my helmet?'_

'_Well, I do.'_

But Ann had taken the black one. And it fit her quite well.

Right beneath the helmet lay her black leather pants she had worn for biking. They were laced up at the sides. Real tight fitting. She took off her jeans and put them on. She had to pull the leather bands a little tighter but then the pants hugged in all the right places. She left them on and went to her bedroom. She found the white top she was looking for. When she looked in the mirror she didn't quite know the person in front of her. A dark-eyed, dark-haired biker-girl.

"You're quite crazy", she told herself, but she enjoyed the warm feeling of the leather against her skin.

Unfortunately the creepy nervous feeling came back as soon as she closed the door behind her. She might look like a biker but her heart still wore loose-fitting blue jeans. Or possibly pajamas.

She walked down her street feeling more uncomfortable with every step. Like everyone in the street turned to stare at her. She turned the helmet in her hands, not quite knowing what to do with it. She went faster, her eyes downcast. Still she felt the stares at her back. She tried to walk without swaying her hips, knowing the leather pants showed every detail. Didn't work. Grinding her teeth she reminded herself that she had liked this. That she had liked to be looked at, to play a little. Never giving anything, just taunting ever so slightly. But that was in a life past, in this life she wore decent clothes and tried not to stand out.

When she was only a block away from Mark's, she knew she had to keep up just that little bit longer. She strained her muscles to be faster still. Half a block. Nervously she glanced to every side. Her legs already hurt from the rapid movement. And then she was there.

She went in between the rows of bikes and let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding. Safe finally. Grateful she took a minute to just stand there and let the air flow in and out of her lungs. Then she looked around for Mark.

He was not there and neither was the Titan. Undecided she walked a few steps towards the office. Then she heard loud clang followed by a tirade of curses coming from the garage. She went over to find Mark on his knees collecting a wide array of screws, screwdrivers, pliers and other tools. Obviously his tool box had taken a nice tumble down the table.

"Can I help?" She leaned against the door-post looking down on him somewhat amused.

Mark stopped in the middle of picking up a hammer, staring at her.

When the silence stretched on too long she became uncomfortable. She couldn't quite see the expression in his eyes, light was too dim in the garage when you came from the sunny outside. "What?" Her tone was more impatient than she had meant it to be.

Slowly Mark stood, still not taking his eyes of her. Finally, he let out a gasp of air. "Wow", he said.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: A deep scarlet

The awe in his voice made her speechless. That was not quite the reaction she had expected. She blushed to a deep scarlet.

Mark approached her, wiping his hands on the seat of his trousers. Strangely she didn't feel intimidated or crowded though his eyes travelled up and down her body. He was not leering, just taking in. When he was two steps away from her he stopped. Taking a last sweep over her body, his eyes came to a hold on her face.

"You do take a man's breath away, I have to say."

Ann smiled nervously. "Thanks for the flowers. But according to my sister and various field studies I have to say that I'm rather the wallflower. Or the frigid bitch. Depending on whom you ask." She tried to take some of the energy that had begun to build up around them out of the air, laughing uneasily.

Remaining serious Mark softly answered: "Then I have to say, that you quite take my breath away."

Ann had been sure there was no way to blush any deeper than she already had, but feeling the heat rising into her cheeks she knew she was proven wrong. Suddenly she felt dizzy. She was sure the world was spinning faster then it should be.

Seeing her wobble slightly Mark was instantly worried: "Are you ok?"

She held out a hand to steady herself against the wall: "Yes, sure."

Again she noticed that though his face was creased in a worried frown he had not extended a hand to steady her. She shook her head ardently to get all strange thoughts out of it.

With that movement she noticed that the bike in the garage was her Titan.

"That's my bike", she stated.

"Yes. I was polishing her up a bit for you. Double-checking that everything is ok."

"Is everything ok?"

"Of course. But I changed the oil and…" He walked over to the bike pointing out the various checks he had done.

Ann tried to listen but now that her eyes were used to the light in the garage she couldn't help but let her eyes roam over Mark.

A bandanna covered his forehead, keeping the hairs that escaped his ponytail out of his face. His jeans were faded and smudged with oil. His shirt had seen its best days long ago, being equally smudged and partly torn. His muscles bulged with every movement of his arms. When he squatted down to show her something she thought she could see a dark pattern on his skin where it showed through a rip in the shirt. A tattoo.

"… and you're not interested in a single thing I'm telling you." She found him looking at her expectantly.

"Umm, I was distracted." That blush was not going to fade any time soon. Like some swooning school girl. Staring was bad enough but getting caught was not tolerable.

She cleared her throat. She was sure she could see amusement in the corners of his eyes.

'Damn, Ann, get a grip', she thought.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Golden sparks

"Distracted, huh?" He came over to her. His attitude was dramatically different from the last few days. He seemed almost playful. It made him much younger. "And by what would you be distracted in my garage?"

"Umm", she jumped to the next excuse she could find, "the prospect of actually driving a bike again makes me nervous."

"You did quite well as a passenger. Got the feeling you enjoyed the ride."

"Yeah, well, didn't have much to do there, just try not to fall off."

"Not falling off is a long way from enjoying a ride."

"Alright, alright", she held her hands up in surrender, "I did enjoy the ride."

He smiled smugly, obviously satisfied with himself.

"Just don't let it go to your head", she mock-warned him.

"Distracted…" He smirked.

She just shook her head, laughing even though the joke was on her expense.

"Look", Mark continued a little more serious, "I gotta finish the check-up. I wasn't really expecting you coming by today otherwise I would have done it in the morning. If you're ok with that, you can go to the office and wait until I'm finished. There's a TV in the backroom." Again he let his eyes sweep over her body: "I'd rather have you stay but I fear you'd not be the only one distracted… And we wouldn't want ta have any malfunctioning brakes due to however nice distractions, would we now?"

He drew out the last sentence in a specially thick accent. She was at a loss for words. So she just nodded abruptly and walked over to the office. She could feel his eyes on her but they had a quite different effect than those unseen eyes on the street. She was sure it showed in every line of her body.

"You're so damn crazy", she quietly scolded herself. But there was no denying it any more. His presence spawned a yearn in her body that she had no control over.

In the backroom of the office she flung herself onto the couch, mentally replaying yesterday's conversations to cool herself down. The way he had talked about his wife made clear he still loved her. So whatever compliments Mark gave her, they weren't really for her. Maybe for her appearance, the black leather pants, but not her.

She closed her eyes, the sense of loss overcoming her, though she would not have been able to say what she had lost. She only knew she'd better not let Mark get too close to her or she would be in for one hell of a heart-ache.

Sighing she opened her eyes again and did what she seemed to do best ever since her sister died: Pushing away all emotions. She concentrated on the room around her.

Though the room was small and scarcely furnished it seemed well inhibited. Piles of books and magazines lay on a table by the window. A stack of clothes was un-ceremonially thrown over the chair in front of it. She tenderly smoothed the uppermost shirt. The books were mostly technical, though the topics varied from bikes to nature. There were a few novels but they seemed less worn than the other books, so either they were newer or hadn't been read as often. She took one and read the summary. A book about a guy coping with the loss of a loved one. No wonder the book was less worn. She wouldn't have read it either. Probably a well-meaning gift.

She abandoned the books. The TV was an anachronistic model with a room antenna. There weren't any videos or DVDs around. The couch was brown cord. A blue and green quilt and two matching pillows lay on it. She sat back down, taking one of the pillows onto her lap. It had a beautiful pattern. A pillow, a woman had bought, she was sure.

Ann lay down on her back, still clutching the pillow. She stared at the ceiling. After her sister's death her doctor had given her some drugs against the pain. The innocent white pills had made her feel floating and empty. Yet she never forgot that the pain was there. She had stopped taking the drugs after a few days. What use were they if she didn't forget about the pain? What she felt now kind of reminded her of that experience. Like her mind had shut down.

Still strange how fast Mark had catapulted her out of the emptiness her life had plunged into. How had she ended there anyhow? Somehow the few people she really had cared about had gotten lost since she had moved back to her home-town. When had she last returned a call? She was sure she had, but her memory of the last months seemed a blur.

"No nice thoughts?"

Mark's voice startled her out of the half slumber she had fallen into.

"Oh god, you gave me a heart attack!" She quickly sat up. "How long have you been here?"

"A few minutes." Mark sat down on the other end of the couch. "Didn't want to disturb but you seemed kinda troubled. Want to share?"

"No!" That came out more forceful than planned. "No", she repeated quieter.

He nodded. "The bike's finished. So if you want to drive now, you can."

He looked at her expectantly.

'Golden sparks', she thought, before she caught herself. His eyes seemed to have some sort of hypnotic pull.

"You really ok?"

"Umm, yeah." Distracted again, she sighed inwardly.

"Still want me to come?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes." She swallowed. "You finished here? Want to go to the pub for dinner?" There went all her resolutions about keeping away from him.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Just a dance

"Sure", he said. "Gotta get dressed decently then, though. My place is just a few blocks away. Gonna drive me there?"

"Course." Her mouth suddenly felt dry.

They went out and Mark closed the office behind them. Putting on her helmet she mounted the bike. She tried to make herself familiar with it. It was so long ago. Mark mounted behind her. For a second she held her breath. But when he wrapped his arms around her he radiated so much confidence that she got calmer.

She revved the engine. A little unsure she accelerated. The Titan followed her lead soft as a lamb. When she swung into the street she already felt a bit more comfortable. Mark piloted her by pointing the way from the back.

They stopped in front of a small wooden house. It seemed pretty run down.

"I didn't have much time to get it back into shape." Mark's rueful expression was much like her own when she looked at her garden.

"It does have potential. A certain picturesque charm." Ann tried to cheer him up.

Mark chuckled: "Nice try. I'll be back in a minute."

His long legs just ate away the ground as he walked up the entrance way. Watching his loose legged stride Ann waited motionless. Boy, was she in trouble.

When he emerged again he wore tight-fitting black pants and a light leather jacket over one of his usual black t-shirts. His hair was carefully braided. He looked gorgeous.

Smiling slightly he put his helmet back on and mounted behind her. Without saying a word she revved the engine again. It felt almost natural already. This was much easier than she had feared.

She knew exactly which pub she wanted to go to tonight. It was Irish, usually crowded but the food was great and the Guinness cold. Though since she was driving the Titan tonight, she would stick with Cider.

Mark seemed to enjoy the ride, leaning in close to her, inspiring more confidence than he could possibly know. He never asked where they were going.

Ten minutes later they were there. "Do you know this place?" Ann asked him.

"The Fat Lady", Mark read. "No, never been here before."

"It's Irish", she stated the obvious.

He didn't answer but when she started to go towards the pub he quickly stepped up to her. Lacing his fingers through hers, he took the lead.

The shock that travelled up from her hand needed a moment to reach Ann's brain. They were already at the door before it really registered.

Once inside Mark looked around for a free space. It was crowded as usual but Mark had a good view being tall as he was. A minute later he tugged at her hand to show her he had found a free table. Friendly but determined he worked his way through the crowd.

When they reached the table Mark let go of her hand a little hesitantly. Loosing his touch Ann's brain finally started to work again. Which meant it screamed: 'Trouble!' at full blast. With a capital 'T'.

The waitress came to take their orders. She took fish and chips and Cider, Mark went with the same food but Guinness. After the waitress was gone, they sat in silence. Ann looked around. The whole place seemed filled with couples. They were talking, laughing, kissing. There was Irish music playing. Some folks were dancing, a few trying at the traditional steps but most just moving to the rhythm.

Suddenly she felt a tap on her hand. When she looked over to Mark he had stood up, extending his hand. He pointed to the dance area. She shook her head no but he kept holding out his hand to her. She gave in and let herself be pulled from her seat.

Just when they reached the dance area a slow song started. The warning voice inside her head started to screech but she suppressed it.

Looking up into Mark's eyes she closed in to him. Ever so softly he laid his hands on her hips. She put her hands near his shoulders. This was as high as she could comfortably reach. His neck was just too far away to lay her hands around it without leaning into him too closely. Trying that was no possibility the remaining shreds of common sense would allow.

They swayed softly to the music. The ballad was typically Irish, inducing a non defined longing – for the sea, for love, for the wide landscape and soft rolling hills of Ireland.

Her defences melting away she couldn't withstand leaning her head against Mark's chest any longer. Closing her eyes she let the music wash over her. She felt completely present for the first time in a long while. This was where she wanted to be. She could feel his heartbeat beneath her palm. She had expected it to be slow and steady but instead it was rapid. He pulled her in closer.

The sadness and longing of the ballad reflected her state of mind to such an extent that she felt like breaking into tears. Tears that would be equally full of joy and of grieve.

When the song ended he didn't let go of her. She increased the pressure of her hands onto his chest until he gave her enough room to look up to him. She could drown in these eyes. And she knew she would drown. Yes, he was affected by her. She could tell that. But what he needed was the physical touch, which was the one comfort the ice barriers in him would allow. She wished she would be able to give it. But she was falling in love seriously. And she knew if she let this go too far, she would be left behind crippled and heart-broken. There was no use in pretending otherwise.

She tried to transport all that through her eyes. She wasn't sure she had managed though, cause when he slowly let go of her, standing there with hanging arms, she despite his impressive size got the feeling she had whipped a puppy.

She smiled uncertainly and started to retreat to their table. He made no move to take her hand.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: The silence

They ate in silence. The fish and chips were usually good here but today eating was like chewing straw. She glanced up at Mark every now and then but he refused to look at her. She didn't feel hungry any more so she left most of her food on the plate. They should never have come here in the first place.

He looked so solid and calm on the outside but again she noticed how he opened and closed his fists. Knuckles slowly whitening until he released the pressure again. She watched it with a worry. Somehow he tried to contain whatever fire wanted to break out. Seeing how mixed and tangled the heap of emotions in him was, the eruption would be quite lethal.

Still, she couldn't see of any other way these barriers could possibly be broken. An explosion. And her Psych 101 knowledge told her it might be better not to be the spark. She searched his face for any clues what he was thinking but his expression was blank. His eyes stared right through the table diagonally behind them.

Giving up she looked back down on her plate. After a while the waitress came over to take the plates away and they instantly paid. Mark seemed lost in a world of his own. Only when they were back out in the fresh air did he look slightly more animated but he kept his silence.

Ann mounted the bike. Already the Titan felt like it was a part of her life. It had been a good choice. When Mark mounted behind her she could feel him hesitate before he wrapped his arms around her. He didn't hold on as tightly as before. Still she savoured the touch. He had sold her a bike and tonight she took the bike home. End of the story. Meaning, this would be the last time he touched her.

She drove carefully, maybe extra carefully and slower than she would have. But it wasn't far to Mark's place, she couldn't drag out the way too long.

Once she killed the engine the same eerie silence followed that had engulfed them in the woods. Only this time Mark almost instantly took his arms away from her body. Then he just sat behind her for a few heartbeats. Finally he dismounted.

She took of her helmet, but stayed seated. Her heart ached at losing his touch. Her body wanted to throw all caution away and just follow him inside. She fought against it.

Mark stood at the foot of the entrance way. He looked equally unsure of what to do. The silence between them had stretched for so long that there seemed to be no way to break it.

Finally Mark cleared his throat: "If there are any problems with the Titan, call me."

Ann wasn't sure about her voice so she just nodded.

Mark lingered for another moment, than said softly as if to himself: "Alright". He turned on his heels and started towards his house.

As he climbed the last step in front of the door Ann found her voice back. "Mark!" she called.

He stopped, turning halfway towards her without really looking at her.

"Thank you. For everything."

He nodded, then resumed his path.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: An unexpected guest

When Ann finally was home and tugged away in her bed she was devastated. There was no reason for feeling as bad as she did. Nothing had happened. Which was exactly how she had wanted it. Yet her heart had a pretty different idea about her life than her mind and right now the two just tore her apart.

She opened the top drawer of the chest beside her bed taking out the bottle with the sleeping pills. She usually hated taking those but tonight there was no other way to get any sleep. Plus they lowered the danger of dreams considerably.

In the morning she slept in. It was almost midday when she woke and her head still felt dizzy. She had taken a double dose of the sleeping pills which she only remembered when she saw the bottle beside her. Shit. She rubbed her head. The fluffiness didn't want to go away.

Just then the door-bell rang.

"Go away", she muttered, not sure if she meant the visitor or the dizziness.

She climbed out of bed, steadying herself as the blood rushed out of her brain when she stood. She grabbed the first item of clothing she stumbled upon, which was an oversized sweater.

The door-bell rang again.

"Coming, coming", she shouted.

She put the sweater over her pajamas and hurried down the steps. Why did the postman always have to come when she wasn't wearing any real clothes?

She opened the door in a hurry. The man who had rung the bell was already two steps away. When he heard the door opening he turned. Ann's blood froze.

"Oh, you're there." He came back up the steps.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"It's good to see you again, too." He replied ironically. "Ain't you working?"

"I got the day off. What are you doing here?"

"I've been in town for a while so I thought I'd visit my daughter."

"You have been in town for a while?"

"About a month now."

"Really?" Ann had a sudden suspicion: "You haven't by any chance seen my mother?"

"Not sure. I kind of thought I saw her at the mall. I didn't really want to say hi."

So this was why her mother thought her father would have anything to do with the Titan. "Yeah, you might better not. So what do you want from me?"

"Have a coffee with you?"

"Yeah, right. Like you'd ever come by for having coffee with me." Ann started to get pissed.

"You're just like your mother." His tone was somewhere between offended innocence and insulting.

"Just tell me what you want."

"Alright, if you want it to be like that. I came by to take some of Ally's stuff with me."

"What?" Ann nearly screamed.

"I bet you're not using any of it anyhow."

"That's so not the point."

"Where is the stuff? In the attic?"

"You're not going into my house!"

"Your house? Don't make a fool of yourself! This is Ally's place, it was never your house."

"It is now." Ann put herself into the middle of the door to stop him from entering.

"Come on, don't be silly, let me in." He tried to push past her.

"Get off!"

They struggled, starting to scream at each other.

Then suddenly the pressure decreased and her father went quiet. She needed a minute to notice the new situation. His face had whitened.

The next thing she noticed was a black shirt and flowing red mane, streaked with single threads of silver.

"What the hell is going on?" Mark grumbled.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Meet the family

He held her father at the collar keeping him neatly out of reach. When her father started to say something Mark growled: "I never asked you." He raised one eyebrow and looked at Ann. The menace in his voice didn't diminish when he asked Ann: "Did that guy give you any trouble?"

Ann looked somewhat stunned from her father to Mark to her father and back to Mark. Then she said: "Umm, Mark, meet my father." It was a dumb thing to say but she couldn't think of anything else.

Mark raised his eyebrow a little higher. Then he repeated his question: "Did he give you any trouble?"

When Ann's father opened his mouth, a low growl escaped Mark's throat, and her father quickly shut his mouth again.

Ann thought about it for a moment. Then she said: "Yes, he actually gave me some trouble. But I think we're clear now." She turned to her father. "You can come by my work tomorrow, at the gift shop in the Eastern Mall. It's called 'Charms for Friends'. I'll find you some things to remind you of her. But you'll not come by here again. Understand?"

Her father tried to nod which was not easy with Mark holding him up at the collar.

Ann nodded satisfied: "Alright then." And to Mark: "You can let him go."

Mark glared at her father for another minute before he opened his hand, letting go of him. Her father shot a hateful glance at him and another at Ann, but she saw the fear and confusion mangled in it. He retreated quickly. They watched him until his car was out of sight.

"You got quite the family", Mark shook his head.

"Be glad you don't know my mother", Ann sighed. "Thanks for the saving."

"You're welcome. I'm glad I came by."

He started to retreat but Ann quickly stopped him: "Wait! Want to have some coffee?"

When he didn't answer, she added: "Actually, I could need your help with something."

He thought about it, then walked back to her door. She took a step to the side to let him in but he stopped directly in front of her. He looked at her thoughtfully, cocking his head to the side: "Gotta tell you… Bananas in pajamas? Nice!" And with a grin he stepped past her into the house.

Blushing all the way to her hair Ann looked down at herself. The grey sweater covered her upper body, but from the thigh downwards her "Bananas in pajamas" – pajamas were clearly visible.

She groaned: "Ok, change of plan: You go to the kitchen, make coffee. I go upstairs, dress."

With that she jumped up the steps, faster than she would have thought possible a minute ago.

Up in her bedroom she shook her head. The postman would have been lots less embarrassing.

Frantically she searched for something fitting to wear. Nothing wild as yesterday, something decent. Why was he here anyhow? Had he just passed by incidentally? If so what did it mean he had come to her help? If he had come by on purpose what did that mean? Her mind was on a ramble.

Finally she decided on a dark blue sleeveless shirt with little stars on it and usual blue jeans. Not bothering to comb her curls she bound them in a loose pony-tail. Taking a last look into the mirror she nodded. That would do.

Her pulse rose when she entered the kitchen. Mark busied himself with taking cups out of the cupboard. He had actually managed to get the coffee maker working.

Leaning against the sink she watched Mark fill the cups. He gave her one and for a moment they both stood silently sipping their coffee.

Then Mark said: "So is your father living in town?"

"I have no idea. I haven't seen him since Ally's burial. But my mom has obviously seen him lately."

Mark looked at her questioningly.

"Well, they have been divorced for 20 years now. But when I visited her yesterday she threw me out because she thought it had been my father's idea to buy the Titan."

"She threw you out because of the Titan?"

"Basically yes."

"Sorry for that."

"Not your fault, is it?" Ann managed a smile. "Plus, the Titan and I are already better friends than my mother and I have ever been."

Ann paused. Then she looked directly at Mark: "I gotta ask you a favour."

"So?" Mark's eyes never left hers.

"My father wants some of Ally's stuff. I never managed to sort it through, just stuffed it into boxes in the attic. I can't do that alone. Would you help?"

Was it a meadow in the mountains or a jungle? His eyes sparkled in the midday sun that fell in through the window.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Summer in a box

"If you want me to, I will help." He was surprised at her request, she could tell. Ann knew she had given him no reason to think she would trust him with anything personal. But she did. That trust came so easily was part of her problem.

"Thanks. When do you have to get back to your shop? I'd rather sort through the stuff now, before I loose my momentary braveness again."

Mark shrugged: "I closed the shop at lunch. There were no customers around today anyhow. And if someone wants something, they'll come back."

His tone was light. Maybe he had forgotten about last night. Her emotions were still all in a tangle about that. Ann bit her lip. Better not say anything. "So, it's ok if we go looking right now?"

"Yes."

"Up to the attic it is then."

When they were upstairs Ann squeezed her way through her own stuff to the boxes filled with Ally's personal belongings.

"Why did you tell him you'd give him some of your sister's stuff anyway?"

Ann pulled one of the boxes down from the heap. She stared at it sorrowful. "Well, he is her father after all. And they did get along pretty well. So I guess he has a right to it."

She sighed heavily as she put the box to the ground and opened it. It was full of memories of a life long past. Childhood memories. Dolls and bears, board games and plastic jewellery. Mr Rabbit had been in this box until she took him downstairs. "Maybe some of the board games? But his children should be older than that by now."

"He is married again?"

"Yeah. Three children. Two boys and a girl. But they should be in high-school now." She put Mr Bear Brown out of the box. He would do as a childhood relic for her father. "Probably he wants some practical stuff. Maybe he ran out of money." Ann shrugged. "The more recent stuff is in the boxes further back."

Mark moved the boxes so they had better access to the back ones.

"You think he wants any of the clothes?" Ann asked him. The clothes were kind of the worst. Though they were clean Ally's scent still lingered in them. Ann broke into tears every time she touched them.

"Nah, what would he need the clothes for?"

"True. Don't think his girl wants to wear the clothes of her dead half-sister." Her tone had been too shrill even in her own ears. "Sorry", she said.

Mark shook his head: "What for? Memory is still fresh."

She stopped halfway at opening a box of books: "How long is it since…?"

Though she didn't finish the sentence Mark knew what she wanted to know: "Three years."

"Does it get any easier?"

He thought about that: "Yes. The pain lessens."

"And the guilt?"

"The guilt doesn't." He smiled ruefully.

Suddenly she felt cold. They looked at each other for a moment, silently sharing their grieve. Then Ann started to unpack the new box. There were mostly paperback novels in it, read often. She put a few of the more classic ones beside Mr Bear Brown.

Mark had opened a second box with books. He held out a few books on biking: "Those are pretty good, maybe you want to read them."

She took them from him, leafing through them. She had bought a Titan, so why shouldn't she read these books? But somehow the clump that had formed the moment they started sorting through Ally's things had become a lot bigger just now. Still, she could at least take them down to the living-room. She put them on a second heap beside the things for her father. Just then a single sheet of paper fell out. She picked it up.

"Oh shit", she softly cursed. The tears that had welled up inside her already, started to choke her.

"What?" Mark asked quietly.

She swallowed hard und handed him the paper. It was a picture of her and Ally on the red Titan.

"Where was it taken?" Mark studied the photo with care.

"In front of Carla's Inn", Ann took a deep breath to steady her voice. "It's about thirty miles east of here."

"I know the place."

"For a time we went there once a month at least. That picture was taken in early summer two years ago." Her voice wobbled.

She remembered the day well. It had been the last time they had been at Carla's for a long while. Still, on that photo, time-frozen in red leather on a flame-red bike, the Ally she had known and admired was preserved. Ann quickly rubbed a tear away that had escaped her burning eyes.

"You should frame that picture. It's beautiful and full of life." Mark handed her the picture reverently.

She chuckled through her unshed tears: "Don't Psych 101 me!"

"I wasn't. Ok, maybe a little. But only cause I know."

"Why then…" she broke off.

"What?"

She searched his eyes to gather the courage to say what she wanted to say. A window to the soul, people said. If that was so, then his soul was bright alive behind the walls of ice. "Why didn't you put up a picture of your wife and remember what you had instead of what you lost?

Why did you have to jail yourself away?"

The silence that followed made her itch.

His voice was pressed when he bluntly answered: "Because I killed her."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Butterflies

"It was an accident. You didn't kill her."

"Committing suicide was your sister's own choice. Not your fault."

They glared at each other defiantly though none of them had gotten loud.

Ann gave in first: "Touché. Doesn't make it any better though. Don't you think you have been punished enough?"

Mark didn't answer. Open, close, open, close. Flat hand becoming fist becoming flat hand. She watched it for a minute then she laid her own open palm onto his hand, stilling his movement. He looked down onto their joined hands.

Ann waited. Mentally she prepared herself for the explosion. She had given herself enough rope to hang.

But the explosion never came. Ever so carefully he took her hand, tenderly stroking the base of her thumb.

The shock of the unexpected caress vibrated directly into the knot in her stomach, dissolving it into a hundred butterflies. She closed her eyes. With no way to stop them, the tears she had held back with such an effort started to flow. Sobbing she cupped her hands in front of her face, withdrawing from his touch.

He shuffled closer, circling his arms around her, drawing her into a hug. He ran his hand over her hair lightly, every touch melting her defences a bit further. Every touch making her cry a little harder.

She hid her head in the shallow inclination at the side of his neck, his hair streaming down both her sides, creating a small private space, the air inside it warmed by both their bodies. All her emotions turned to salty ocean water inside that space. She cried forever, and somehow it made her very tired. Tired of crying, tired of fighting. She wanted to lean into him for all eternity.

Mark soothingly rocked her back und forth. Slowly her sobbing subsided, the ocean having been a storage lake after all. He held her quietly until she didn't shake any more. When her breathing had calmed down, he with a feather-light touch kissed her on the hair before releasing her from his embrace. The renewed shock of this new unexpected touch blew her exhaustion away. Her whole body was alert in an instant.

"Better?" His deep bass vibrated in her chest.

She hadn't yet found her voice back, so she just nodded. His hands still lingered on the edge of her back. When he wanted to draw them away she caught them, sliding her palms into his, not wanting to loose the flame his small kiss had kindled in her body. Her mind would be back on a ramble against this soon enough. She sought the ripples in the pools that were his eyes, hoping against hope she was the cause for them. Her own eyes were still stinging from crying.

Tenderly he touched her cheek, brushing away the last remnants of the tears. "Oh Ann, you have no idea … You are doing things to me …" His eyes searched her face, eagerly taking her in. The flame in her became a full grown fire.

"Mark, please…" There is no going back, was what she wanted to say. But he cut her off, leaning forward until his lips brushed hers. Gently, no pressure. Her eyes fluttered close of their own accord. It was a small kiss, lips on lips, no more, but it lingered and when it broke, her lips were swollen.

Ann had some trouble focusing again. Mark's voice was husky, you could hear he was just as affected as her: "You gotta throw me out if this is not what you want, cause I'll be damned if I can help it."


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Head over heels

With that Ann's mind finally caught up to what her body was doing. It replayed what Mark had said on an infinity loop, testing it for all possible explanations.

But before she could come up with anything his lips were on hers again. This time, he probed deeper, softly begging with his tongue for her to let him in. The flames inside her flared higher with every intake of air. Moaning involuntarily she opened her lips. His tongue entered her mouth, tenderly probing, exploring, trying to figure out all her secrets.

The sensation echoed in her whole body. She was wide awake and at the same time floating in a dream.

Yet the kiss had a hesitant quality, very controlled, very gentle, leaving her aching instead of satisfying. Wanting to share the burning that had spread to a roaring wild-fire, she invited him to delve deeper.

With a groan he accepted and the tone of the kiss changed, becoming harder, more demanding. His breathing was as ragged as hers and she could feel the effect their kiss had on him as his body tensed. He leaned into her, shifting her so she came to lie on her back. Circling her arms around his neck she pulled him down on her. Without hurting her, he arranged his weight so that he could go on kissing her while letting one hand wander down her side. Her back, having a will of its own, arched up towards him when his hand found the entrance into her shirt, caressing the soft skin over her ribs.

She let her own tongue wander, using his distraction of exploring her skin to become more demanding herself. Her delving into the hot cavern of his mouth was rewarded with a low moan. Every line of his body was tense with arousal now. The air between them seemed to crackle. She let her hands wander about his upper body. His groans became deeper, more guttural, almost a growl. He had lost part of his firm grip on himself, letting his passion roam, devouring her with his hot mouth.

But the need for oxygen became more pressing every second. Not wanting to break the kiss she delayed the necessary, consciously taking out some of her demand, letting her tongue play a bit, finally retreating. Oxygen probably being an issue on his side as well, he let her retreat, nibbling softly at her lip, once, twice, soothing the little bites instantly, before he broke the kiss completely.

Opening her eyes she saw him lying half on top, half to the side of her, eyes still closed. They both panted. This kiss had gotten further than common sense said it should have. As far as she could tell the same thought was crossing his mind. He was obviously working hard to regain his control. Seeing how high the fire inside herself flared she was right with him on that point.

She tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear, getting a better view of his face. He opened his eyes, looking at her. The eyes were almost black, filled to the brim with his desire. Knowing, he managed a small reassuring smile, telling her that she had nothing to fear from him. Then he let himself fall onto his back beside her, still breathing heavily.

Nothing to fear? Why didn't she believe that? It wasn't what he had meant but she had fallen head over heels. There was no going back. There was every reason to fear.


	22. Chapter 22

**Author's note: **First of all sorry for not updating in a while but there was the hardware break-down on and right now my own internet access gives me some trouble. But as you read this, I must finally have managed to upload the new chapters!

Secondly, I want to thank you for all the kind reviews. I appreciate them a lot! And you should see my little happy dance every time someone puts my story on their favorite list! Oh well, maybe it is better you don't… lol I'm still quite nervous about posting this story (natural lurker, you know) so feedback is greeted with enthusiasm!

Well then, take care and enjoy!

Chapter 22: Twinkle

Ann closed her eyes. She had to move her hand away from Mark's, cause every time she unconsciously twitched and brushed his hand, the tingle in her stomach let her breath hitch. Finally she sat up. Mark had regained his composure, though he looked somewhat dishevelled. Ann self-consciously touched her hair, knowing it would be no better.

When she searched for her hair slide Mark caught her arm. "Leave it open."

She let her arm sink. Her mind tried desperately to kick in, but she couldn't help staring at him. He held her gaze. His eyes had returned to their usual green. Then suddenly he let go of her arm and sat up. "We're not going to finish this today."

For a moment she was confused, then she understood that he meant sorting out stuff for her father. "Umm, no, not if we go on at this speed."

He chuckled, voice still a little raspy, "I liked the speed."

Ann blushed, now that her mind had the upper hand again she felt as uncomfortable as if they just had had a one-night-stand. Still… "Yeah, me too", she whispered so softly he would have to lip-read.

In an instant he was all serious again, "You think you can manage here? Cause I honestly don't think, I will be of much help."

When she nodded in confusion, he jumped to his feet, snatching the photography in the process. "I'm gonna borrow that. Be ready at eight. I'll come by to pick you up."

With that, he bent down, giving her a quick peck on the lips, before turning on his heels and leaping down the stairs, taking two steps at a time.

Ann watched him disappear somewhat dumb-funded. Her brain wasn't really working fast right now. Had he invited her on a date? He had, right? No one-night-stand then. Mr Bear Brown twinkled at her. She gave him a soft push. "Don't get sassy on me now!"


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23: Interlude

Ann got herself started with the sorting again. It wasn't easy. Her mind seemed to drift off whenever her hands or her lips remembered one of Mark's touches, and they had a vivid memory. She looked at the pathetic stack of books, crowned now by Mr Bear Brown. Sighing she let her hand brush over the cover of "Motorcycles' classics". Then she turned to the open boxes.

She didn't sort through all the boxes. She knew where the worst stuff was and left those boxes untouched. Funnily, even though Mark wasn't there, every time the discovery of something once fond tried to choke her, a memory of him – stroking her hair, caressing her skin – calmed her so she could go on.

In the end she had a paper bag full of stuff for her father. Mr Bear Brown looked a bit sadly out of it. "Yeah, you're going to miss Mr Bear White, I know. But you'll find new friends."

Ann brought the bag down to the hall. She wanted nothing but to take a hot bath now, washing off the stale odour of dust and grieve that had gotten tangled in her hair and skin, covering the scent of her earlier arousal.

When she soaked in the water her thoughts began to wander to the evening. Nervousness crept up. She could still feel the heat coursing through her veins, but she was aware of the obstacles again. A dead wife was a pretty big obstacle. Not, that she hadn't had boy-friends. Not, that she hadn't loved them. But marrying someone, that had to be special. And losing your partner the way Mark had… It had to cause havoc in your emotional life. Was that - reparable?

For a moment, she felt desperate. Her emotions were on a roller-coaster ride today, worse than she remembered from her teens. Resolutely she pushed all thoughts about the dead aside. Not tonight. Tonight was neither about guilt, nor about grieve. Tonight was just about tonight.

She should have asked Mark if he would pick her up with a bike or car. And where they were going. Ann stood in front of her wardrobe, undecidedly leafing through her clothes. Skirt or trousers? Nights were cold already, so nothing too skinny. Were they going anywhere posh? Well, best not overdo the fancy. Black. Black was good, you fit in everywhere wearing black. Sexy? Interesting question. But: Control. Control was good. And hadn't she turned him down when all he wanted was to dance cause she was afraid the black leather was all he saw? Definitely not too sexy, then.

In the end she decided on a black button-down shirt, which she knotted at the waist, over a white tank top. Accompanied was that by a short black skirt, opaque pantyhose and the whole ensemble rounded off by tight knee-high boots. It would work almost everyplace, even on a bike, though with some strain to her nerves.

Nerves, that was her cue – she checked the time. Another hour. She needed five minutes to brush her hair shiny. Another ten minutes for light makeup. 45 minutes left. She tidied up her bed-room, folding the clothes she had thrown over the chair and sorting them neatly into the wardrobe. Then she went to the kitchen, which was already clean, and drank a glass of water. Which made her think that maybe she needed to go to the restroom soon, so she better do it now. With 25 minutes to go she sat down in front of the TV. There was nothing to do and the cartoon channel would at least be a welcome distraction.

She had watched Road Runner avoid anvils for all but five minutes when the door bell rang. She nearly jumped out of her skin. Road Runner disappeared when she pushed the off-button.

She instantly knew the shape in front of her door.

"I'm sorry, I'm a little soon", Mark said.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24: Bantering

"No problem at all", Ann smiled.

He wore all black, as usual, but the shirt was button-down country style and the belt buckle caught her eye instantly. It was huge and showed a Harley.

Without thinking Ann exclaimed, "Just that you know: I can't square-dance!"

Mark laughed out loud. "Maybe I'll show you someday. That skirt is made for dancing. Not enough petticoats for true western style, though."

"Ha-ha", Ann said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Mark smiled, leaning towards her, his expression mocking but his tone serious. "You look beautiful."

He grinned when she blushed. "Ah, I already noticed, red is your color!"

He didn't even try to block her half-hearted attempt to hit him, her hand just bounced off his muscles. "A lady with a temper, I like that."

Ann knew her face would be pink by now, but this time she ignored the comment. She wasn't going to win anyhow, at least for now. Payback could be a bitch. That thought let a small evil smile creep up into the corners of her mouth.

Mark was instantly suspicious. "What are you planning?"

"Just what I wanted to ask you! Unless you want to stand in the hall mocking me all night."

"Tempting, but that was not quite what I had in mind. You're ready to go?"

"Sure." Ann took a light jacket from its hook and snatched her keys and purse.

Outside, she was relieved to see that he was here with a pickup truck. "So, where are we going?" she asked while she climbed into the passenger side.

"You'll see", Mark smiled.

He was obviously quite satisfied with himself, though she had no idea why. "Come on, spill!"

But he just ignored the question. "You finished picking out stuff?"

"Yeah."

"I hope your father appreciates what you're doing for him."

"Being an ass doesn't make him any less my father."

"True. You can't decide on your parents."

She smiled ruefully. "What about your parents?"

"They're dead."

He didn't elaborate and she didn't press him. Looking out of the window she tried to figure out where they were going. Out of the city, to the east, she would say. "Where did you say we were going?"

"I never said nothing, darlin'", he chuckled.

"You're quite satisfied with yourself, ain't you?"

"Did you grow up in the city, Ann?"

"Well, if you call this town city."

Mark nodded. "I grew up in the country. And there was this one place every boy wanted to take a girl – take his girl." He glanced over to her.

"And what would that place be", Ann asked dryly, "a hay-stack?"

Mark burst out laughing. "Yeah, that too."

His laughter was catching, so she never got an answer.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25: Wyatt Earp

Mark clearly knew the area, he went never faster than the next bend would allow, but neither slowed down more than he had to. They had been out of town for a while, driving through open lands, the only turnoffs being the long entrance ways to remote farms. But now the landscape changed, the distances between houses got shorter and there were real roads crossing theirs.

Finally they reached what could only be called a one-horse town. It looked like any small town around here. Frozen in time apart from the big stores and fast-food chains. Mark turned right at the end of the main street. Then another turn right into a dusty field path. Maybe a quarter mile away colored lights brightened an open field. Ann didn't make sense of them until they were almost there. Then finally it hit her. "A drive-in cinema!"

Mark grinned madly, like a school-boy having performed a successful stunt. "Yes. Folks put it up themselves on weekends, so it's no official cinema. Nonetheless fun. They are playing 'High Noon' tonight."

Ann was fascinated. She had thought drive-in cinemas to be an urban myth. But this place was already packed with cars. Mark paid their entrance-fee and drove to a good spot. He parked the pickup with the front away from the screen. "Come on!"

They climbed onto the trunk bed and Ann found that he had thought of everything. There were blankets and pillows and even a picnic basket. They created a comfy space and Mark unpacked the basket. There was everything from coke to beer to wine, from fruits to chips and chocolate.

"Didn't know what you wanted so I brought a bit of everything." Mark seemed more pleased with himself every minute.

Ann couldn't really blame him for it. She was amazed and overwhelmed by the atmosphere. The green and red and yellow fairy lights twinkled at her. "This is beautiful!"

There were couples of every age, some could have been her grand-parents, others younger siblings. They were laughing and kissing, some sitting in open convertibles, others on the trunk bed like them. Finally she noticed Mark watching her watch the others. The flower that had begun to blossom ever since she had met him opened its petals a bit further.

"So, wine or beer or something else?" he asked.

She went with the wine, knowing he probably had put it in extra for her. They ate some fruits, talked about what they remembered of the movie and generally laughed a lot, until finally the screen flickered into life and the first notes of the theme music rolled by.

They sat back into the comfortable nest of blankets and pillows, drawing a spare blanket over their legs. Ann wanted to lean back against the cab but Mark caught her and drew her to his side, cushioning her against him. She looked up at him, the heat of the afternoon instantly creeping back into her stomach.

They sat quietly for the first few scenes but then concentrating on the movie became ever more difficult. Somehow Ann's thumb had started stroking the back of Mark's hand. Which was answered by Mark's other hand softly stroking along her back, finding the gap between her shirt and tank top. She huddled against him a little closer. Her hand came to rest upon his thigh in the process. Sometime then she lost track of the plot. The blood picked up speed in her veins. She willed herself to look at the screen. Were the other couples any better? Did anyone come here to actually watch the movie? And since when did she think of Mark and herself as a couple?

"You like?" Mark's deep voice grumbled close to her ear. She jumped. Mark's chuckle was easier to feel than to hear.

She leaned over to him as if in whispering something into his ear, but instead she teasingly brushed her lips against his skin, kissing the soft warm flesh beneath his ear, leading a hot trail down his neck.

When she felt his chuckle had turned into heated attention she brought her mouth back close to his ear, whispering in a husky voice, "I like."

She straightened away from him, grinning, but found herself caught in the deep green of his eyes immediately. Unnoticed by her, her hand had found its way towards Mark's inner thigh. The intensity which had built up between them in an instant seemed to liquefy the air, making it hard to breath.

Mark exhaled deeply, then took her hand firmly into his, thus removing it from his leg. "Better be careful, darlin', or we won't make it to the end of the film."

It was her turn to chuckle, but she knew there was a grain of truth in what he had said.

She laid her head on his shoulder, snuggling into him, and watched the screen. Nevertheless, Wyatt Earp never stood a chance to get her attention back.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26: Fog lifted

When the movie was over people began to shuffle around and pack their stuff. Ann had drowsed away a little and was jerked awake now by the commotion. Grumbling she stretched her numb limbs. Mark watched her with a smile. "Had a good rest?"

"Yes, thanks." She grinned.

„Want to go someplace else then?"

"Home." She smiled apologetically. "I gotta work tomorrow."

He sounded disappointed. "Right, you said that. Your father will come by."

Ann grimaced. She had repressed that episode of today. "Yeah, guess he will do that."

Sighing she set to stowing away their stuff so nothing would get lost while driving.

The night was beautiful, even seen from the car. There was a new moon and the stars twinkled brightly. Whenever they crossed small streams and damp meadows, their surroundings were shrouded in mist but the stars always shone through.

When she saw an intersection close to a river she tucked at Mark's sleeve. "Would you stop for a minute, please?"

He looked surprised but turned into the narrow road. She climbed out of the truck as soon as it came to a hold. The air was so humid it was hard to breath. She felt the cold droplets on her face. Closing her eyes she sucked in the autumn taste.

Without a care for the mud she walked over to the stream. It wasn't ice-cold as it had been in her dream the other night. The dogs that barked far away belonged to a farm and did not hunt her. But she got the feeling she knew where her heart would find the safety she longed for.

"You alright?" Mark had closed up to her. He sounded confused.

"I need this to be real." She had spoken to the river, not his face. They hadn't talked about anything defining what the attraction between them was. She was afraid she would break the spell and not like what she would hear. Still, what had to be said, had to be said. "Us, I need us to be real."

She turned towards him. "I don't know how this happened. I wasn't looking for it. But I've fallen head over heels for you and if there's no chance for something serious you better say it right now."

He stood a few feet away and in the haze she couldn't make out his expression clearly. With every other man she would have bet he was thunderstruck, but with Mark things were different.

His voice was darker than usual when he answered. "But this is serious already, haven't you noticed, darlin'?"

It needed a while until the words registered.

She could feel the warmth in his voice through the damp. "Won't be easy though, what with all the life-baggage we carry."

She walked the short distance up to him, lacing her fingers through his. "We'll take it slow."

When he bent down to kiss her, she softly added, "If we manage."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27: Fathers and daughters

The next day at work she walked around with a wide smile plastered to her face.

After the talk by the river Mark had brought her home. Taking the 'taking it slowly' serious, he had not made any move to come in with her, but they had agreed on Ann coming over to his place after work. All night she had replayed the day in her mind, the smile already uncontrollable, not getting any real sleep, yet she did not feel tired. Julie had made comments about her strange change of mood right away but Ann refused to answer.

Shortly before lunch-break she saw her father coming towards the shop. She sighed. "Julie? I'm going to take my lunch-break early today, alright?"

"No prob'." Julie looked up from the book she was reading behind the counter. For a Saturday business was unusually slow.

Ann went to the back, taking of her apron and picking up the stuff for her father. She was out of the shop before her father had a chance to ever get in.

"Hi", she greeted him somewhat coldly, "I'm on my lunch-break, so if you want we can go to the coffee shop for half an hour."

"Alright."

They walked over and ordered latte and bagels for both of them. When they were seated Ann handed her father the brown paper-bag. "This is the stuff I sorted out for you. There are a few memorabilia from our childhood and some more recent stuff. I didn't know if you wanted something particular."

Mr. Bear Brown looked ever sadder as Ann's father regardlessly pushed him to the side to see what was packed into the bag. Ann sent the bear an encouraging glance.

Her father seemed dissatisfied with the compilation. The only thing that got his attention longer than a second was Ally's watch. Still he nodded and grunted something like thanks when he put the bag aside. "So that horrible Mark-guy, you two together?"

"Yeah." Ann saw no reason to elaborate on this. She didn't like her father's tone at all.

"He some kind of bouncer or what?"

"No."

"He definitely behaved like one. He hitting you?"

"What? I really don't need to listen to that." Ann stood up angrily, her chair scraping over the floor.

Hands up apologetically her father tried to appease her. "Alright, alright, so he doesn't. Good for you. Sit down for God's sake."

Ann shook her head, that man was unbelievable. Rolling her eyes, she sat down. "You were attacking me. He wanted to keep me safe is all."

"I was attacking you? I was just trying to make you see sense."

"Yeah, whatever." What had Ally seen in this man? She didn't get it.

"So, that Mark, what does he do?"

"He owns a shop." Ann crossed her arms over her chest. If this was an interrogation, she wasn't going to give.

"What does he sell?"

"Bikes."

That brought a lengthy silence.

"I bought a Titan", Ann added for good measure.

Her father's voice was dangerous, when he asked her, "Planning on killing yourself anytime soon?"

She looked at him, shocked. "What the hell?"

"Living in your sister's house, working in a crap job well below your abilities, buying the type of bike that Ally…" he broke off for a second, "what the heck am I supposed to think?"

"Maybe you shouldn't think at all. You have no right to come here and tell me you think my life sucks."

"I didn't. I asked you a question." He was agitated now.

"Well, for your information, no! I'm not planning on killing myself. But maybe I'm trying to work through this. To understand."

"What is there to understand? What she did was wrong, no matter how alone she was."

"She was not alone!"

"Yes she was. You were living across the country. And you're mother, oh well, we both know about your mother…"

"So what about you, were you there?"

"The best I could. I have a family to take care of, you know."

"Oh, hello wake-up call! We are your family, too."

"You're grown up. You lead your own lives. Plus you, Ann, never wanted me in your life anyway."

"And whenever you show up, I remember why."

They had been spraying poison but now they both fell silent. There seemed to be nothing else to be said.

After a while her father started anew. He had calmed down and managed a grimace close to a smile. "I haven't seen her often. But still I miss her."

Ann nodded. "Yeah, me too." After a moment's consideration she continued, "You in any kind of trouble? If any of Ally's things can help… She didn't own much of any monetary value, though."

Her father's face closed up. "No!" He noticed he had been too shrill and turned his voice down. "No. I'm alright. I just wanted some things to remember her by."

Ann didn't believe a word yet she didn't ask any further. If things turned real bad he would be back. "Look, I gotta get back to work. How long are you staying in the city?"

"Two more weeks."

"You working on some project?" Her father usually worked on some sort of project.

„Yes, for a software corporation."

"Well, maybe you should try not to walk into my mother again while you're here. She thinks you responsible for me buying the Titan."

"What?"

"Not my fault. I tried to tell her we hate each other as passionately as ever, but she pushed me out of the door before I could say two sentences." Ann shrugged.

Her father shook his head. "That woman is unbelievable!"

Ann caught herself at the last moment before answering him 'so are you'. "Yeah, sometimes she is." She got up. „Well, I really got to go now."

She held her hand out. Awkwardly shaking hands they said their good-byes.

Ann hurried back to the shop. She was late already. That had been the strangest conversation. She noticed with wonder that she had actually found some humanness in him. An indefinable sadness that made her almost like him.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28: An overdue visit

At the end of the day, her thoughts still circled around her family. She took her car west, away from her home, to the outskirts of the town. She hadn't been to the cemetery for almost a week now. Slowly she went through the gates to the grave. It didn't have a stone yet, just a wooden cross. She hadn't brought any flowers so she just kneeled down in the grass.

"Hey, sis'." She knew it was childish, thinking she would be any closer to her sister here than anyplace else. Still she had come to the cemetery every other day for the last months.

"There's such a load of stuff I want to tell you. Well, you probably saw it all, huh? Did you hear Dad today? Say, did you ever hope we were adopted? I don't want to end up as crazed as Mom and Dad…"

She ran her hand over the rough surface of the cross. Her thoughts already drifted into another direction. "Can I ask you something? Did you ever come across Mark's wife where you are? How is she like? Do you like her?"

A knot formed in Ann's stomach. "Ally, I didn't want this to happen. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to love him in a way that will not make his pain worse. Not make him feel guiltier. And I'm afraid."

She collected her thoughts which were a mess on that point. "Not in an 'I fear for my life' – way. More in an 'I fear for him' – way. His control is so tight. What will happen when he looses it?"

Neither the cross, nor the sky or the grass held an answer.

She had seen the abyss in his eyes. For all the kisses he hadn't once been close to letting go of his iron rein on his innermost self. The passion he had shown was just a fraction of all the emotions stored inside him, accumulated over the years since he never gave them a chance to run free. "Love would tear down all the walls he constructed. It needs to. It will be terrible. And what if it is just the tearing down? What if there is no new beginning?"

Tears welled up in Ann and she didn't know if she was mourning the dead or the living. Her hands clutched the grass in front of her. It was still green, though autumn showed, withering the leaves. The earth beneath it was dry, crumbling when she touched it. But the sky above her was blue.

"Do you like the Titan?" she finally asked, her voice slightly choked. "Not flaming red like yours, you old show-off! Milk-white and soft as a lamb. You'd like her. You'd like him as well." She smiled. With a sigh she got up of the ground. „I need you so much. If just to tell me what a dork I am. I'll be back, sis'."

She swept her trousers clean with her hands and went back to her car. Her heart felt a little lighter.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29: Rebekka

When she checked the time she noticed that she was already late. Shit. No time to go home and change. Well then. He would have to make do with what he got.

When she ringed his door-bell she was 20 minutes late. The front porch seemed recently swept. There wasn't a single fallen leaf on it.

Mark opened the door in a rush and was already on his way back inside before he had said hello. "Close the door after you! I'm in the kitchen!"

Her eyes must have deceived her. She did as he had told her and followed him through the cramped hall to the kitchen. It was old, judging by the colors lastly renovated in the Seventies. And her eyes hadn't deceived her. He wore an apron.

And she saw why. He was heaving a huge saucepan out of the oven. There were quite a few used pots and bowls standing around, some filled with various foods, others piled up in a hurry to get space.

"Wow!" She didn't know what else to say.

"I hope you like fish. It's salmon. Saved just in time. But", he looked around the kitchen, "maybe you better wait in the living-room until I'm finished here. No need for you to think about what a mess I've made out of the kitchen. We'll eat in the living-room anyway." He wiped the trickles of sweat off his face with the back of his hand. "The living-room is the door opposite. Not hard to find. Come on, go! Let a man do his work!"

"Can't I help?"

„No. Go!"

„Alright, alright", Ann held her hands up in surrender. A home-cooked dinner. The man was good for surprises!

She went back to the hall. The house was small, there was no upper floor and she didn't think the ground floor held more than three rooms plus the bath-room. She went into the living-room. It was not as crowded as the kitchen and the hall. Obviously Mark had cleaned up. There was a dining table with four chairs, none of them looking alike the others. A closet and some shelves. An armchair and a couch made of rattan, a matching low table and a floor lamp in front of the TV. Plus a few amazingly well-kept plants on the window-sills. The polished planks of the floor glowed warmly and a twin of the quilt in his office lay neatly folded on the couch, radiating comfort.

She went closer to the shelves. Again she was surprised by the quantity of books he possessed. There were more novels here, mostly paperbacks. In front of the books were a few memorabilia. She opened a small silver tin and found some incense inside it.

On the upper shelf was a single framed picture. She took it down. It showed a blonde woman, long hair flying behind her. The picture was taken somewhere on the plains, there were endlessly rolling hills in the background. She looked beautiful, but tough; her muscles were clearly visible beneath the tank top she wore.

Mark chose this moment to bring the plates. He instantly noticed what she held in her hands.

"Is that your wife?" she asked him, keeping her voice smooth.

"Yes", Mark put the plates down and came over to her.

"What's her name?"

"Rebekka."

"She's pretty."

He took the picture out of her hands. Reverently wiping along its frame he put it back onto the shelf. "Actually, it was your idea. You told me to put up a picture of her. So I did."

Mark looked down on Ann with a strange expression. Suddenly he said, "I think I'll borrow your picture a little longer."

He pointed to the window-sill behind the TV and she noticed there was another framed picture – showing her and Ally.

"No, what? Why?" Ann stuttered.

„Because you wouldn't put it up. Now you can come here and watch it whenever you feel like it. I'll take good care of it. Plus, it's a double win for me, I get to see you even when you're not here." He gave her a cocky half-smile. "Come on, the salmon is getting cold."

Ann felt slightly dumbfounded. She couldn't help but look up from her food to the picture of Rebekka and then the picture of herself again and again. The strangest mix of emotions coursed through her veins. To her annoyance jealousy was a prominent part of them. You shouldn't be jealous of a dead woman. Especially not, if he put up your picture, too.

"You can ask, you know. Though I may not answer every question."

She had nearly forgotten that Mark was sitting opposite her. He had watched her all the time.

"The salmon is really good if you actually try to taste what you're eating", he teased.

Ann knew she did it again – blushing seemed to become her new sport. "Umm, sorry. I was just thinking."

"I saw that." Mark continued to eat, but his attention was on her.

"I just – ", she had no idea how to say that, "it's just that someone has to be very special that you marry her. So I wondered how she was like."

Mark chewed his bite carefully as he thought about the question. When he finally answered, his voice was full of respect and an echo of his love shone through. "She was a tough bitch. Hell of a temper. Always in for a fight. And she would easily give you enough rope to hang. But somehow you felt even fighting with her was a privilege. Sometimes I think we never really appreciated what we had. Well, I'm not going to make that mistake again."

His pained smile included her and left a warm and fuzzy feeling that blurred the sharp edge of the knife that stabbed her heart.

But the sting instantly came back when he continued, his voice almost lost now, as if far away. "I cannot know for sure, they never told me, but she thought she was pregnant…"

He met her eyes for a second, for once unable to mask the pain.

"She hadn't told anyone else. I never did, either. It was bad enough on our friends and family as it was. And her family broke of contact with me anyhow." His voice faltered, but his eyes were dry.

It was Ann who was almost crying. Nothing would make that good again. She went over to him and drew him into a hug, a gesture of utter sympathy. He let it happen, neither fighting nor welcoming it. With her standing and him sitting his head reached her shoulders. Silent tears rolled down her cheek. She bit her lips. His muscles were stone and he did not lean into her.

She softly kissed him on top of his head. She whispered, so low that she could barely hear it herself, "I will cry all your tears until you can cry them yourself."


	30. Chapter 30

**Author's Note: **It's been a while, I know. The reason for this is as simple as it is wonderful: Real life love interfered. So updates will stay infrequent I guess, but I promise the story is not dead!

Chapter 30: Physics

She didn't know how long she had stood like that. Finally she let go of him. He stared onto the plate in front of him, unmoving.

"Well, sorry about the salmon. Guess, it's cold now." Ann had no idea how else to take the heaviness out of the air.

Her uncomfortable chatter seemed to snap him out of his trance. He rubbed his face, trying to rid himself of his thoughts. "I don't know why I told you that."

"It's ok. You can tell me." Ann took a step back, not to touch him anymore. She felt like she had intruded where she must not pass. Silently she sat down on her chair, picking at the salmon but not eating any of it.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't", Ann interrupted him. "I'm glad you told me. It means a lot to me." And it did, though it was definitely not the topic for your usual date.

"This was supposed to be a nice evening, I shouldn't have…" he started again.

"Stop it!" Ann had gotten louder than she had intended to. "Look, Mark," she sighed, "I wish to God we were 17 and our biggest trouble getting caught smooching by our parents. But it isn't like that. So we might as well deal with it." She smiled a cocky half-smile at him. "And you know what? I'd rather be here with you than have a hundred dates with 17 year olds…"

"Only a hundred, huh?" He half-heartedly joked.

"For two hundred you got to throw in a dessert." She grinned.

"Well, I'll see what I can do about that."

When he had taken the plates and left towards the kitchen Ann closed her eyes. She laid a hand onto her belly. She could almost feel what it must be like to have a life grow in her. Slowly she went over to the book-shelves, taking Rebekka's picture down again. She grinded her teeth when she imagined what Rebekka's and Mark's child might have been like. Beautiful like Rebekka and wild in its heart like Mark, she would bet.

Carefully she put the picture back and went over to the one showing herself and Ally. She had once asked her Mom if she had wanted kids. Her mother had answered, 'You get married, you get children, that's what women do.' Ann had known then that her mother hadn't wanted them. Not in the way Mark and Rebekka had wanted their child. Still, Ally's death had broken another string in the fragile cord that bound her mother to this plane. Another blow would probably tip her over the edge.

"Not fair," Ann muttered, talking to the Ally in the picture, "why do I always have to clean up your mess?" She smiled sadly and put the frame back.

"I hope you like vanilla." Mark came back holding two bowls filled with ice-cream.

"Everyone likes vanilla!"

"That's why I bought it", he grinned, obviously set on leaving the big issues alone for the time being.

"Come on, let's go outside." Ann snatched her bowl from him and left him standing there.

"Hey!"

"Oh don't be a spoil-sport! I want to see the stars!" Ann jumped through the hall and onto the front-porch. There was no swing or bench, so she sat down on the steps. The air was cool, but the stars above were bright.

When he had settled himself beside her, she pointed up. "Look, there is Cassiopeia. And that's Orion. See his belt? There is lots of stars you can't see here, because of all the light pollution." When she noticed his questioning look, she stopped. "Sorry, I like to lecture sometimes."

"No, that's fine. I remember back when I grew up, the night-sky seemed like diamonds. It's kind of hazier nowadays."

She was pleasantly surprised by his reaction. "Yeah, that's what I meant."

When she had finished her ice-cream, Ann lay back, watching the stars and the occasional plane. It was a cliché but the sheer size of the sky usually calmed her down. They were just two small particles in the whirlwind that was the universe. "I've actually been to college, you know that?" she told him out of no reason.

"Huh?" He turned around to her from where he was sitting.

"Just because I'm working in that gift-shop, doesn't mean I'm dumb. I heard physics. I used to love physics."

She thought she could feel him smile at her 'dumb' comment but he did not take it up. "So did you graduate?"

"Yeah. I was working on my PhD before… you know. Somehow it seemed not important anymore then. So I decided to stay for the time being."

"Can't you take a job as a physicist here?"

She looked at him silently for a minute, then shifted her gaze back to the stars. "And then? What do I tell them when I'm not able to get out of bed in the morning the third day in a row? Send the trainee to the conference? Not such a good idea." She smiled resignedly. "No, I think, I'll wait a while before I consider a real job again."

"I studied sports management."

"Really?"

"Yes. Only for a few semesters, though. College was not my place."

"So are you happy with your shop now?"

"Yes. That shop is a dream of mine. I don't make much money out of it, but it's enough. And I don't have to get up in the morning if I don't feel like it."

"Quite an advantage." She watched him with a smile as he lay down beside her.

He pointed to the sky. "So that's Cassiopeia, yes?"

She shifted her head a little to see at the same angle as he did. "Yes, that W, see?" She painted it with her finger. "Yeah, I see it."

They fell silent. Ann laced her fingers through Mark's.

'You're such a dreamer, Ann.' Ally laughed. 'Talking 'bout the stars and everything. As if your luck waits up there. Reality check, baby, your luck waits down here.'

Ann tore her gaze away from the stars, looking at the man beside her. She followed the outline of his face, dark against the brightly lit windows of the living-room behind him.

"What is it?" He turned towards her, now the silhouette she could see was made of the shining small strands of his hair that withstood gravity and surrounded his face, where the light hit them.

"I'm in love with you." She whispered it so softly that it was blown away by the omnipresent background noise of the town.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31: Staying

He squeezed her hand tightly, obviously he had heard or at least guessed what she had said. She smiled and closed her eyes, letting the night air wash over her. Ann had never been one for the spring. She found much more of a new beginning in the first cool nights after a hot summer. When the first chilly autumn wind made her shiver, she found herself alive.

But today, after a while she found herself really shivering. Mark noticed through their laced hands. "You're freezing. We should go back inside."

Sighing Ann opened her eyes. "Maybe I should go. It's getting late."

Mark sat up, pulling her up beside him. "Well, you can, if you want. But you can stay as well."

She looked at him frowning, shivering forgotten. "Are you sure that's what you want?"

He took his time to answer. "I want you near, that I know."

She thought about this for a minute before making her decision. "In that case, I'm going to stay. But on the couch or something."

She knew it sounded tacky, like a relic from times past, but she had a feeling that if they did things too fast, they would destroy whatever was happening between them.

"Umm, well the couch isn't overly comfortable, but", he paused to watch her, head cocked to the side, measuring his words, "if you trust me, you can have half of the bed."

She swallowed. Trusting him was all well, but not really the issue here. How far did she trust herself? Good intentions of taking things slow were one thing, trying to sleep beside him quite another. "Alright", she nodded. "You wouldn't by any chance have a tooth-brush and some shirt I can sleep in, would you?"

"Well, we'll see about that." He stood up, holding a hand out to draw her up. She took it and hand in hand they went back inside.

He showed her into the bedroom, taking the moment a bit of its spiciness by instantly rummaging through the closet to find a shirt for her. The bedroom was small, furnished obviously for a single person, though the bed was double-size. Ann dared not think about if that bed was new or still the one from his marriage.

"That will do." He threw her a shirt.

She caught it. "Thanks." She unfolded it. It was one of his usual black shirts.

"I'll go look for the tooth-brush."

"Thanks."

When he was out of the room, she sat on the edge of the bed. There were no pictures in the room, no photographs on the sideboard, no paintings on the walls. It made the room seem lonely and un-loved.

He came back. "I put the tooth-brush on the washbowl. Anything else you need?"

"Umm, a pillow and blanket?"

"Sure. That's included in the service here."

She smiled. "A very fine hotel."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Well, then I'll go and brush my teeth, hoping that everything will be ready when I come back", she grinned.

She went through her washing pretty quickly, then stripped, leaving on only her undies, and tried on the tee-shirt. It was huge. At times she forgot how dwarfish she must seem beside him, even though she was a good height for a woman. Well, at least the shirt covered her half-what decently.

When she re-entered the bedroom she was greeted by bare broad shoulders. Mark had stripped as well, wearing nothing but shorts and right now folding his clothes into the wardrobe.


	32. Chapter 32

**Author's Note: **I've been bad. I changed his tattoos. I honestly apologize for it, but there was just no way to describe them all. I'm sure you can imagine them the way you want them!

Chapter 32: Going to sleep

When she had recovered from the initial shock, she saw that she had been right about the tattoo she had noticed back at the garage. A dragon wound its way up the right half of his back, tail slashing at his hips, mouth breathing fire into his neck.

"Amazing!" she exclaimed.

He turned on the spot, not having heard her come in.

"Turn back!" she went closer to him, "I want to get a better view of the dragon."

Shaking his head in amusement he obeyed.

The dragon was intricately worked, the details waking the dragon to life whenever a muscle shifted beneath the skin. She wanted to trace the lines with her fingers but withstood touching him at the last second. Control, Ann, control! "True artwork, like the dragon's alive."

"Glad you like it. Can I turn now?"

"Oh, of course, yes." She felt the inevitable blush coming on.

But he helped her out by pointing to the pillow and blanket he had brought and put on the right side of the bed. "That ok? Or do you need a second pillow or something?"

"No thanks, that's fine." She climbed onto her bed-side, while he went to the bath-room. Snuggling into the blanket she sucked in his smell that clang to the sheets. Musky and male, with a hint of flowers from the washing powder. When he came back she admired what she had forgotten over the dragon earlier – his front. His skin was ivory white, almost shine-through, though the muscles seemed solid enough. Reddish locks covered his chest, which she knew would be soft to touch against the hard muscles beneath them. If he had noticed her lingering gaze he didn't let it show. He climbed into bed beside her, looking down on her. A frown crossed his face for a moment, before his features relaxed. "It's been a long time."

He had spoken very quietly. She answered with a smile, "Since you last brushed your teeth?"

"Since someone was last in a position to ask that."

They smiled at each other and Mark turned off the light. "Good night, Ann."

"Good night, Mark."

Ann knew she wouldn't be sleeping for a while. She listened to his regular breathing. Though her mind was calmer than she had feared, her body was tense. His closeness affected it badly, even though nothing physical had happened between them tonight. Her mind welcomed that, knowing that Mark would need time to work through the tangle of emotions that bound him to the past, but her body protested. It would be so easy, just stretching out one hand, finding his body, finding the soft curls on his chest. But once started she wouldn't be able to turn back. Their bodies would do all the work for them. Bad idea. He needed time. And she would give him that time, give him all the time he needed.

Time. Time was what she needed. They were coming closer. She was not going to make it. She tried to estimate how much further but her mind came up blank. They came closer. The street was straight for as far as she could see. There were no intersections. She accelerated harder, pushing the Titan to the limit. The cross-roads had to be up ahead. Not so far anymore. If she could reach it she stood a chance. The bike was roaring at full speed now. She had to concentrate to keep it on a straight line. A dark point at the horizon. That had to be her intersection. She heaved a sigh of relief. Safety was close. The point grew fast. She wanted to slow down, but nothing happened. She put the brakes on harder. Still nothing. Then she saw that the dark point was no cross-roads, it was a tree. And she was steering directly towards it. She tried to turn the bike to the side, avoiding the frontal crush, but she had no control over the Titan anymore. She was just rushing along screaming and the tree loomed up bigger and bigger. She tried to get the brakes working desperately, tried do anything at all, it was just a matter of seconds now, the tree filled her whole vision…

"Wake up, Ann! Wake up for God's sake!"


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33: Awake

Still screaming she opened her eyes.

"It's only a dream, come on, look at me, just a dream!"

The scream in her lessened as she found a concerned face in front of her. Dying away, it turned into sobs.

"Oh, darlin', just a dream, you're safe, all is good now."

Arms closed around her, drawing her into a hug. Her first instinct was to run, but the sobs kept coming and she didn't have the energy to struggle. Plus, the warmth felt so good. She let herself fall into it, the tree still being more real than the world around her. It had been oddly familiar. Climbing one step at a time she worked her way out of dreamland. She knew that tree, because she had seen it before. In what seemed like a million similar dreams. She had been dreaming. That relieved her somewhat, though the horror was still vivid.

"How late is it?" she asked, rubbing her head.

"Just past four", Mark answered. He sounded worried. "What was wrong?"

"Just a dream." Shaking her head to get rid of the last shreds of the images that she had seen, she finally straightened out of the hug.

"Seemed a little worse than your usual dream."

"Not worse than my usual dreams", she tried to joke.

He was not going for it, continuing serious. "So you tell me you wake up screaming like that every night?"

"Every other maybe." When she saw how the frown on his face increased, she added, "It's not that bad."

"Sounds bad to me."

She sighed. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"You're welcome. Want to share?"

She shook her head, not wanting to relive the pain right now. "I'll tell you in the morning."

He nodded slowly. "So you ok for the moment? Want me to get you some tea or hot milk or whatever?"

She shook her head again. "No, thanks. It'll be ok now."

"Sure?"

She nodded.

He turned off the lights. Sighing she lay back. She felt empty. No way in hell was she going to sleep again tonight.

"Come over here." His voice was soft, a caress in itself.

He had rolled onto his side, making space to cushion her safely against his side.

"Come on."

Ann hesitated a moment, then she moved over, snuggling into his arms.

He held her tight, circling one arm around her waist.

"It's all good now", he whispered, already halfway back to sleep.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34: Morning-time

When she woke from a fresh beam of sun-light that tickled her nose, his arm was still around her, though they didn't lie as close as they had when she had succumbed to her tiredness. He was still fast asleep. Night had smoothed the deep lines that creased his face by day. The braid he had worn when going to bed had opened over night, so his hair flowed freely. The innocence of his sleep mirrored a child's instinctive security.

She couldn't resist. Carefully she stroked his hair, enjoying its silkiness under her fingers.

His eyes fluttered open. He did not seem surprised to find her there. "Morning, darlin'", he muttered softly.

"Morning."

Lazily he shifted his weight a little, giving her a soft kiss on the shoulder. "Slept better now?"

"Yes."

"Good." He snuggled into his pillow, closing his eyes again. Smiling she rolled over, snuggling her head into the comfortable space beneath his chin. He pulled her close, sighing contently. Feeling warm and secure she dosed away again.

When she woke up, the sun was already high. She found herself lying with her head on Mark's chest and him playing softly with the dark curls of her hair. She yawned.

"Mmm", she tilted her head upwards so she could look at his face. The soft hairs on his chest tickled her skin.

"Morning, sleepy-head", he smiled.

"Morning again." She definitely could get used to this. Stretching she rolled onto her back. In the process she noticed the empty walls again. "You should decorate the walls."

He looked around as if noticing the bare walls for the first time. "Well, I haven't spent much time in here yet."

"Yet, huh?" She grinned. "Have you…" She broke of a little embarrassed. It wasn't a good topic for a morning conversation.

"What?" He looked at her questioningly.

She shook her head. "Nah."

"Come on."

When she still stayed silent, he added, "Spill and I'm going to make breakfast."

She laughed. "You want the embarrassing question and the work?"

He nodded. "I like to punish myself, you know."

"Not a good joke."

"Alright, sorry." Still smiling he held up his hands to show his surrender. "So what did you want to ask?"

She took a deep breath. "If you had a girl-friend since…"

He got serious again. "…since Bekk died?" he finished her sentence.

She nodded.

"No."

"Not even…" she could have bitten her tongue off. Think first, talk then. Somehow she never managed.

He raised an eye-brow.

"Nah, it's none of my business."

"You're risking that breakfast of yours by not telling. I really don't like unfinished questions." He looked at her expectantly.

"Unfair!" She tried to wriggle out of it, but couldn't quite find a way. Sighing she finally answered, "Well, you know, the sex without the having the girl-friend?"

When he stayed silent, she looked at him. His face was creased in a deep frown.

"Sorry. As I said it is none of my business." Ann smiled apologetically.

"Why would you ask that?" He sounded harsher than she had expected, the jokes drained out of his voice.

"It just… came to mind." The exasperation in his voice had sent a shiver down her spine. Obviously something was wrong here. She should have left the topic alone. If that was what he wanted they wouldn't have slept beside each other tonight anyway.

He stared into space. Her question had maybe been slightly out of place, but it had surely not been that bad, had it? Taking public opinion, guys were supposed to distinguish between the physical and the emotional part of their private lives.

Yet clouds darkened Mark's eyes to a stormy grey. "Is that what the pub was about?" Subdued anger tinged his words.

Startled she sat upright, instinctively moving a few feet away from him. She remembered the silence after the broken off dance too well. Her gaze flickered towards him. Finding his face closed and his eyes never leaving her face, she turned her own eyes away.

He instantly reacted. "Tell me, is that what you thought I wanted?" He grabbed her arm hard, making her look at him again.

"Let go of me!" she struggled to get her arm free. He never budged, so she resorted to glaring at him.

"Tell me!" he demanded.

"You're hurting me!" She started to get pissed, yanking at her arm again to get out of his grip. How the heck had they gotten into this fight? A low growl escaped her throat, making sure he knew she wasn't going to give.

After staring at her for another long moment he let go of her, holding both hands up to show he wouldn't touch her again. His face never softened though.

She rubbed her arm where he had grabbed her. "Want to know what I was thinking, yes?" Her voice was cold as frost-bite now. What the hell did he think grabbing her like this?

He nodded, eyes tight.

"I wanted to protect me, you bloody moron. I stood no chance against my damn heart falling for you. It would have given you everything you wanted, without no care how I should ever live through the heart-ache." She had worked herself into a near yell, but having confessed that, she had spit out all her fury. She crossed her arms over her chest, already calming down.

Suddenly he looked weary, anger subsided as fast as it had flashed. He chewed his lip before he asked, "Protect yourself from me, huh?"

She nodded.

After a minute's consideration he added, "Then – what changed your mind?"

"Didn't you hear what I said?" She shook her head, almost laughing at his talent to not hear the important parts. "I fell in love with you. I stood no chance." She laid her palm on his hand, anger completely forgotten.

He looked onto their joined hands with much the same expression he had had when she first had taken his hand like this. Was it only the day before yesterday?

When he looked up his eyes were back to their bright green, but his voice still held an odd harshness. "It was never just about getting into your pants. Believe me, it would be a lot easier if it was." As an afterthought he added, "And for your question: No. I didn't."

"I'm sorry." She honestly was. Somehow she had rubbed salt into a wound she hadn't even known was there. Still, she was glad about the answer.

Deliberately trying to take some of the tension out between them, she asked in her best 'make up for it'-voice, "Will it help if I prepare the breakfast?"

He chuckled softly as she looked at him with puppy-eyes. Then he shook his head. "No. I'm not going to let you go into the chaos in the kitchen."

"I can do the dishes, I'm good at doing the dishes."

"No. You wait and get dressed or whatever you want. I go make breakfast."

He started to get out of bed but she caught his arm, drawing him back down. Closing in she sought his eyes. For a second she was sure he was going to retreat but he stayed. The image of the ripples in the deep emerald lakes appeared, stronger than ever before. She smiled warmly, getting his permission, before closing the last distance between them.

The kiss was soft and slow. A promise rather than an eruption of passion. When they finally parted, the last shreds of the storm had passed.

"I trust you, Mark. I trust you with my life." She didn't know where that had come from, but as soon as she said it, she knew it was true.

"Better don't." He tenderly put a lock of her hair behind her ear. A sad smile crossed his lips. "That's a promise I can't keep."

She cupped his cheek with her hand, tracing the stubble of his beard, before she answered, "That doesn't matter. I can't change what I feel." She felt his hurt, but her heart was stubborn, when it had made a decision. She wanted him to know.

"I'm gonna make breakfast." With a shake of his head he pulled away, all but fleeing the room. She looked after him. How had he gotten so deep into her heart so fast?


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35: Breakfast

She got up, collecting her clothes from a chair. When the clatter of dishes showed that the bathroom was free she went to wash. While she showered, fragments of tonight's happenings kept mixing with the morning events. Her memory of the aftermath of her nightmare wasn't overly coherent. She remembered he had held her until she had calmed down. Like a baby she had given herself into his hands. And he had kept her safe. Yet the sudden anger in the morning. She wasn't cowed by his attitude but she hadn't liked it at all. The exasperation of too many fights too often fought had been in his voice. It gave her a feeling that it was merely a harbinger of what was yet to come.

Sighing she changed into her clothes, folded the shirt she had slept in and went back to the bedroom, laying the shirt onto her pillow. She shook out the blankets and folded them neatly. After that she took a second to collect her thoughts and went over to the kitchen.

He had changed into blue-jeans and shirt, but was still barefoot. The kitchen looked considerably cleaner than yesterday though he hadn't had much time to tidy up.

"Hey", she leaned against the doorpost, smiling somewhat shyly.

"Hey." He finished drying a cleaned pan. "Is it alright with you if we have breakfast outside? Sun's high already so it's not cold."

"Sure." She went over to the backdoor. "Can I help?"

"You can tell me what you want for breakfast. Coffee?"

"Sure. And if you got some cereals and milk?"

"No problem. What else?"

"That's good enough for me." His backyard was tiny. The lawn was a shrubbery greyish-green. She took her socks off and went out onto the wooden platform that served as a terrace. He had put a small table outside. There was a bowl with rolls on it, some cheese, some fruits, two coffee cups. As usual he had thought of everything. Very seldom, that streak of consideration in a guy.

He followed her outside carrying the cereals and milk. "Coffee will be ready in a minute."

"Thanks."

"I didn't buy any chairs for the backyard yet, you ok with the blanket?"

He had put one of the blankets they had had with them in the cinema onto the wood.

"That's fine with me." She sat down Indian style.

While she poured the cereals into a bowl, she watched him out of the corner of her eyes. The awkwardness was not really past.

He went back in to bring the coffee. After he had filled their cups he sat down across from her, taking a roll and busying himself with putting cheese on it. When he had eaten the first roll, he started speaking so suddenly, that she spilled her coffee. "Still want to tell me?"

"Shit", she shook the droplets off of her hand. That coffee was definitely hot. "Tell you what?"

He reached out to give her a napkin. "About the dream."

"Thanks." She cleaned the coffee away. Sipping from her cup she let the images of the dream fill her mind again. "It's kind of a recurring dream. It's different every time, but some things stay the same. I'm being followed. Unseen eyes stare at me. Dogs bark. Someone comes closer and I'm running. On foot or on a bike. No matter how hard I run, they are always hunting me down. And just before they get me, I die. Sometimes I drown. Or suffocate in a fire. Mostly I run my bike against a tree. A single tree on a perfectly straight street. It gives me the wiggins." She broke off.

He put his words carefully. "Is that what you think happened to your sister?"

"No", she shook her head. "My sister was hunted by her own demons, alright, but what she did, she did intentionally. Those dreams make me so damn paranoid! There's times I can't walk down a street without feeling like I'm hunted."

"I kinda know what that is like." He paused. "Sorry I scared you this morning." There had to be something tremendously interesting inside his coffee cup.

"I'm not so easily scared off. It's much easier to piss me off." She grinned slightly. But seeing he didn't take up the light tone, she got serious again. "So what was that about?"

He shook his head no.

"Alright", she nodded. There was a definite need for a change of topic. "We have a whole Sunday. So what are we going to do with it?"

"Actually, I had a work-out in mind."

"A work-out? Like at the gym?" That was not a thought that had crossed her mind.

"Sort of. Not at a gym, though. At a friend's. We do that every Sunday that's possible. And", he checked his wrist-watch, "we are actually kind of late."

Without waiting for her reply he drank the last of his coffee in one big gulp and stood up to take the small table with their dishes inside.

"Wait! I can't just come with you. He doesn't know me. Plus, what shall I do there? I'm not really a work-out-gal!"

Grinning at the panic in her voice he replied, "No worries, darlin'. They have quite the nice pool. And I'm sure you'll like Glen and Keira."


	36. Chapter 36

Authors Note: Sorry again for the long delay, sorry again for any mistakes. Still in love in real life (thus delay), still no native speaker (thus mistakes).

Chapter 36: Meet the friends

Shortly afterwards they were ringing the door-bell of a huge house. Ann had wanted to stop at her place to change and fetch her swimming suit but Mark had dismissed the idea saying she looked beautiful as she was and that Keira would lend her a bikini. Seeing they were more than half an hour late already to the time Mark had appointed with his friend, she had not contradicted that.

And now they were there.

The house was far bigger than she had expected. That Glen guy had to be rich.

And he was huge, as she noticed when he opened the door. Blood and bloody ashes, 7 ft giants everywhere. The guy was almost as tall as Mark. Squarer, though. With his hair cut so short it was almost non-existent, he gave a menacing appearance. But the huge smile that split his face betrayed her first impression.

"Hey Mark, good to see you." The guys clapped hands in the fashion only very close mates do. "And you did bring a lady with you! What a pleasant surprise!"

"Glen, this is Ann. Ann, meet my friend Glen."

"Hi", Ann shook Glen's hand.

"You're the lady with the Titan. I heard quite a lot about you already." Glen wiggled his eyebrows.

Ann shot a glance at Mark, who kept his expression blank. She replied, "Well, I can't say the same about you unfortunately."

Glen looked from her to Mark to her again. He grinned widely. "No worries, he said only the best."

He gave Mark a pat on the shoulder which was greeted by a good-humoured grimace. Mark bent over to her, telling her in a stage-whisper, "I should have warned you, he is crazy."

Laughing, Glen strolled back into the house, indicating them to follow, while he called out in his rumbling voice that seemed to echo in the pit of Ann's stomach. "Keira! Mark brought a lady with him! Come and say hi!"

He led them into the living-room. It was all that Ann could do not to stare open-mouthed. The room was furnished in white, the garden-front completely made of glass, making the room seem even bigger than it was.

"Wow", she was stunned.

"You like it?" Glen smiled at her.

"Definitely."

"Something different than Mark's shabby quarters, isn't it? Ouch!" Mark had punched Glen squarely in the ribs. "What was that for?"

"My house is not shabby!"

"No, it has a certain picturesque charm", Ann grinned. She felt strangely comfortable with the way Mark and Glen acted around each other.

Mark rolled his eyes, while Glen burst out laughing.

Keira came in. "Did I miss something?"

"Oh yes you did!" Glen needed a moment to catch his breath from laughing. "Did you know Mark's house had a certain picturesque charm?"

Keira grinned. "I'd say that's the nicest thing I've ever heard anyone say about the place."

She went over to Mark, hugging him warmly.

Ann found Keira a beautiful woman. She was lean and athletic and her long blonde hair fell nearly to her hips. Her big blue eyes were emphasized by a light natural make-up. Ann felt almost intimidated when Keira came over to greet her.

"Hey, I'm Keira. Don't let these two big fools get to you. You know how it is - the bigger here, the smaller there…" grinning she pointed to the places whose size she had compared, sparkling immediate protest by both guys. Smirking she turned halfway towards them, before giving her attention to Ann again. "I can never quite figure out which of the two points they are arguing."

Ann returned the grin and shook Keira's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Ann."


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37: The pool

The guys went to the gym in the basement. Ann followed their bantering with a smile until they were out of earshot. Keira showed her to the pool and lent her one of her bikinis. The pool was indoors, in what seemed a wing of the house that stretched into the garden. It was maybe not the most fashionable pool ever but Ann was impressed. She had rarely known anyone who owned an indoors pool.

They swam for a while, Keira with the sure single-mindedness of an athlete, Ann slower and very conscious of her surroundings. After the best part of an hour, Keira climbed out of the water. "Want a drink? Some juice or something?"

"Yes, that would be great." Ann followed her out. She took one of the towels that lay beside the pool, drying herself off before knotting the towel around her waist.

Keira brought the drinks and they lay down in the deckchairs that looked over the garden.

After a minute's silence Keira carefully asked, "So, you and Mark, you two an item?"

Ann didn't quite know what to answer. What was Keira's definition of 'being an item'?

"Kind of", she finally replied.

"Sorry I'm asking. It's just that Mark never brought someone before. And as far as Glen told me you two haven't known each other very long."

"Not even a week." Ann thought back to the trip to Summer's Heart. She knew the blossoming smile would betray all her feelings to Keira but she couldn't suppress it.

"Oh, love on first sight, who would have thought." A good-natured but somewhat cautious smile accompanied Keira's words.

"How long have you three known each other?" Ann asked curiously.

"Oh my, seems like forever. Glen and Mark worked together. Didn't you know?"

It was a test of sorts, Ann could tell. "No, I just knew they are friends."

Keira nodded. "Well it was before…" She broke off.

"That I do know", Ann answered the unspoken question. So this was what Keira had been aiming at.

"Oh good. I mean, not good but – good that you know." Keira looked relieved. "I really wouldn't have known what to say if you didn't."

"Was Rebekka a friend of yours?" Ann probed gently.

Keira looked at Ann for the longest moment. "Bekka was my best friend."

Guilt knocked at Ann's heart. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault." Keira smiled.

Still the situation had turned somewhat awkward. Ann felt like Keira judged her against Rebekka. She bit her lips. You couldn't compete against the dead. And she had never meant to, either.

Finally Keira said, "Look, I'm sorry. You seem a nice gal and I don't have any prejudices against you. Plus I know Mark just dragged you here without giving you a warning. But we have become quite protective of him. He may look firm as a rock but he really didn't take her death well."

"I know." When Keira didn't answer, she added, "That's kind of the first thing he told me about himself. What happened at that accident."

That seemed to surprise Keira. "He did?"

Ann nodded.

"Well, seems you are something special. He doesn't talk about it usually, especially not to strangers." Keira gave her a wondering look, like trying to figure out what Mark saw in her.

Ann became uncomfortable under that gaze. "So, Glen and Mark worked together?"

She was successful in diverting Keira's attention. "Yeah, they did. But if Mark hasn't told you about it, it's maybe better he does so himself. He isn't fond of people spilling his stories."

"Is it that bad?" Ann hadn't thought about what Mark might have done for a living before he opened his shop.

"Sort of." Keira grinned.

Ann raised her eyebrows. How to interpret that? But Keira just changed the topic. "So, where do you work?"

"Umm", Ann grimaced, "I work at the 'Charms for Friends'. It's gift shop in the Eastern Mall. Nothing fancy." She wasn't ashamed of her work but in this gorgeous house working at the mall seemed like being a house-maid.

"Do you like the job?"

That was not a category she had ever tried to put the job in. "Well, it's ok. I wanted the job so I guess I can't complain."

She was saved from any further questions about her choice of work when they heard the guys coming back. They were obviously in the best mood.

"Man, you kick ass as ever! You should sell that shop and come back."

"Never. And now stop harassing me about it", Mark not very seriously growled.

"You finished early", Keira beamed a smile at Glen as the guys came in.

"Of course we did", Glen bent over to give Keira a kiss. "Thought, we had better things to do with our time. Like swimming with you ladies and inviting you out for dinner."

"Mmm", Keira sensually kissed him back, "good idea that is. Can hardly believe it's coming from you guys, so good is it."

"Be careful", Glen growled in her ear before lifting her up and nonchalantly throwing her into the pool.

Keira's scream was quickly drowned but when she came up again she was laughing. "You're so gonna pay for that, you big bastard."

"Come and get me!" Glen grinned widely.

Keira splashed water in his direction but Glen was fast as hell behind Mark, so the water hit Mark instead of him.

"Can't you two fight that out between yourselves?" Mark shook himself off like a wet dog. When Glen just laughed out loud, Mark promptly grabbed him and threw him right into the pool.

Keira clapped her hands. "Whoa for Mark!"

Glen didn't even break the surface before pulling Keira's legs away from under her. Keira retorted at once and soon they were engaged in a splish-splashing cat-fight.

Mark sat down on the chair beside Ann. "Maybe we wait a little until we join them."

Ann watched the couple chasing each other around with fascination. "How long did you say are they married?"

"Something like 6 years. Hard to believe, huh?"

It was. If he had told her they had been together for 6 months it would have been easier to believe. They behaved like freshly fallen-in-loves.

When the storm in the water had toned down a bit, Mark and Ann joined the others in the water. Ann could feel Mark's eyes on her though he made no comment about the bikini. It showed considerably more skin than anything else she had worn around him up to now. She had without doubt been luckier in that department. A smile crept up into the corners of her mouth as she remembered last night. The dragon rippled across his skin as he dove from one side of the pool to the other. In the water it seemed even more alive.

Suddenly she became aware that the laughter and splashing that had been a constant in the background had died away. When she looked around she found two pairs of eyes watching her, with Glen whispering something into Keira's ear.

When Keira noticed Ann was looking at them, she patted her husband on the chest. "You've been caught, honey."

Glen shrugged and flashed Ann a wide smile. "You just looked too cute, watching him like that."

Mark had heard the last part of Glen's sentence. He swam over to her. "Watching me, huh?" he grinned.

"Not you, dummy, the dragon!" She retorted as sugary as possible.

When Glen doubled over in the water from laughing, Mark playfully scowled at him. "Be careful you don't drown accidentally!" Looking back at Ann his voice changed, becoming lower, the southern accent much thicker. "Only the dragon, darlin'?"

They stood real close now, looking into each other's eyes, inches away from a kiss, when Glen called out, "Go for the catch, Ta-…" Then the sound of gurgles abruptly drowned his sentence.


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38: Colleagues and brothers

Mark's eyes shot towards Glen, even though there was only air where he had been a moment before. Keira had roughly shoved him backwards. When he surfaced, Glen's smile was gone. He was on the brink of saying something angry but finding his wife directing a stern look at him he swallowed whatever he had been going to say. Shrugging at Mark apologetically he stated somewhat gruffly, "I meant, I'm gonna change into dry clothes, giving you two a little more privacy to – discuss dragons. Plus, that'll put an end to the husband-bashing."

"I'll come with." Keira climbed out of the pool. "Don't do anything we wouldn't do."

"And maybe don't do anything we would do, either." Glen's grin had come back.

"We'll remember. We'll come up in a few minutes", Mark replied dryly.

"Take your time. Just remember we want dinner tonight." With that Glen and Keira left the room, immediately starting to chatter softly among themselves.

"So you ok with us having dinner with them? I can always say we decided we want to be alone." Mark looked at her questioningly.

Ann let herself sink back in the warm water, holding on to the edge of the pool, paddling with her feet. "I like them."

"Glad to hear that." Mark joined her.

"Even though she'll kill me if I ever misstep my way with you."

"Did she say that?" Mark seemed somewhere between amused and annoyed.

"Not in so many words. They love you a lot." She smiled at him.

"They were the one's who were there for me after the accident. Kinda not a time of my life people want to remember. I pretty much went nuts."

"That bad?"

"Worse. I don't know how they managed." He shook his head. "Glen is sort of like my brother, you know. Every time I – did something crazy and he was really pissed he would just say: 'Man, you're out of your mind. I'd love to beat the crap out of you. But you're my brother and bros stick with each other.'"

"Colleagues and brothers, that's neat."

Mark focused on her intensely. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, Keira told me you and Glen met at work."

"Did she now."

"Shouldn't she have told me?"

"It's true, so there is no reason not to tell." Still he sounded like something was wrong.

She shook her head. "You like being mystery man, huh? I'm gonna believe you were some kind of mafia boss or something." That earned her a grin at least.

"No, nothing like that. It's an interesting line of work though. Maybe I should have tried it out." He grinned. "Come on, they'll be waiting for us." Mark pushed himself off the pool wall and swam towards the shallow end. Ann followed him slightly irritated. He had told her so much already, what was the secret behind his former job?

She went over to the deckchair, drying herself off. Mark went back to the gym to change into his street-clothes which he had left there. Ann swiftly slipped into her clothes. She would have to think through all the information she had gotten this afternoon when she was home. Puzzles, in her opinion, were always there to be solved.


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39: More puzzles

When she had blow-dried her hair she went to the living-room. Mark had not bothered with drying his hair so he was already sitting on the couch beside Keira.

"So you won't be back before the middle of December?" he just asked Glen.

"Unfortunately not." Glen sighed. „I asked Keira to come but she declined."

"Six weeks in Europe seeing nothing but hotels, corridors and buses? Nah, thanks, I'd rather learn stitching."

"You'd see me", Glen protested.

"Yes, honey, between two in the night and ten in the morning. If that long. I have been there, remember?"

Glen pouted. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too." They smiled at each other.

Mark noticed Ann who had stopped at the door to enjoy the display of easy friendship. "Hey, darlin'."

"Hey." She smiled a bit embarrassed. She didn't want them to think she had tried to eavesdrop.

"Come on in", Keira made room for her on the couch, shuffling closer to Glen's armchair.

Ann shyly sat down between Mark and Keira. Seeing her unease, Mark reassuringly cupped her hand in his.

Glen grandly declared, "So ladies, seeing we're all here now, I officially announce this a ladies' night. You choose, our treat. You ok with that, Mark?"

"Sure. What do you two want to do?"

"Umm", Ann was at a loss, "I haven't really lived here very long, so I'm not good at choosing I guess." 'I have no friends to go out with, so why should I know any places?' was closer to the truth, but hell would freeze over before she'd admit to being such a pathetic wimp.

Glen just nodded and turned to Keira. „Well, the choice is on you then, baby." How much had Mark told them about her?

"Sarah's it is. And dancing afterwards." Keira emphasized the 'dancing' with satisfaction.

"Sarah's?" Ann was a little shocked.

"You don't like the place?" Mark asked her.

"No, it's not that, it's just, Sarah's is expensive."

"Don't worry, Ann, I'm sure the guys can cope", Keira patted her husband's knee.

Ann looked at Mark.

"She's right", Mark smiled softly.

"Ok then", Ann shrugged, "but I definitely gotta go home and change."

That brought polite smiles from everyone but was otherwise ignored. She felt like a teenager who had stumbled into an adult meeting. Best to ignore that as well.

Keira stood up. "I'll book us a table. Is eight alright with you?"

When everyone nodded she went over to the phone.

"And we'll better go." Mark stood up, too. Ann and Glen followed him.

Mark unceremoniously waved his hand at Glen and Keira, before taking Ann's hand in his and starting for the door. „See ya later, guys!"

Outside Ann took a deep breath. She felt like having run a marathon.

When Mark quizzically raised an eyebrow, she shook her hair out, energy restored by the

fresh air. Feeling bold again, she asked right out what was on her mind, "So, did I pass?"

He grinned, knowing instantly what she was talking about and not pretending otherwise. "Yeah, you did. But I think they are a bit shocked about us."

About us. Ann's smile deepened as she heard the casual way with which he used the pronoun.

Still grinning mischievously he wrapped his arm around her and walked her to the car.


	40. Chapter 40

Author's Note: Still terrible with the updates, I know. I'm trying. :) Oh, and still European and not a native speaker, so please excuse any mistakes. And now enjoy!

Chapter 40: A white Chrysanthemum

An hour later Ann stood undecidedly in front of a heap of clothes she had piled up on her bed. Mark was going to pick her up in 40 minutes yet she still had no idea what to wear. Sighing she let herself fall onto her bed beside the clothes. Her life had picked up a speed she wasn't really able to follow. Grabbing single thoughts out of the mass of emotions that stormed in on her was difficult. And she still hadn't puzzled out Glen and Keira. On the one hand they seemed down to earth, with a hearty humour and no arrogance. On the other hand they had this air of – money about them that she wasn't used to. Mark lacked any air of that sort and she had taken him for her equal money-wise – always close to broke but never really. By now she suspected that wasn't quite true. Whatever job it was Glen and Mark had worked in together, Glen obviously made some money out of it. So Mark would have, too. But then, he couldn't have opened his shop very long ago, she didn't remember it being there when she moved six month ago. If he hadn't worked in between, his reserves had probably melted away over the years.

Ann sighed. This wasn't going to lead her anywhere. Plus, Sarah's had not been her idea after all. If he said he could afford it, she had no choice but to accept that.

With a final nod she decided on a dark crimson dress, the color her sister had used to call 'dried blood red'. It was a simple dress, no ornaments; the only decoration was that the braids were slashed with black. Yet the fabric was shining and soft, hugging in all the right places but with a wide skirt that left her freedom to dance. Maybe it lacked some of the glamour people at Sarah's were used to, but it would do.

Having settled that, she went to the bath-room, for once taking her time to do her hair and make-up. As the finishing touch she put on a necklace that held a small ruby. It had once belonged to her grandma and she wore it with reverence. Looking into the mirror she found she had nothing to be ashamed of.

Only minutes later the door-bell rang. She rushed down, putting on her heels quickly.

When she opened, her eyes almost popped out of her head. She took in the gorgeous man in front of her. A tuxedo surely had never looked as good on anyone before. His hair flowed down in flaming waves since he had not tied it back tonight. Gorgeous was just the word.

He produced a small bouquet of flowers from his back. Heaven knew where he had gotten them on a Sunday. It was a mixture of red and white chrysanthemums.

"They are beautiful", she hadn't thought it possible but she was falling in love deeper with every second she spent with him.

Mark rubbed his neck. "Hoped you'd like them." If she hadn't known better she would say he was a little nervous.

"I'll put them in some water. I'll be back in a minute." She went into the kitchen and put the Chrysanthemums in a vase, taking out a single white flower which she tied into her hair.

Mark smiled as he saw the blossom. Tenderly stroking alongside the flower, he let his hand trail down to her neck. "It looks even more beautiful on you."

She felt the familiar blush rise. His bass never failed to vibrate deep down inside her. With an almost timid smile she looked up at him. His hand hadn't fallen from her back.

"Oh, darlin'…" he didn't finish the sentence, just bent down. She closed her eyes as his lips touched hers. Their softness left her astounded once again. Leaning into him for stability, she raised on her toes to deepen the kiss. He held her easily, probably he could have carried her without any discomfort. Touching her lips with his tongue once, twice, he begged for entrance. Her lips parted. The sensation was intense and new as if they hadn't kissed before. Her head grew light. She was yearning for his touch, every fibre of her body dissolving into it, melting all over him.

When their kiss broke for air, losing his lips seemed like the most painful thing. His face was still only inches apart from hers. She traced his cheek with her fingers, his swollen lips. He playfully caught her fingers between his teeth, caressing them with his tongue before releasing them again. A low moan escaped her throat. He echoed it when she let her still wet fingers trail down his throat. His lips were on hers again before her hand had reached his Adams apple. Only now did Ann realize what a strain it had been to hold back from touching him, from kissing him, the whole day while being so close. An impossible strain it seemed. How had she managed?

"I shoulda have told them we want to spend the evening alone." His voice was all raspberries as his lips moved against hers.

"Too late", it came out more as a groan than audible words.

"They'll be waiting." One hand around her neck held her firmly as his other hand explored her face, tracing the line of her eye-brow, tenderly stroking her temple.

"Probably." All thoughts left her mind as he started to run down kisses the side of her neck.

Suddenly someone loudly cleared his throat behind them. "And here I thought we were running late. Sorry to interrupt but my ability to take a display like yours has its limits."

Ann hastily tried to compose herself, blushing a deep scarlet right up to her scalp. Mark, facing away from Glen, closed his eyes for a second, decidedly frustrated and judging by the colour of his face slightly embarrassed as well. He rolled his eyes, grimacing, then shrugged his shoulders apologetically at her. "I knew I shouldn't have told him where you lived."

"Oh man, trust me, I sure as hell would have gone straight to the restaurant had I known. Be glad no kids were around to see."

Mark sighed exaggeratedly and turned towards Glen. "You got a problem, bro'?"

"No, Sir, never, Sir", he managed an innocent look, „this is your yard, I understand. Or rather, it's hers." Judging by the mischievous grin that followed there was a double meaning in this, Ann didn't get.

"Why are you here anyway? Didn't we say we'd meet at the restaurant?" The sentences were clipped. Mark was trying to find back to his usual voice.

"Yes, we did", Keira came up to the front, "but old dumb-head here said we might as well drive together so everyone but me can drink."

Ann hadn't even noticed Keira being there before she started to speak. Boy, blushing definitely was her favourite new sport.

"And if I hadn't, we probably wouldn't have gotten dinner at all." Glen laced his fingers through Keira's. "But we can always give you five more minutes." He looked at them with mock helpfulness.

"Thanks but I think we'll decline. I don't like the audience." Mark stated. He had found his sense of humour back.

Ann herself had recovered enough to go inside and fetch her handbag. She took a quick glance into the mirror. The disarray in her hair and make-up seemed negligible. Hard to believe. A kiss like that should show.


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41: Sarah's

When they arrived at Sarah's the place was packed. Though not in the crowded way pubs were packed. There was a hustle and bustle of waiters around the tables which were all laid with white cloths and silver cutlery. A candle burned on every table. Someone played the piano in the far corner of the room.

Ann had never been to Sarah's before, though her sister had told her about it. Ally had been there once and again with a wealthy friend of hers. She said she went there for the delicious food but would always prefer an evening at Carla's. Ann could see why. All the elegance, all the well-bred, well-educated, well-behaved people made her feel clumsy and insufficient.

She kept close to Mark, never letting go of his hand until they were safely seated.

Surprisingly, Mark and Glen, those giants whose raw power you could feel in every move of them, fit in without problems. She hadn't really had any doubts about Keira, but the guys? Two hours ago her imagination would not have allowed to think them in tuxedos let alone completely at ease in a place like this.

Their voices lowered, Mark and Glen debated over the wine list. Ann got the feeling they knew what they were debating about as well.

"You haven't been here before, have you?" Keira gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Is it that obvious?"

Keira nodded.

"No worries, we're with you", Glen grinned.

"And why doesn't that reassure me?" Ann half smiled. She didn't want to seem like a timid mouse. And she sure as hell didn't want to seem like an uneducated brat.

"Shall I tell you a secret?" Glen bent over the table. "I do prefer a bottle of nice cold lager over all the expensive wines here at any time. But she", he nodded his head towards Keira, "just loves to brag with the two of us."

Keira grinned and nodded consent. "Just watch the old scare-crows with their dried-up white-collar husbands!"

Ann unobtrusively scanned the room. And sure enough there were quite a few barely hidden stares. Some women unconsciously fumbled at their cleavage or swept their hair back, their companions completely forgotten.

Instinctively Ann laid her hand on Mark's, noticing her reaction only afterwards. 'That's mine' was what the gesture shouted and she could tell the others knew.

"See", Keira said, "that's why I like coming here."

After that, the ice was broken. Ann felt more comfortable with every minute. They chatted away, talking of everything and nothing. Especially Glen seemed to make an effort to include her into every joke. She got the feeling that he really liked her. But then maybe he just didn't think as far as Keira, who was still reserved towards her, even though she tried not to let it show.

Food came and it was delicious. To Ann's great relieve she didn't once spill anything. And who would have thought she could enjoy herself so much in a place like that? By the time the dessert arrived she cracked jokes with Glen as if she had known him for a life-time.

Mark obviously enjoyed the blossoming friendship between them, smiling contented while watching them banter. Sometimes he casually laid a hand on Ann's arm or with the slightest pressure squeezed her hand.

Ann was conscious of Keira noticing every touch, every eye-contact between Mark and her, but she didn't hold a grudge against her. She could do nothing to prove to Keira that she was worthy of Mark's attention, worthy because of who she was and worthy in spite of who she was not. Time had to show this for her. She hoped to God that time would show it.

Before long the guys were discreetly paying. Ann didn't have a chance to glimpse the price. But then, maybe that was for the best.

Once outside, Glen put his arm around Keira, Mark imitating him promptly, drawing Ann close to him.

Glen watched it with an expression of amusement. "You know what?" he asked no one in particular. "The one bar I'd really like to go to tonight is the 'Toothless Crocodile'."

"That's half a country away, man. Bit too far for tonight." Mark grinned.

"Still, there's a 'Toothless Crocodile' in every town." Glen wasn't so easily dissuaded.

"Not here, there's no college around." Mark insisted.

"We'll not go to the local school-hangout", Keira jumped into the conversation. "I'm definitely not playing in that league anymore."

"Uhh, baby, you're beautiful as ever", Glen gave her quick peck on the mouth, "plus – doesn't tonight make you feel young? It feels like a college double-date. And I haven't had one of those lately."

"You'd better not", Keira grumbled.

"Wanna come to Europe?" Glen asked hopefully.

Keira laughed, "Nice try. But fortunately I know that you won't have any time for the pretty little London college girls. Plus you're too old for them anyhow."

"Ha ha", now it was Glen's turn to grumble.

Ann would have liked to ask what that Europe trip was all about, but she had asked about Mark's former work twice today and she had twice not gotten an answer. So she just changed the topic back to the available bars. "What about the 'Cherry & Mint'? If there's any place college in town it's that one."

"The 'Cherry & Mint'?" That was a place the others didn't know.

"Well, you get in for free if you wear something with red and turquoise stripes. That sums it up, I think."

"No", Keira shook her head vigorously, "it's Ladies' Night. And I want to go dancing not having him stare at pseudo-french school-girls in stripes of whatever colour." When Glen started to say something she added, "And I don't care a damn bit about how young you feel."

Ann grinned, "The 'Soul' it is then, I think."

"Yes, just what I wanted to say", Keira nodded enthusiastically.

"You lost, bro', just give it up", Mark sympathetically patted Glen's shoulder, as Glen grumblingly accepted their choice.


	42. Chapter 42

Chapter 42: The entrance to the Soul

The 'Soul' was a place even Ann went to once in a while, usually with the other Angels. It was a mixture of a bar and club, with a wide dancing area and reasonable prices. The cue in front of the entrance wasn't long tonight since it was Sunday.

When it was their turn, the bouncer waved Glen and Keira through with only the slightest hesitation at Glen's size. A tuxedo had its advantages. Then it was Ann's and Mark's turn. He judged Mark with a frown, then looked over to Ann. Instantly his face brightened. "Ann, lass, haven't seen you in a while! What's with the Angels, I miss the awesome threesome."

And here she had thought she didn't know any people. "Good ta see ya, old bounce head."

Stepping out of Mark's embrace she walked forward to give the bouncer a hug and a small peck on the cheek.

"Want to introduce me?" Mark's voice had something of growl in it.

Tom raised an eyebrow. Ann ever so slightly shook her head, the gesture so small it was almost unnoticeable. But Tom saw it anyway. He shrugged and turned towards Mark, "Me, I'm Tom. I'm the bouncer here."

"I noticed", Mark ignored Tom's out-stretched hand.

Ann looked from one to the other. She sighed. "Guys, please? Mark, this is Tom, a very old friend. Tom, this is Mark, my –", she kind of didn't know how to finish the sentence.

"Bodyguard? Special 7 foot friend?" Tom chuckled.

Mark didn't seem to find the joke funny at all. He glared at Tom. She quickly laid a hand on Mark's chest, inserting herself between the guys. "My date", she finished her sentence with some emphasize.

That seemed to have been the right word. Mark relaxed slightly, drawing her close again. Still his possessive attitude did not change.

Tom looked them up and down. Shaking his head he waved them through. As Ann passed him, he softly told her, "You two were always alike each other that way. Always into the dangerous guys."

She didn't answer him, just pressed her fee into his hand.

Once inside the throng of people became too thick to walk beside each other. So Mark took her hand, weaving his way through the crowd, looking out for Glen and Keira. Making their way through the press of bodies that was lighted by dark light and occasional flashes of the light machine, they found Glen and Keira on the far side, at the bar. It was insignificantly quieter here, but the crowd was a little thinner.

"What took you so long?" Glen bent closer to be heard over the music.

Mark didn't answer, so Ann replied, leaning in to Glen while making sure she talked loud enough Mark would understand it. "The bouncer's a friend of my sister. They went to night school together."

She didn't look at Mark but she thought she could feel the change in his expression. So, either her imagination went wild or there had been an issue here.

Glen hadn't noticed the silent second communication in the conversation. He just nodded. "Want a drink?"

But Keira already dragged him towards the second room, where the quieter dancing area with the less up-beat songs was. "Dance now, drink later!"

Ann grinned, Keira definitely knew her husband well. She nudged Mark's hand. "Come on, dance now is good."

He looked down on her, his expression somewhat strange in the flickering lights. "A friend of your sister, huh?"

She just nodded and began dragging him after Keira and Glen.


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43: The Soul

The dancing area was packed. Even though the song was not really slow they had no choice but to dance close. Mark's thoughts obviously were still at some remote place, so Ann just laid her hands on his hips, giving him space to think and herself space to dance without losing his touch.

Possessiveness somehow suited him. And she didn't find it hard to accommodate to it. That surprised her, but so many things had surprised her over the last few days that it seemed barely more than a drop of water in the sunshine. Or in a rainstorm for that matter.

After a few songs Glen and Keira came over. Glen held a hand out to Ann. "May I?" Ann wasn't sure if he had asked her or Mark, but Mark after a second's hesitation let go of her, so she nodded.

Ann had thought Glen wouldn't be much of dancer, seeing how Keira had grabbed the chance of going dancing without the boys having a say in it, but Glen actually danced quite well, real dancing-steps and everything.

When the song ended she told him that.

He grinned, "Thanks for the flowers. Mark is a lot better than me usually", he glanced over to where Mark and Keira danced a little stiffly as the next slower song started, "not tonight though, it seems."

Ann just shrugged, not wanting to explain about the incident with Tom.

Glen drew her closer, so they could keep talking while dancing. "You keep his mind damn occupied, I can tell you."

"Do I?"

"Yep. I can tell you from the best-mate inside view. Even though he'll kick my ass if he finds out."

This was interesting. "So, any more inside details you can tell me? I'll promise not to spill."

"Ah, see, here's a problem. New lovers never keep such promises."

"I do?" Lashing her eyes at him she pouted.

Glen laughed. She couldn't hear much of it through the blaze of the music, but she could feel the rumbling in his chest. "Women, always get you in trouble. Well, I can tell you I heard about you the day he met you. The lady with the Titan. He was quite stunned. Though I can't tell if more about himself or about you."

She nodded. Mark had explained why he had taken her to Summer's Heart but she had wondered where the impulse to take her there had come from.

"Keira said he told you about Rebekka right away?" Glen watched her intently.

A man with a mission. She wondered if Keira was behind this. "Did Mark tell you where he took me that first day?"

"You tried out that Titan."

"Yeah. I meant, to which place we drove."

Glen shook his head.

"Summer's Heart." She assumed he knew the place.

Glen whistled, "Really? He showed you Summer's Heart? No wonder his mind was a tangle. It's Bekka's place after all."

That gave Ann a little stab. But she had known so already.

"Well, of course, law-wise it's Mark's place nowadays." Glen added as if stating the obvious.

Ann looked at him confused, "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's his place. The whole forest, he bought it."

"Really?" Ann couldn't believe it. „He owns the whole forest?"

"Sure", Glen nodded. When he saw her dazzled expression, he shook his head thoughtfully. "You really do have no idea who he is, have you?"

Ann's mind needed a second to register that. Then she grinded her feet into the ground. Enough was enough. "Blood and bloody ashes. I have no idea who he is? What the fuck is that supposed to mean now? Will someone tell me what the hell these fucking comments are all about! And right now, if you please!" By the end of the sentence she was yelling fairly loud.

The couples around them gave a little way, sensing a fight.

"Whoa", Glen was caught of guard by her outburst.

Before he managed to answer anything more coherent Mark had shoved his way to Ann's side. "What's wrong?"

"Bloody you tell me", Ann turned towards him. She would end this 'I spy' – game. Right now.

Mark looked at Glen, who shrugged, "Man, she just went of like that. Your lady has a hell of a temper."

"What did you do?" Mark took a step closer to Glen, suddenly looming over him. People around them widened the circle of clear space.

"I didn't do nothing, bro'." But when he went on, Glen's voice suddenly had a sharp edge to it, "But I'm wondering, man. If you really do like her that much, why don't you just tell her. 'Bout who you are."

"None of your business that is", Mark's growl was menacing at best. "She knows about what's important."

Ann got more frustrated with every second. They ignored her! "Would you two give me the freedom to decide, what I find important, thanks? It's about the job again, right? So why on earth can't you just tell me about that job?" She had rounded on Mark again.

The guys were not taking their attention away from each other, none of them wanting to give the other the slightest advantage come a fight. Ann wanted to shake them or possibly scream from frustration.

By now Keira stood beside her, muttering angry but inaudible words. Ann was sure the tirade was directed at her at least as much as at the guys. Whatever. Dealing with Keira would have to wait. Ann focused back on the guys. With considerable force she tried to push herself in between them, wanting to make them acknowledge her by her pure physical presence.

Tom chose this moment to show up. "Trouble here?"

Ann gave up her futile attempts. "Yes! I'm being all ignored!"

She wanted to stomp her feet, but she already sounded childish enough. Plus, the moment she said it, it wasn't true anymore. Oh yes, she had told Mark Tom had been Ally's friend. But the moment Tom had shown up Mark had turned his attention away from Glen and towards Tom, who had stopped beside her. The glances he sent them were unreadable.

Tom took a minute to judge the situation. He kept an eye on Mark and Glen, while muttering to Ann, "Dangerous guys, I told you."

Ann sighed heavily, "I never said they weren't either. But if you're looking for the trouble-maker, that would be me."

Tom shot her a surprised glance.

"Yes. I kinda caused a little scene. Shoulda have known these two hot-heads would be in for the fight. I'll straighten this out. Outside, if you say so."

Tom shook his head as if disappointed in her. "Oh lass, here I always thought you to be the responsible one." But the small smile in his otherwise serious eyes betrayed his fondness for her. Loud he added, "Straighten it out. The moment anyone gets hit, you're all out of here for tonight. And if it's an innocent bystander, you'll be out for a long while. Even you, lass."

With that he turned on his heel and left them standing. Mark and Glen watched Tom leave somewhat irritated. Their fighting stance had slackened. The one sparkling fury was Keira. She had put her hands on her hips and her eyes were hard. "What the fuck's the matter with you? One quiet evening, is that too much to ask?"

Both guys started to answer but Ann was faster, "It's my fault, alright?" With a short appeasing gesture towards Keira she turned to the guys, "I just don't get what Mark's ex-job has to do with anything or why I'm supposed not to know who he is. I mean, I don't know him for very long, I get that. But I kinda know things about his life, that really can't be topped. At least not by a damn job." She faced Glen, "So I won't let anyone tell me I didn't know who Mark is."

When with the mentioning of his name she looked into Mark's burning eyes, her fury was finally smothered, leaving her weary. "Look, Mark, if you don't want to tell me it's ok. Whatever reasons you have, I accept. But…", she went a step closer to him, lowering her voice so the bystanders wouldn't understand, "remember the talk about us and this being serious?" She searched his eyes for the answer she already knew, "I wish they would stop making those comments. This whole thing is getting frightening."

His eyes held a deep fire she had no part of. Thoughts surfaced and were drawn back again. Finally he nodded and took her hand, "I think it's time to go home, darlin'."


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44: Taker

Mark turned to Glen. His voice was affectionate if somewhat strained, as if they actually had battled, "Sorry, bro', shouldn't have let my temper flare."

"Nah, bro', me I'm sorry. I should have held my tongue."

Mark gave him a friendly shove. "You'll never learn that."

"Good that you are the sensible one of us", Glen replied somewhat sarcastically.

Mark ignored the comment and turned to Keira, "I guess we did ruin your dancing. Sorry, Keira. But Ann and I need to have a talk. Someplace private."

"Don't do something you'll rue." Keira sounded less furious than alarmed now.

"I won't. I promise." Mark gave her a reassuring smile that had no visible effect. "You two stay, dance, forget about us crazy people for a while."

With a last nod he turned to go, but Glen stopped them. "Hey Ann, I'm a dumb-head and I know it. Don't hold it against me ok?"

She nodded. "Sorry I screamed at you."

"You're welcome. Do it again."

"Dumb-head." But her smile turned out more worried than she wanted to show. Her mind was already racing ahead to the Talk.

"See, I said it." Glen grinned. He wasn't one for being serious longer than necessary.

Mark didn't share Glen's grin, he just nodded and tagged Ann along. She didn't have time to say bye to Keira, but then Keira probably wasn't too fond of her right now anyway.

They struggled to get back out, the crowd had not lessened in the short time they had been in.

When they passed the entrance, Tom looked at her questioningly. Ann gazed up at Mark. "Give me a minute, please?"

He nodded and let go of her hand, walking a few steps away before waiting on her.

Ann went over to Tom, taking a care not to stand too close to him. "Sorry about the trouble."

"Nothing happened. You alright, lass?"

"Sure. You know I can stand my own."

"So could your sis', lass." Grief was thick in Tom's voice. And why had she never noticed the sadness around his eyes? Too engulfed in her own, probably.

"You take care, Tom, alright? Us Angels, we need you around", she didn't like the sadness in his eyes at all. She had the impression it was permanent. "Come visit me for my lunch-break at the Mall, ok?"

He raised his eye-brows. "That alright with Mr Possessive?"

"Don't. He's one of the good guys. Dangerous at times; I'll give that. But he won't hurt me. It's not in him to hurt the ones he loves."

"Loves, huh? I guess I'll come by just to hear that story. You still working the mornings Tue and Thu?"

She nodded.

"Alright, I'll see if I can manage."

"Great. See you, then."

"Yes, see you."

They smiled and Ann went back to Mark.

"All said?" His tone was noncommittal.

"Yes. Let's go." Lacing her fingers through his she followed him to the taxi-stand.

Mark gave the driver his address. They were silent for most of the trip. Even the driver sensed something was wrong and didn't try to engage them in a conversation.

When they were at Mark's place, Mark paid and they went inside.

"I want to show you something." Mark led her into the living-room.

She took a place on the couch. "Alright?"

Taking of his jacket, he rummaged through one of the closets, finally emerging with a box in hand. He sat down beside her, a minute ticking by before he spoke up, "I kinda tried to put telling you of. It's not my life anymore and I kinda enjoyed that – that you – that what you knew about me", he thought about it before finally settling on a way to say what he wanted to, "was all me, not my public appearance, you know?"

She didn't but she nodded to keep him going. All this secrecy made her stomach knot.

He opened the box, rummaging through the contents and finally handing her some papers in a transparent folder.

They were enlargements of a few pictures.

The uppermost was in a steely blue. Obviously it showed Mark, though he did not look like himself at all. As far as she could tell from the false colours of the photo his hair was dyed black, he wore a goatee that left his upper lip free and his clothes looked somewhat between an insane middle-age warrior and a fantastic creation directly out of the darker parts of Middle Earth.

She took the next picture. It showed him walking down a kind of ramp, people with torches building a lane to his sides. He wore a long leather coat and an old-style black hat, so you saw almost nothing of his expression.

With picture number three things began finally to clear up. It showed two men engaged in a fight in a ring. The one in black she took for Mark, though you saw more flying hair than face, the other one was clothed in red with a mask on his face. He seemed equally tall as Mark.

"That's Glen", Mark stated quietly, pointing to the man in red, "or rather Kane, his persona, as it was a while back."

"I know this", Ann thought aloud, "I've seen it before… Yes, at Lonny's." She nodded to herself. "It's wrestling, right? Where you fight but actually it's all scripted and acting and stuff. They used to watch it all the time."

She turned over to the fourth photograph. Mark in the ring again but celebrating with a big golden belt in hand. She studied it intently. Then she stated, "That's one of the big federations, isn't it? You've been quite good."

He chuckled dryly. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

The last picture was a promo-shot. 'Undertaker'. That seemed to ring a bell. Which meant that Lonny had probably been into him. He would be quite his type. She noticed Mark's frown at her reclusive smile but she didn't feel like explaining that. Instead she said, "So, you're like that big evil bastard celebrity, huh?"

"No. I'm not. That's the point."

Suddenly she remembered something he had said about her dreams. That he knew what it was like to feel hunted. Those wrestlers indeed were huge celebrities. He probably would have been followed. Only for real. "So do they remember you?"

He got her train of thought after only a second's hesitation. "Yes, they do. Maybe the younger ones don't but the others do."

She just nodded. She didn't really have an idea what it was like to be a celebrity.

"See, I – I stopped after Bekk's death." His face wrinkled. Then he shook his head, his voice now subtly tinged with – contempt, she thought. "You have no idea. I was a danger to everybody. That's why I quit. You got to be focused on that job. One mistake can break a man's neck."

His fist clenched, opened, clenched, opened. All his energy concentrated in that small movement.

"No one understood. They were all commiseration and helpfulness, but they didn't get it. Not even Glen. They wanted me to go on. And I couldn't tell them", his voice was almost inaudible now, "not about the baby anyhow. So I just went away. Avoided everyone. I couldn't stand my friends who knew about Rebekka. I couldn't stand the fans who did not yet. I couldn't stand people laughing or couples who fought. I wanted to smash their faces, tell them… I don't know. That they shouldn't waste what they had."

Again he needed a while to sort out his thoughts. "I think even Glen was afraid of me at times. But Glen and Keira just kept looking out for me. They were the ones to bring me back."

Ann swallowed hard. This wasn't about the job at all. Some things could be mended. Others were beyond healing once they were broken. She went through the photos again. The Phantom-Mark, foolish and hot-headed, a young and daring man, stared back at her. She couldn't remember but if she had ever talked with Lonny about 'the Undertaker' she probably would have been fascinated with the big show but would not have seen the man. But then, hadn't she herself been a foolish hot-head back then? She grimaced. Pain welled up inside her, as usual when she thought about the many times she could have been better. More attentive. More caring. Just more.

Mark was watching her intensely, fist now clenched continuously and knuckles white. He seemed tense to breaking.

She carefully put the pictures aside, concentrating on the movements of her hand. What she said next would decide where the tension would lead. Who would he be today if the truck had taken another route that night? Strangely, her mind was quite calm while her hands shook.

"I'm glad they were there." She understood Keira's fears perfectly. Even if they did everything right, there was no way to avoid the pain. She wanted to deny that, had tried to do so ever since she knew. Tears had crept into her eyes now, hot and stinging. She couldn't fathom how he did that, making her so intense. Her limbs trembled, unstoppable even though she forced them still with all her willpower.

She took a deep breath, trying to translate some calmness of mind into her body. Well, possibly her mind wasn't so calm after all. No way in hell would she manage a steady voice right now. But she had to make sure he knew that her disobedient body's trembling wasn't about him. For her sake he could earn his money whichever way he chose to, selling bikes or faking to thrash people, what did it matter?

But she had to be more this time. More of everything. She wasn't going to lose someone else. Pushing herself consciously over the edge of the cliff, she abandoned her usual defences and told him what was on her mind. "I'm just so damn afraid, Mark. So afraid, I'm only making it worse. I make you relive things and you shouldn't have to. I don't care about whatever job you have or had and I'd damn well break any groupie's nose but I just - I care too much about you."

Tears were silently running down her cheeks. She remembered how she had told her sister more or less the same thing at the cemetery and she could almost feel her touch. She vigorously rubbed the tears away, but to no appeal, new tears every time followed. Why hadn't she ever told her what was in her heart?

Suddenly his big hand cupped her cheek, his thumb wiping away a tear. With the slightest pressure he lifted her chin up, making her look at him. He searched her eyes, though for what she was not able to say. But a heartbeat later she saw that his eyes were bright with unshed tears, glistening like dark emeralds.

His voice was soft as velvet, though the tone was matter-of-factly. "I'll do whatever it takes."

She closed her eyes. The tears just didn't want to stop flowing.

"Whatever it takes. As long as you want me."

For the length of a breath all blood left her brain. A shower of shivers ran over her.

When she opened her eyes again, his tension had been converted into something new, like a wall broken, a commitment made that hadn't been there before.

"You gotta make this always, for that is as long as I'll want you."


	45. Chapter 45

Author's note: Sorry for the long delay (again). But I got married and stuff, so I didn't get to do much writing. Hope you all enjoy the story anyway!

---

Chapter 45: Sure of you

She wanted to throw her arms around his neck but he made no move to close the distance between them, so she didn't dare to either. But she took his hands, wanting to feel he was real. His eyes were shimmering, the bright silver reflection on a dark lake. She couldn't tear her gaze away from them. Her own tears finally slowed to a trickle.

With a somewhat forced smile she broke the silence, "And that was all the secret? Just you being a crazy famous guy?"

He didn't take his eyes away from her. "I'm not. Not anymore. That was another life. Even though there's still too many who don't grasp that. As long as you're young and unharmed you see the advantages but then…"

Her smile widened, becoming real despite herself, and she couldn't stop saying it, "It was never just about getting into your pants either."

To her surprise that made him chuckle. "Thanks for the reassurance", he replied dryly.

"You're welcome. I'm sure Keira will be glad to hear that as well."

"She's not thinking you're a ring rat if that's what you mean." Mark seemed irritated at her mentioning Keira.

"I know." Ann sighed. „It's just… With Glen I feel he kinda likes me for myself. With Keira it's more like she always sees who I'm not."

Mark squeezed her hands. "Give her time."

She nodded. Time was a good thing.

Mark's eyes strayed to the picture of Rebekka. Then he focused back on Ann. Some determination had entered his expression. She sat a little more upright. She could tell, that there was a point he wanted to make. "The fight we had – when the accident happened… it wasn't really about the cinema payback-card, though that was the words…"

Ann looked at him questioningly.

"Bekk was… We had met a bunch of fans… she was not ever quite able to cope with the fact that I had my share of groupies and that I had to deal with them. I never... But I talked to them. Some were fun, others were nuts. Damn it, they were my fans after all."

"So she didn't feel sure of you?" Ann carefully probed. She must have known how much he loved her, right?

"God knows I gave her no reason. Still we fought about it almost every single day. She made me so damn mad…"

His voice suddenly became very resolute and he looked Ann straight in the eyes. "I can't do it again. You asked me and I told you. I haven't been looking for that kind of thing back then and I ain't now. You gonna have to trust me on that."

So there was the point he wanted to get across. And an explanation for the anger the other morning. Hurt and rage, close companions as usual.

"I do", she met his gaze levelly. She had no fears he would stray. "But I demand the same rights for me. If I want to talk to the bouncer, I talk to the bouncer."

"I got that."

"Good." She nodded confirmatively though she knew his possessive attitude would not diminish. Which she had to admit did not overly bother her. Plus, she wasn't too sure about herself in that department either. She might not break the groupie's nose but she damn well wouldn't let anyone touch what was hers. What was hers. That thought conjured up a fleeting smile, gone as soon as it came.

What a strange twist of life. Rebekka who had had every reason to feel sure of him was now the one Ann would have to share Mark with. Another time the thought would spark jealousy again. But for now a smile, born of all that was loving and true and alive inside her, spread on her face. She bent over, letting her lips linger on his for a minute, a kiss like strawberries and honey-suckle, lighter than she felt. Such a beautiful man, such a dark and passionate and loving soul. She wouldn't ever get enough of him.

"I'm gonna go home now, think a little." Whatever happened she knew she wasn't alone anymore. So it seemed she was luckier than Rebekka that way after all. She was sure of him.


	46. Chapter 46

Chapter 46: A prayer

She fully came back to her senses only when she was already tucked into her bed tightly. She knew she could have stayed at Mark's. But she needed to be alone. Needed to think. Needed to feel. All year she had spent trying to banish her emotions, knowing they would lead to dark and dangerous places only. She had not allowed them to grab a hold in her heart, winking them through like a police-man who regulated the traffic at a crossroads. Now they stormed in on her from all sides, demanding her attention. It was too much yet she had no desire to turn back.

"Forgive me. But you are dead and he is alive."

Maybe more alive than he had been when he was a young man. More alert. Life had been grey to her after Ally's death, indifferent. But she saw now that there was another way to cope with death. One that made you see that every flower, every sun-beam, every drop of rain was unique and beautiful. Even if your heart couldn't enjoy the beauty, you could appreciate it. Every simple thing was of a value.

"Give him free. Give him free to enjoy the sun again. To feel its tickle. Give him free to live again. To love."

Ally had done the wrong thing. Giving up living while you had the chance was plain dumb. One second could end your life and the pain and sorrow that brought was hard enough. You must not do it out of your own free will.

It was much harder to let yourself live though. Much harder to find the strength every morning to break through your walls and let life in. So many people didn't. Her mother shut life out with a whole battery of padlocks. Her father shut life out by denying his responsibility for anything that happened to him. She herself had shut life out by shutting everyone else out.

But you had to make a decision every day. If you wanted to live or just wait until death dropped by to collect you.

"Don't let him just wait onto the Grim Reaper. He deserves to live."

It was a prayer more than anything. And as always with prayers there was no guarantee the addressee would receive the message. Let alone grant the wishes.

She laid Mr Rabbit beside her, so that his soft fur caressed her cheek.

A sigh of wind brought childhood laughter though it sounded eerie, hollow through the echo of the years. The river never looses a drop, just takes it to the sea. Maybe memories really were like that. Changing and becoming distorted but not lost.

The guilt never lessened, he had said. But it had to. You had to find a way to release it so you could go on.

"Please, let him find peace in life. Don't make him wait until death."

A prayer for him. A prayer for herself


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47: Phone call from home

She woke to the ringing of the phone. Mr Rabbit was clutched in her hand. She jumped out off bed, taking him with her.

"Yes?" Her voice sounded scratchy from sleep. She cleared her throat.

„Ann? That you?"

For a moment she couldn't place a face to the voice. Then it hit her. "Oh my God! Lonny!"

"Who else, you unfaithful little bitch!"

"I wanted to return your calls, I swear, I wanted to!"

"So they always say before they rip your heart out", he replied gloomily.

What a drama queen! She grinned. "Had your heart ripped out lately?"

"A dozen times! And that was only last week!"

He hadn't changed. She laughed. "You know what, we just talked about you yesterday!"

"Needed an example for a beauty or a fag?"

"Oh Sweetie, neither nor", Ann laughed.

"Pity", she could hear Lonny's grin. But he continued seriously, "So, you sound better."

"I am."

"Why didn't you return our calls then? Bette is already half mad with concern."

"Oh shit, I didn't want that", Ann softly cursed. Bette had been the closest to a best friend she had ever had apart from her sister.

"Yeah, shit. If it helps, she'll be glad to hear you're better, before ripping you into pieces."

When she didn't answer, Lonny sighed. "Alright, no talk about ripping and pieces. Sorry."

Ann hadn't seen the connection before he said it. She ignored his comment. "I'll call her. I promise. Now tell me what's happened back home since we last talked?"

"Summer came and went and it got chilling cold and lonely."

"Oh Lonny…" If his intention in calling her had been to give her conscience a good twitch he succeeded brilliantly.

"Yeah, well, apart from that… Not much of life and death quality happened. Pride Weekend was fun, work sucks. Bette is still battling her laser beams. She'll never get around to actually writing her thesis."

Ann chuckled. „So she still together with Rick?"

"Yeah, as crazy as that sounds. That Ricky dude's a bigger drama queen than me but you can't deny he's doing her good."

"Oh man, I miss you all. I really do."

"Why don't you get your sweet little ass in that car of yours and come right back home then?"

Ann's smile saddened. She hadn't talked to her friends about her plans. Well, she hadn't talked to her friends at all recently. And up until very recently she hadn't really had any plans, either. But by now she was sure of one thing. "I'm sorry, Lonny. Don't get mad on me now but I don't think I'll be coming back."

Silence on the other end of the line, then, "What do you mean, you are not coming back? Like, not ever?"

"Yes. I mean, I'll come visit and stuff. Just not – come back for living."

The silence stretched.

"Lonny? You still there?"

„Wow, that hit me square in the chest."

"Come on, Lonny, don't make it harder on me as it already is."

"Then why aren't you just coming back?"

"I can't." Despite her best efforts her tone was pleading. She wanted his blessing.

„Oh no, I won't let you get off so easily. Break off all contact to your friends, stay in a crappy place and a crappy job to loose yourself in your depression? That's alright for a time, a few months, but forever? No way!"

She closed her eyes, breathing deeply to keep her calm. Her emotions were all mixed up. She had heard those sentences too often lately. "Lonny? I'm not going to kill myself if that's what you think."

That shut him up.

She sighed, continuing softer, „And I'm not loosing myself in a depression. I was, alright. But not anymore."

„Why should I believe you?" His voice was too bitter.

"Would I lie to you?" She made her tone sugary and light.

"Yes, you would."

„Alright", she rolled her eyes, „probably I would. But I don't."

When he didn't reply she sighed. "Ok, when I tell you why will you be good with me again?"

Lonny had a marked urban talent, he smelled gossip seven miles against the wind.

And sure as hell her bribery worked. "You've met someone!"

She laughed, delighted that they could still read each other. "Indeed, indeed."

"Spill!" He was all excited now.

"Well, he is 6 ft 10 1/2, all muscles, red hair, the deepest green eyes…"

"You're making him up!"

"Possessive, but still a gentleman, has quite a bit of dough even though he doesn't go flaunting it about…"

"You're inventing this on the spot!"

"Name is Mark..."

"Mark…" She could tell he was almost swooning by now.

"And he is definitely not gay, so you keep your fingers of him and your thoughts as well!"

"As if I ever…!" He applied so much whipped cream to this that Ann could almost see him lashing his eyes.

"Yeah, right. Course you would!"

They both chuckled, knowing right well that he would.

"So how did you meet him? Thought you were hardly ever leaving the house. Is he the plumber or something? That's so romantic!"

She shook her head. „You'll not learn it, will you?"

This particular workmen-fantasy seemed to be a common gay heritage though she hadn't heard of a single case where it came true. Gays usually preferred swooning over them to becoming plumbers themselves.

Lonny sighed exaggeratedly. "So no plumber, pity that. What's he doing then?"

She steeled herself with a deep breath. "He is selling bikes."

That brought a moment's silence. "As in bicycles?"

"No."

Lonny whistled. "You're sure that's the right kind of person for you to be around right now?"

"Yes, I am." If she told him about the Titan now, he would stand on her door-step tomorrow.

"He's a nice guy, Lonny. Treats me like a lady wants to be treated."

„So you in love with him?"

"I guess."

"Well, that means he's alright, probably."

She thought about it for a second, then decided to tell him, "He lost his wife a few years back."

"Oh shit."

"Yeah. He's kinda - intense." She made it sound half a question, not sure the word fit.

Lonny pondered the information for a while. She could actually hear him shake his head. "You don't do anything uncomplicated ever, do you?"

"How boring would that be?" She smiled.

"True." She heard him turn away from the phone, calling into the room behind him, "Hey Sam, wanna say hi to Ann?"

"Sam is there?"

"Yepp, just came in. Hold on a sec."

She heard some static crackle and then Sam's voice. "Hey girl, how are you?"

"Fine, and you?"

"Oh well, I moved back in with Lonny, what does that tell you?"

"Uh, sorry, Baby."

"Yeah, well, what shall I say? I just can't hold them…"

Ann vigorously shook her head. "Nah, they're just not good enough for you!" Sam was sweet and if anything maybe too kind.

"Thanks. I'll try to remember. And now I gotta give you back to Lonny. He's grabbing the receiver already. Plus I gotta get going if I don't want to be late for class."

"It was good hearing your voice again. Have fun at class!"

Ann wasn't sure Sam had heard the last part, cause Lonny was already back on the phone. "So, the longer I think about it, the surer I know what we have to do."

"Oh my, that doesn't sound good." She had learned to always be suspicious of Lonny's ideas.

"We gotta visit you, Bette and me. I'll see her later so we can agree on a weekend."

"Oh Lonny…"

"Sorry, Ann, no excuses. We're coming. We gotta check on that guy. And on you, of course. I'll call you to tell you when."

No sense in debating him. Sighing she nodded, "Alright. Ask and then we'll talk about it again."

"No talking about it, it's definite. We'll stand on your door-step until you let us in."


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48: Done thinking

She had barely stepped out of the shower when the phone rang again. This time it was Mark. He sounded slightly hesitant. "Hey! You done thinking? Cause I was wondering what you're plans for tonight were."

"Umm, actually, I wanted to try make my mother talk with me again. Might be a very short visit, though."

"Want me to come and explain about the bike?"

Ann raised her eye-brows. Was that concern or a way to say 'I'd spend time with you under which circumstances ever'? "Well, seeing how you instantly bonded with my father, I don't…"

"Connected. I prefer connected. It is more accurate."

Ann grinned. Connected he definitely had, if only in the plain sense of the word. "Be that as it might, I don't think it a good idea. I want to go to the cemetery afterwards. Not a place for a date, but if you want to come…"

"Which cemetery?"

"St. Francis."

„I know it. When shall I be there?"

She was astounded. „You don't have to do this, you know. I could always come by your place later."

"When shall I be there?"

She smiled. "Quarter past seven ok?"

"I'll be there." After a heartbeat's pause he added, "Ann? Did thinking bring any news?"

"Apart from an instantaneous outburst of religion, no."

"Pardon?"

"Not really important. Quarter past seven?"

„Quarter past seven."

When she had hung up Ann shook her head. Oh yeah, she could imagine Mark and her Mom quite well: 'Hey Mom, meet Mark. He sold me the Titan. And by the way, we're going steady." Most probably a minor heart-attack. A lethal one would need her to be pregnant without the legal marriage-bond. Well, no need to be concerned about that right now since nothing had happened in that department. And was that for the better or the worse? The relationship between Mark and her still had something fragile to it. So many things unspoken, so many emotions not sorted out.

Yet waiting worked only so long. Could it be that she was plain afraid?

She sighed. Thinking had indeed not brought any results in the field of untangling her emotions.


	49. Chapter 49

Chapter 49: Coffee

Work went by quickly. Surprisingly there were actual customers. Customers tended to make them happy. Not only cause every coin made it likelier that they would keep their jobs for another while but also because it made them feel somewhat useful. Jodie refused to go home after her shift, saying she didn't want to be alone today. That gave Ann the opportunity to go early, which she took without scruples.

She had her doubts about how much sense a visit to her mother made but she had no doubts that she should at least make the effort.

When she stood in front of her mother's flat, she rapped the door with the same code they always used. Nothing happened. She tried again. Silence. Sighing she began to bang against the door. „Mom? Mo-om!"

When no one answered, Ann started unlocking the door. She had no idea if she had keys to all the locks. There were new ones frequently. But after the last lock the door opened. Only a crack though, because the chain was locked.

"Mom! Open now!"

A tiny sullen voice came from the living-room. "I'm not talking to you!"

Ann sighed. Thank God, she seemed ok. „I'm gonna rip the chain out if you don't open, I swear."

That brought her mother to her feet. She could never stand damage to any of her security measures.

"Don't you dare get violent on me, missy!"

Ann heard the familiar click as her mother unlocked the chain. "I won't, Mom, just open the door."

Ann's mother wore a night-robe and a petulant expression. "What do you want?"

"Just see if everything was alright."

"I don't talk to you anymore." Her mother turned on her heels and went back to the living-room.

Sighing Ann closed the door before she followed her. "Mom, please. I swear my father had nothing to do with the bike."

"Hrmpf."

Sulking like a kid. Ann's patience got less by the minute. "Mom, I know you don't like me biking. I see why. But I'm careful. I came by bike today, I can show you the lady."

"I don't want to see the bike. I don't want to have you here." Sitting on the couch with her arms crossed her mother resembled a sulking teen to perfection.

"Want me to make some coffee?" Ann asked stoically.

"Don't use the tap water!"

"I won't." Sighing she went into the kitchen.

When the coffee was done, she brought it into the living-room and sat down opposite her mother. They sipped their coffee in silence for a while.

Then Ann asked in her mildest voice, "Mom, have you read the brochures I brought you last month?"

"Didn't have time." Her mother's voice was harsh.

„Please, just read them. This block is awful and it's you who always tells me the neighbours are stealing." She disdained invoking her mother's fantasies as arguments but she didn't see another choice.

"I'm not mental!"

"No one said you were, Mom. It would just be easier if someone nice came by every now and again to help you." The Care Apartments would be quite a bit more expensive than this place as well but it was worth the dough, she was sure. Not that Ann herself had been an expert on normal life-style lately but with her mom conditions had become frightening.

"You just want to lock me away!"

"No! And you'd know that if you read the brochures. It's an apartment house for God's sake, not an institution."

When her mom didn't answer, she sighed. „Think about it, will you?"

Then she took the cups and cleaned them in the sink. It was close to seven already.

Her mother hadn't moved when Ann came back to the living-room. "I'm gonna go to the cemetery now, visit Ally's grave. Want to come?"

Her mother quietly shook her head. „Not today, dear, not today."

"Alright. I'll tell her hi for you."


	50. Chapter 50

Chapter 50: At the graveyard

Back outside Ann let out a whoosh of air. This had gone better than she had thought. As far as her mother's standards went an unusual streak of sanity had shown today. Part of Ann's heart loved her mother dearly, but loving her was a lot easier when you were a few miles away.

Lost inside her thoughts she steered the Titan to the cemetery. She had gotten back into the flow of driving a bike easily. She didn't understand it but her mind saw no connection between the dreams at night and the actual driving of a bike. On the plus side that meant no problems with the bike, on the bad side it meant no end to the dreams.

She left the Titan in front of the entrance beside a Harley. So Mark was already there.

She found him in front of Ally's grave, squatting in front of the cross and staring into space.

"Hey", she walked up to him.

"Hi, darlin'." Standing easily he took her hand, giving her a small kiss before leaning back to study her. There was a certain reserve about him.

"So you introduced yourself already, huh?" He was looking for some sort of change in the way she saw him, she was sure.

"Sort of."

"I hope she hears. She'd like you. Ain't it true, Ally?" Ann kneeled down, as usual when she wanted to talk to her sister.

Mark looked at her questioningly, "Shall I give you some space?"

"No. I come here alone often enough."

He nodded and squatted down beside her, his guard finally beginning to ease.

She leaned into him, smiling as she asked her sister, "And, did I promise you too much?" She brushed some dirt away from the cross. "I visited Mom today", she shifted her attention to Mark, "she did let me in after all."

"Good, that."

„Grumbling, but she did. And the better so, there is no one but me." Ann leaned her head on Mark's shoulder, looking up into the sky. The cirrus clouds were torn into long narrow strips by the icy winds of the upper atmosphere. "She hasn't really been on this plane ever since Ally died. Not that sanity was one of her particular emphasized features before."

"Coping with the death of a child is…" He broke off.

She pulled his arms around her, the wordless acknowledgement of a pain she knew nothing about. "But she's got a second child and I am alive. I wish she could see that. We lost the same person, we should help each other instead of fighting."

"Grieve is always lonely", Mark drew her closer. "It was so when my parents died, it was so when Bekk died. Even if you lost the same person… you can share some pain but the heart of it will always be your own fight."

"Doesn't that scare you?"

"It does." He softly kissed her hair.

She tilted her head upwards, smiling at him. Her sadness mingled with her feelings for him. His mouth curved into an understanding smile. It was odd how much comfort you could find in someone who never knew the person you lost.

"When we were kids, my sister and I, we used to paint the life we wanted onto the streets with our crayons. Happy families. Rainbows. Apple trees and horses. We never played inside. Couldn't keep track of the rules. We always did something wrong. All their arguing usually ended in us getting confined to our rooms. But we'd sneak over to the other."

Which mostly ended in a disaster once they got caught. Ann had taken most of the trouble, keeping her sister safe the best she could. "God, she was so tiny. I couldn't let them take it out on her, could I?"

"Your parents hit you?"

Ann shook her head. "Not regularly or anything. My Mom just got – upset at times. When my father wouldn't come home another night."

"So she did hit you." He sounded angry.

"It was his fault. He should have been the husband and father he promised to be when he married her."

When Mark didn't answer she looked up at him again. The disagreement was clear on his face.

She shook her head, not wanting to dwell on the subject. "Why wasn't I able to keep her safe?" She winced at the whine in her voice, the desperation she felt much clearer than she wanted to show.

The compassion in his eyes almost hurt. He gently brushed a finger across her temple. She closed her eyes, following the soothing touch with a shiver. His lips found hers, covering them lightly. There was no pressure to them, just a continuation of the comfort, like a balm upon a wound. Something resonated deep inside her, calmed her, made her stronger. The security she felt had no match in her life up to this moment.

They only broke the kiss when they heard steps approaching. They were at a cemetery after all, no need to attract attention. Still, the steps stopped behind them.

Ann turned to look who it was. "Oh, Ms Monaghan!" She quickly rose to greet the female priest.

"Good to see you, Ann, and…?" The priest turned to Mark, who had risen to his feet as well.

"Mark, hi", he extended a hand, which the priest took warmly.

Ms Monaghan was a prototype priest and its opposite in one person. She was warm and affectionate, personally caring for all the lambs of her flock, but her Irish temper often flickered, matching her curly red hair that licked around her head like flames.

"So you are still visiting your sister's grave every other day?"

"I try."

"Well, I'm sure she understands if you don't manage every time", Ms Monaghan said with a smile in Mark's direction. „Have you decided on what to do with the house yet?"

„Yes. I'll keep it."

„So you're staying?"

„For the time being." Ann smiled at the priest.

„Whatever decision is right for you, Ann. He…", she gestured to the sky, "will show you the way. Have faith." Ms Monaghan's eyes twinkled as she took in the both of them, giving them her silent blessing.

"Take your time here. I'm going to have a little chat with Mrs Miller now, see if she did go to the doctor's tell him about her bad joints." Nodding a last time, she sat off towards an elderly woman who watered the flowers beside a grave that might have been fresh a decade ago.

"She's the priest?" Mark asked.

"Yes. She performed the service at the funeral. I always wonder why she still knows my name. It's not like I'd be showing up in church ever."

"Well, if you come here every other day…"

"True."

The green of his eyes surrounded by the red of his hair gave a perfect contrast to the torn skies. Irish. He had to be part Irish like the priest. There was something else though. A certain erectness maybe. A simpleness. The way he fit into the woods as well as the way his cheekbones curved.

She couldn't help herself, she just had to step closer to him, to feel him. She laid her hands on his chest, her eyes still tracing his face, looking for the subtle clues. Not completely Irish despite his fiery hair.

She could feel the movements of his muscles as he circled his arms around her waist, her thoughts drawn away from his roots and into the present. Her own little fire, the small but distinctive ache in her groin, threw a few sparks, just enough to remind her of its presence. It had hurt so much to acknowledge it in the beginning but now it was a constant companion. She brushed a strand of hair out of his face. Leaning down he placed a soft kiss on her lips.

Oh yes, she would definitely break anyone's nose who tried to touch him.


	51. Chapter 51

Chapter 51: Bikers

By now they were close to attracting an audience, with widows usually not fond of any open display of affection at the cemetery. The impulse to leave came naturally.

"So what do you want to do tonight?" Mark asked as they walked up to their bikes.

Involuntarily this made her smirk. Singed by the fire inside her that used every short lack of control to grow rapidly, Ann had a quite few ideas about that. However, she had no intent of telling him any of them.

Thoughtfully she stared at the bikes. There was one place where she had wanted to go to for a while. If you believed that wounds had to hurt to heal, it was a perfectly reasonable place, too. She took a deep breath. "Carla's. I want to go to Carla's."

Mark just nodded. "Bit of a tour is a good idea. Will give you a better feeling for the Titan."

Without a reply, she mounted.

She took the lead, driving smoothly though she was a long shot from calm. At least Carla's momentarily pushed all thoughts of naughtiness into the back recesses of her mind. She hadn't been to Carla's for almost two years. Ally had never felt up to any kind of company. Ann sighed. At least there wouldn't be too much of a crowd on a Monday.

Strange, she had never before been to Carla's with a guy. Had never left with one, either, even though a lot of steam was worked up in that pub. Play, have fun, leave early, that had been her rule. But things had changed. Her stomach fluttered whenever she thought about being alone with Mark. No matter how well she behaved, she couldn't shut off her mind's graphic department.

By now she had reached the Interstate. With a quick check in the mirror she made sure he was following before she accelerated. The rush of speed took her off guard. She hadn't been driving so fast in years. The wind ripped at her jacket and trousers, trying to draw her off the bike or possibly undress her. She changed lane, leaving the cars behind her. She genuinely enjoyed the wild freedom of the ride, so different when you were on a bike driving yourself.

But it was only a few exits until they had to get off the Interstate again. Feeling a pang of regret she slowed. As soon as they were on the country road Mark took over, knowing his way around better than she did. Carla's was quite a bit off the main routes but lay at the scenic route used by a lot of bikers who went on tour for pleasure rather than for getting from one place to another.

Mark gracefully swung into the parking lot in front of the pub, instantly whirling up a cloud of dust. So they had still not come around to paving the place. Betting when Carla's promises about that would come true was a running joke among the guests.

She killed the motor after stopping beside Mark. There were quite a few bikes in the lot, so maybe there was a crowd even on Monday.

"Ready to go?" Mark looked at her questioningly, helmet and gloves already tucked away in the saddle-bag.

She hurriedly took off her helmet, packing it away. "Yeah, ready."

Though really, she wasn't. She wanted to go back to the Interstate and drive straight on until she had to stop from exhaustion or lack of gas. But now that they had come here she couldn't quite say that, could she?

She put her hands into the back-pockets of her jeans and followed him.

The interior of the pub was dark and smoky. Music blared from the juke-box. It smelled of stale beer and the sharp odour of sweat. Carla was behind the bar. She looked up from cleaning the glasses to see who the newcomers were.

Mark strode towards her. He radiated power, daring people to cross his path the wrong way. Biker's attitude, she guessed.

"Taker! What a pleasure to see you!" Carla greeted him.

"Haven't been around for a while. How's Mandy?" Mark answered, his smile instantly friendly.

„Fine. She's in the back. The usual?"

„Two, please."

Carla turned her gaze to Ann as if she hadn't noticed her before. She looked blank for a second but then studied her intently. "You're welcome", she told Mark absentmindedly and put two cans in front of him onto the bar before her attention returned to Ann. "You've been here before."

It was not a question. Ann nodded. „It's been a while, though. A few years."

"Yes, I remember. Always here with a dark one, sexy girl, bit on the wild side."

"Yes, that would be her." Ann was more surprised than anything else.

Nonetheless Mark abruptly took the cans in one hand and offered her the other. "Let's get us a seat." He nodded at Carla, on the brink of rudeness, then led Ann to a table in the far corner of the room, away from the other patrons. She could feel a few stares at their backs on the way there. She was sure they did not mean her.

When she opened her can she saw that it was beer but the non-alcoholic kind. She drank in a long gulp. Her throat felt dusty.

There seemed to be a few heated discussions going on now. Furtively whispered though or at least not loud enough to hear over the music. Every now and then someone turned to stare at them. Mark took no notice. Sipping his beer slowly he leaned back in his chair, scanning the room apparently unconcerned.

The patrons were the usual crowd. A bit gruffer than on a weekend maybe. She was quick in assigning them to their categories. The tourists, the needy, the drunkards, the funny, the crazy, the lonely, the harmless. If you wanted to play you had to know who would take loosing like a good sport. A miscalculation could be risky if the guy weighed a hundred pounds more than you. This had been her job, she'd decide which table they'd join. Ally had taken over then, doing the practical chatting up. A foolish game it seemed now. Still she knew exactly whom she would have chosen. Two youngsters, college age, too young for them of course, but they seemed pleasant enough. Giving them a feeling of adventure, of everything was possible, in return for a few drinks seemed like a fair trade. Carla wasn't particular fond of games like that, probably having had to sort out one brawl too much arisen from miscalculations, but she tolerated it with a shake of her head as long as people paid for what they drank.

Ann became aware that Mark was following her gaze to the college boys with a raised eye-brow. She shook her head. What was there to say apart from 'we were young and dumb'?

Carla came over, sitting herself down with a sigh. "My feet kill me." She took a sip from the bottle she had brought with her. "So how's the parlour doing?"

"Get's along."

„I send whoever asks me for a good shop but I reckon quite a few more would actually make the trip if I was allowed to tell them you're the owner."

Mark just treated her with a long silent look.

"Alright, alright, no advertisement then." Carla shook her head. "But…"

"No", Mark spoke evenly but determined, "does it make my bikes any better? Any safer? No. So what kind of argument is it?"

„A brand-name sells", Carla shrugged.

"I don't intend to sell myself", Mark replied dryly.

"I give up, you're stubborn as a mule." Holding her hands up in defeat Carla joined the grin.

Then one of the patrons called her, so she stood up and went over to the other table.

"They all know you, don't they?" Ann asked him.

"Sometimes I think the doom of my shop is that it's most successful merchandise would be autographs." He grimaced jokingly.

"Does that happen often? That people come for autographs?"

"Thank God no. I tried to make sure that the people knowing about the parlour refrain from posting it on the web. It's only a matter of time though, I guess. But I have the hope that even the most addicted fans see no more than some worn-out old bloke in me by now."

"You think I'm falling for such plump fishing for compliments?"

"It was worth the try." He grinned before changing the topic, "So, did Carla's change since you last were here?"

"Nah, Carla's didn't."

"But?"

Ann's gaze wandered to the college boys. "I did."

Mark followed her gaze with a questioning look.

She focused on him again. "The games have no meaning anymore."

Feeling uncomfortable with the heaviness following her words she took a quick sip of her beer and stood up. "Excuse me for a minute."

She searched her way through the tables to the rest-room. Now gazes were following her. She was quite certain that no one would dare to chat her up today, though.

But when she stood in the rest-room a few minutes later, washing her hands, she found out that she was mistaken. The plump brunette biker who had come in after her eyed her nervously for a minute before gathering her courage. "Excuse me, could you answer me a question?"

Ann hadn't really given her any attention up to that point. Now she looked her up and down. A little older than herself probably, though judging from the deep lines in her face the worse life-style by far. "Depends", she finally answered.

"The guy at your table, he is the Undertaker, isn't he?" Her voice was quite agitated.

Something about her tone raised Ann's hackles. "Not what I call him."

"Oh my God! I knew it! I've been so into him when I was younger! Well, obviously he was younger then, too", she snickered.

"I got to go", Ann determinedly steered towards the door.

"No, wait", the biker held her at her sleeve but let go promptly, when Ann gave her a Look.

"You think, you think I could ask him for an autograph?"

Ann turned towards her, exaggerating her pause for thinking. "You can always ask. Never mind his temper."

With that and a shrug she left. Obviously he was younger then, too! How dared she!

Still grumbling Ann made her way back to their table only to find that Mark had female company. The woman had dark, close-cropped hair and was lean and muscular. There was something vaguely familiar about her.

Mark and the woman turned around when she approached. "Hi", she greeted them while reclaiming her seat.

"Good taste you got, Taker", the woman said before turning to Ann, "I'm Mandy by the way."

Mandy, alright, that's why she had known her. "Ann", she answered.

„I know. Bought a Titan, huh? Good taste there as well."

Ann smiled. "I like the lady."

"Haven't you been here with a Titan a few years back as well?"

When Ann didn't answer instantly, Mandy added, "I remember people by their bikes, it's a job trademark I guess."

"You stick with the things you love, don't you?" Mark softly said.

Mandy smirked. "Guess that explains why I'm still working at this crappy place."

Ann smiled. She appreciated what Mark was trying to do here though it wasn't really necessary. She was used to coping with her issues herself.

"So will you two come by more often now?"

"May well be", Mark answered, smiling at Ann.


	52. Chapter 52

Chapter 52: Nearing 17

The brunette biker didn't dare ask for an autograph as Ann noted with some satisfaction. Instead rumours seemed to be spreading from her table. No doubt telling the other patrons that 'Taker' was better not to be approached. She smirked. What an innocent little bitch she could be. Non-spoken threats were always the best.

Mark watched her with some puzzlement. They had been quiet since Mandy left to get back to the kitchen.

Suddenly a thought popped into Ann's mind. "Why have you moved here?" She assumed he had moved after Rebekka's death. She couldn't quite picture them together in his small house.

"Cause here's like home." As usual he took her change of subject with equanimity.

"But you haven't been born here?"

"Oh no. I had no intentions of actually getting close to my relatives."

"Why?"

He just sighed, so she answered the question herself, "You wanted to get away from everyone, alright. So what's with Glen and Keira?"

"They moved here after me."

"They moved to our shitty town for you? Gosh, they have to love you."

He grinned. "Weren't you born here?"

"Do I have to be patriotic cause of that?"

"Course you do."

"Nah, I know the place, I have a right to scorn."

He squeezed her hand lightly. "So why are you staying?"

Though he kept his tone smooth, it was easy to read him. Ann smiled. She had no intentions of letting the subject become too serious. Her rollercoaster-emotions were bad enough as they were. She leaned closer, using her best seductive voice. "Cause I love - my job at the mall."

Visibly repressing a grin he brought his face inches in front of hers. "That all, darlin'?"

Her smile was smothered by the velvety depth of his voice sending a shiver down her spine. Apparently, she was easy to read as well.

Involuntarily her eyes dropped to his mouth, scooting up again after only a heart-beat but it was enough to make her lick her lips.

"This is so not working." She grumbled under her breath. A frown appeared on his forehead.

That made her smile, a reassuring smile it was intended to be but it turned out edgy and for a second she felt almost shy. "The public places. The behaving. It's not working."

The deep line between his eyes disappeared, replaced by a lot of small wrinkles around his eyes. He bent close enough to whisper in her ear. "For me it ain't, either."

A wave of heat rolled down her body kindling the fire in her as surely as a match and a can of gas would kindle dry wood. If just his breath alongside her neck had that much of an effect she wasn't sure how she should live through the actual touch. She had no objections to trying it out though. "So what shall we do about this?"

She felt him shudder ever so slightly as her words moved the fine hairs around his ear.

Holding her hands tight he scooped his chair closer, his legs now touching hers. "I have quite a few ideas about that."

She pulled her hands out of his grip, wrapping them around his neck. With one smooth gesture he clutched her at the hips and lifted her onto his lap.

"Carla will throw us out for each and every of your ideas." His body warmth already seeped through the double layer of clothes and she could feel his crotch more clearly than was good for morale and decency.

"Probably." He inhaled deeply, catching her scent as he buried his face in her hair.

Seeing the soft flesh of his ear so delicately in front of her, she softly started nibbling along its edges. He quietly groaned but she couldn't figure out if it was a reaction to her small bites or her involuntarily moving her hips in the process.

His hands moved down a little further, softly massaging her lower back, while his lips nuzzled her neck. She already felt his body tensing as she shifted her weight to kiss him.

Ravishingly he deepened the kiss as soon as her lips touched his. Her intestines went to jelly and she felt it was all she could do to hold herself upright. Instantly his hands were up to her back, supporting her. She steadied her grip on his neck, absorbing his heat as his mouth devoured her. It truly felt like the eruption of a volcano, one minute he had been a fast mountain, the next a ravishing flood of molten heat. All she managed to do was adapting to his moves, skirting along his desire. His crotch was strained now, arousal clear in every of his movements.

"You're nearing NC-17 pretty quickly. I'd like to make the customers pay for it, but I can't. This is a family-friendly environment. At least, theoretically it is. So as much as I hate it, I really have to advise you to get a room."

They both jerked at the sound of Carla's voice. It needed a moment to restrain the kiss though. It had developed a life of its own. When it finally broke, Ann sagged limply against Mark's chest. Not bothering to turn around to Carla she whispered in his ear, "See, I told you."

He just held her tighter, nodding curtly to Carla.

"I think we should go home", Ann added, her lips still no more than a finger's width away from his ear. The way they were on fire she was sure if she looked into a mirror she would see burn-marks.

"Not quite now, darlin'. At least not if you don't want to attract even more of an audience." A little less smoothly then before he put her back onto her chair.

She could see his point, so she didn't even bother to answer. But she quickly scanned the room. Indeed, they had drawn an audience. The college-boys were staring at them wide-eyed. The brunette biker seemed a bit shocked, too. By the way she rapidly whispered to her neighbour she was telling her something bitchy.

"Oh come on, baby, lay off. Enjoy the show! Don't you remember when we were that age?" Mandy joined Carla, who was still standing behind them, hands on her hips and shaking her head.

Now Carla gave her partner a long look. "You know, technically, I am Taker's age."

This made Mandy smirk. "Relationship-age, I meant strictly relationship-age." She winked at them, grimacing as in saying: Saved just in time.

"Yeah, I bet you did", Carla replied dryly.

Mark took a deep gulp of his beer before he turned to Carla and Mandy. "Look, Ladies, we'll be good now, so we don't need a lecture."

"Yeah, don't be so hard on them, give them a little space!" Mandy backed him up, laughter quivering at the edge of her words.

With a pointed look to Mark's still strained crotch Carla retorted, "Right, no more hardness needed."

That made Mandy roar with laughter. She elbowed her partner in the ribs and then took her hand, leading her away.

Ann shook her head. She had recovered enough to laugh at the joke. Still, she felt a bit of a blush come on at Carla's frankness. Of course, Mark instantly noticed, grinning at her.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Well, really embarrassing would have been if they hadn't liked the show."

Mark chuckled. She could virtually see how he shook off the tension in his body. "They would be plain dumb, if they didn't."

She smirked and gave him a sexy smile, knowing full well he had not quite regained all control over his body.

He mirrored her smirk. "Glad you enjoy the show as well, darlin'."


	53. Chapter 53

Chapter 53: Night-time

A little later they were on their way back to Mark's place. Ann followed the Harley in a respectful distance. She smirked. Respectful distance had been the fate of their last half an hour at Carla's as well. Never give more than one show a night. So they had calmed themselves by talking about bikes in general and about how much they both loved driving at night. Ann of course hadn't done this in a while, so they decided to take the long way home, avoid the highways and enjoy the night. And here she was now, following Mark's lead as the Harley in front of her steadily ate up the miles.

The night wasn't dark really, the moon was up and apart from the occasional strip of high altitude clouds the sky was clear. Every now and then they crossed a ditch where mist already started to build up heavily. The roaring of the bikes diminished then, an eerie sound in a silver surrounding. Sometimes, when a lake was near, the mists would get so thick that she couldn't make out Mark in front of her. With the sound of the two bikes mixing she couldn't discern if he was still there and her heart anxiously skipped a beat. But when the night became clear again, he always was there, a broad shadow on a huge bike.

There was never mist in her nightmares but something about the landscape reminded her of them. Frowning she steered a little to the left and back to her lane, just to make sure the bike was still obeying her will. She resisted the urge to accelerate to be a bit closer to him. The night beyond the roar of the bikes seemed very quiet. Like they were the only living creatures on earth. She shook her head. This ride just made her nerves stand on edge. Searching for a fix-point in the real world she finally concentrated on Mark's back. She relaxed a little. He kept a steady pace and the street was straight.

Very straight. Did they build streets this straight? She wanted to swallow but her throat was suddenly dry while her palms began to sweat. Before she knew it she didn't have to fight the urge to accelerate anymore – now she fought the urge to brake. Her heart-rate increased by the second. This was not good. Damn it, why could you never wipe the sweat of your palms when you wanted to? She desperately fixed her eyes on Mark. There he was, safe as a house, just in front of her.

"Keep thinking of him, not of the nightmares. You're awake, Ann, everything's fine", she reassured herself.

But it seemed her mind had ideas of its own. A Titan on a perfectly straight street. But no, there was no tree, she just had to follow the Harley, it was easy as that. Why then did she have to force herself to take even breaths?

She saw the valley coming as a white wall of humidity. Without thought she just continued on, all concentration needed for the basic functioning of her body. Her mind watched him passing into the white with wide-eyed horror. She forced back the scream that manifested itself in her throat but it was too late. She lost control of herself the moment she didn't see him anymore.

A second later she lost the control over her bike as well.

The Titan broke out to the right, like a mare gone wild. She hit the brakes, just to remember a heartbeat later that with a bike fishtailing like this it was better to accelerate to stabilize it. With a curse she tried to do just that. The bike jolted – and she found herself tumbling over the mud of the field beside the street, finally landing flat on her back.

The new situation needed a minute to register.

The accident had had nothing of the drama her dreams held. She had been on the bike the one second and the next she lay were she was now. Alright. No reason to worry. There wasn't any serious damage. Or was there? Cautiously she tried moving the fingers of her right hand. Yep, everything in place. That meant the arm had to be there as well. Left hand – she groaned. The fingers were in place, alright, but her arm hurt like hell. Instinctively she pressed it to her side, trying not to bend any joints in the process. Just on with the check-up as quick as possible. Legs? Feet? She wriggled her toes carefully, then tried to shift so she could sit up. Ouch. That hurt.

And something was strange. She couldn't quite fathom it. It was not her legs, they seemed to work well enough considering. Sitting up was still out of question though. Now that no major body-parts seemed missing her lungs were on fire. The air had been knocked out of her during the fall and they protested.

She let her head sink back to the ground. With her eyes closed she concentrated on breathing. Alright, calm now, she could do this. She gritted her teeth against the pain, taking one breath at a time.

Then it hit her. The silence. Should it be silent? She was sure there had been noise only a second before.

Struggling against the overwhelming wish to just stay put she opened her eyes. There were grey streaks of fog above her. The stars shone through dimly. Her beautiful stars. Cassiopeia should be visible now. Why would her lungs not stop burning?

With an effort she turned her head to the side. The change of the scenery with her movement had an underwater feel to it. Everything was slightly off and changed a bit too slow. There was a bright light over there. She couldn't make out its source. Just a real bright light. And a silhouette. A huge black shadow right in front of it. Walking towards her. Getting bigger. Coming to get her.

Hell, were had that thought come from? The light made her eyes hurt. Coming to get her. Yeah, coming to get her.

So was this what it felt like? She followed the shadow with her eyes for another heart-beat before she couldn't keep them open any longer. Her pain diminished as her head grew dizzy. This was far less frightening than she had expected. With a quiet sigh like a rustle of dry leaves in a far away wood the world turned to black velvet.


	54. Chapter 54

Author's note: I love this story and I want to continue it much faster, I swear I do. But being a married woman and everything now, I'm a bit preoccupied with the strange thing they call "real life". Pretty scary, huh? Anyway, I hope y'all still enjoy the story!

---

Chapter 54: A ghost in the mists

"Darlin', don't do this to me. Come on, Ann, you have ta wake up!"

There was something heart-breaking about the feverish pleading. Like a scream turned inward it was much too quiet. She moaned when a sharp pain ran through her body.

"Come on, baby, open your eyes!"

Did that voice mean her? It seemed familiar, too.

"Ann, please, you have ta!"

And it was damn persistent. With an effort she opened her eyes. Her lids were heavier than lead. A blotchy black figure turned into a man. She needed a second to put a name to him. Since when did her brain work so slow? "Mark."

Why were they outside? She was shivering. The ground was cold.

"… gotta stay awake! Darlin'? Stay with me! The ambulance is on its way."

His fingers were hot on her cheek. Pushing softly he made her look at him. She tried to focus on his face. Something was seriously wrong. He looked so spooked. But then that might just be the weird lighting.

When she tried to sit up he held her down. "Shh, darlin', no. Wait 'til the ambulance is here."

His voice was so not calm. If she'd believe in ghosts she'd say he had seen one. She started to answer that everything was alright but found that drawing a deep breath was a bad idea. She cringed with the sudden pain. Then a word he had said caught up with her mind. "What ambulance?"

"You had an accident, remember?"

That seemed to ring a bell. She thought about it. Strange, "There's no tree."

He didn't answer to that, just asked, "Can you move your legs?"

An ambulance? Wait! "No hospital. I don't…" She tried to sit up again. If they wanted to take her to a hospital she had to get away.

She actually managed to get halfway up before her strength left her. Mark caught her before she could fall back down.

She had not used her left arm while trying to sit up and now she could see why. Her arm was bound to her side with a strip of cloth. Also there seemed to be a large gash in her jacket beneath an impromptu bandage of the same material. What the hell?

She felt herself being lowered back to the ground. "No!" There was no force behind the word but the movement stopped. "Ground's so cold."

Mark nodded and shuffled around so he would support her weight while she could at least half-sit. He swept up his jacket that had been used as a cushion for her head and carefully put it around her like a blanket. Her helmet lay disregarded to the side.

Sitting up cleared her brain a little. The pain that had been everywhere retreated mainly to her chest and arm.

She felt him shaking. Odd. "Want your jacket back?"

"What?"

"You're freezing."

"No, darlin', I'm not. Are you hurting?"

What a dumb question. Then she understood that he meant the sitting position. "No, it's fine."

Hadn't there been a tree? She was sure there had been one. Yet there was nothing but bare soil around them. "Where's the tree?"

"There's no tree, Ann. The tree's from your dreams."

Why did he shake so hard? "You should really put your jacket on." The sound of a car got her attention. It slowed as it approached. The ambulance. "Send them away, Mark, please."

"No, darlin', it's ok. Don't worry."

Yeah, as if she'd believe anyone with a voice shaking like this. But struggling did no good. With only one arm and fire in her lungs whenever she moved getting up on her own was out of question. When she tried anyway the pain brought tears to her eyes. She just ended up breathless and being held very close by Mark.

She watched two paramedics jump out of the ambulance and make their way over to them. Her head grew dizzy again from the pure dread of what was to come. She closed her eyes and let herself sink back into the realms of half-consciousness. If she could do nothing against it, she wanted at least nothing to do with it.

"What happened?" She felt the medic beside her, starting to do whatever it is medics do for a first check-up, but it was a remote feeling.

"She had an accident", Mark answered, "her bike went off the road. I think she broke her left arm and she seemed to have some trouble breathing."

Like he had seen a ghost. A ghost in the mists. Had Ally told her the story?

"Miss, can you hear me? What's your name?"

Yes, it must have been Ally.

"Was she conscious when you found her?"

"Yes. Or rather no. But she was talking to me a minute ago."

_The beauty of the fog lady never diminishes._ What was her name yet? Did she even have one?

"Miss, can you hear me?"

"Her name is Ann."

Why was his tone so frantic? The mists never turned into women in reality. That was just fairy-tales. There was no need to be frantic.

"Did you dress that wound?"

Though in all honesty she'd like to see her, the beautiful white fog lady.

"Yes."

She tuned the men out. They seemed to do well without her.

Was the fog lady even a real ghost? She had forgotten. Some kind of nature spirit? A washer-woman who had drowned in the river?

Suddenly there was movement. The renewed pain in her chest sucked her mind back into her body. Suddenly she was freezing cold again and lying down. "No!"

Her automatic panic mode kicked in. It told her, "run", so she tried to build up the momentum to get to her feet by rolling to her side. Six hands instantly grabbed her, pushing her down. "No!" There was nothing else she could do, so she screamed. It was a strangely weak sound, her lungs not allowing the power necessary for a real scream.

"… hospital … died after an accident…" Snatches of sentences reached her ear.

"Mark", she whimpered.

"…her hand! Miss? I'm giving you a shot so you will calm down. It won't hurt."

Big hands cupped her good right hand. She clasped his fingers hard. "Don't leave me."

There was a short stab as the injection found her vein. The velvety void came back. She embraced it in the knowledge that she had no choice.


	55. Chapter 55

Chapter 55: Bright white

The ceiling was bright white. A white of the sort you instantly hated. The whole room was lit much too brightly. It hurt the eyes. Her left arm was unusually heavy. She looked down. It was in a splint. And she wore a hospital-gown. Damn. She sighed. There was the distinctive feeling of a tape bandage around her chest. Summing up those facts she concluded it had not been a dream. She had half hoped it was, though the dull ache she had woken up to had already suggested otherwise.

Looking around the room she found it much more spacious than she had expected. There were no wiry bleeping things attached to her which relieved her a lot. She was on a drip, though. There was no one else in the room. Did you even get single rooms in a hospital? The world outside the window was black, the only thing to be seen her own reflection. She cringed. The bruises in her face would without doubt get that nice purplish-black shade her ankle had been only a few days before. She cautiously tried to touch the bruise on her forehead when she saw the door open in her window-mirror.

It was Keira of all people who came in. She held a paper cup in her hand and looked decidedly beat. She went to the chairs beside a small table on the far side of the room, not even noticing Ann was following her with her eyes. She picked up a book from the table, opening it, but she just stared into it, never reading a line as far as Ann could tell. She watched her for a while. Outside the shadows were getting brighter. So it was close to morning time. And Keira was dangerously close to falling over now.

"Keira? What are you doing here?" Her voice was hoarse and it were not the very nicest words to say but she couldn't think of anything else.

Keira jumped. "Oh my God, you startled me. You're awake!" Putting her book and cup to the side she came over to Ann's bed.

"Umm, yeah."

"Well, that's good news finally." Keira smiled, her eyes tired but relieved. With a slightly helpless gesture she pointed to the door. "Guess, I'd better get a nurse or someone, tell them you woke up."

Keira was halfway out of the room before Ann could react. "Where is Mark?"

"Umm", Keira turned and walked a few steps back, "they had to send him outside. He was disturbing routines or something. That's why he called me. So you wouldn't be alone when you woke up." She smiled uneasily. "I'll better go get someone."

Ann frowned as she watched Keira leave the room. That was some odd information. But calling a nurse was a good idea. Ann wanted to get out of this place as fast as possible. Now how did these hospital beds work again? She pressed a few buttons until the bed was in a satisfactory sitting-position. Easy so far. Now for the difficult part. Dropping her legs over the edge of the bed she tried for self-supported sitting. Yes, that worked. If with some pain. So, what about standing up then?

"Oh no, back into bed, pronto!"

Before she knew it, Ann was obeying the command. Never mess with the nurses.

The nurse was middle-aged and unbelievably peppery for the early time of the day. A doctor had entered the room behind her. Some intern? He was young.

"Hi, I'm Dr Petersen. How are you?"

Without waiting for her reply he started his check-up procedures, testing if her eyes followed a light.

"I'm fine. Apart from an apparently broken arm and a lot of tape on my chest. So what about that and when can I leave?"

The doctor chuckled. "One thing after the other. Yes, your forearm is broken. Both ulna and radius to be precise. The bandage on your rib-cage serves mostly as a stabiliser. You fractured two ribs, but your lung was not perforated. It will hurt for a while and you will need some pain medication but it is not overly serious. How many fingers do you see?"

She sighed. "Five on your hand, two that you hold up. So nothing serious means I can go home, right?"

"No." When he saw the look on her face he softened his words, "Not right now at least. I want to keep you under surveillance for 24 hours. Just to be sure."

"Look, I feel alright. Well, bruised obviously, but I don't think you missed any brain damage or something. I want out of here."

"In 24 hours. And you will need some help then. Is there anyone who can take care of you? Your friend maybe?"

"I guess so."

"Well, I'll send her back in then."

Her? „No! Stop! I want to see Mark."

„Mark? Who is Mark?"

The nurse sprang to the doctor's assistance. „The very tall muscular gentleman who..."

"Oh, that gentleman! Well, I fear we sent him home, didn't we?"

The nurse fidgeted. "Actually, he has been waiting outside the building."

Dr Petersen thought about this for a second before he decided with a shake of his head, "Call him in. Make sure he doesn't damage anyone." With that, he nodded in Ann's direction and went out, the nurse on his heels.

Damage anyone? Ann raised her eyebrows. She was fairly sure that the nice single room was Mark's doing, so what the hell was the doctor talking about?

When the door opened again to admit Keira, consequently that was her first question. "What did Mark do?"

Keira came to her side. "I told him you were awake. He is still debating the security personal. They aren't overly keen on admitting him in again."

"What the hell did he do?"

"Actually, I have no idea. He wouldn't tell me."

There were heavy black rings under Keira's eyes. Suddenly Ann had a suspicion that they had not so much to do with the sleep Keira had lost. "Yeah, well, the doctor said the nurse should call Mark in. Was that a good idea?"

Keira sighed. "I don't know. He just freaks in hospitals."

"So do I. Ever since my sister died." Ann repressed the memories of her bike going out of control that wanted to quell up. Dealing with that had to come later. Now, she needed to keep her wits together to get out of this place. She started her sentence anew. "I don't do hospitals as a rule. The smell alone is enough to make me sick."

"Me, too. I've spent more nights waiting in hospitals than I can count." Though she smiled a half-smile Keira looked even more worn than before.

But before Ann had a chance to think about this comment, there was a knock on the door.

Ann's heart skipped a beat and her eyes suddenly were glued to the door. It had to be him. It had to.

And it was. The moment she caught sight of his huge shape in the door-way she breathed a sigh of relief. A weight that had pulled her down without her ever realizing it had been taken off her breast.

"Mark." The word came out choked. Against her will tears had begun to trickle down her face.

"Ann."

He rushed to her side, pulling her into an awkward embrace, not to hurt her accidentally.

She closed her eyes, her tears still falling, and pressed her face into his chest, while he bent down, dropping kisses on her head.

He was there. Things would be good again. He was there.

"I didn't mean to leave you."

Reading her thoughts, was he? Smiling through her tears she looked up.

The shock travelled down her spine and settled in her stomach. His eyes were red and a steady stream of liquid escaped them. He was crying.

"Oh, baby, no." She used her good hand to wipe away the tears from his face. "There's no need for tears." Her own tears somewhat belied her words but she desperately wanted to comfort him. Seeing men cry was never easy but with him it broke her heart.


	56. Chapter 56

Chapter 56: Is all

He buried his face in her hair, obviously not comfortable with her seeing his tears. She let him be, just leaned into him, stroking his back as good as possible with the hand she could use.

After a while the position became painful and she straightened away from him. „Mark? What was the doctor talking about when he said they had to send you outside?"

Rubbing a hand over his eyes to wipe off the last remnants of the unwanted tears Mark sat down beside her on the bed. "I may have threatened a few people when you didn't wake up."

His shoulders were slumped and 'haggard' was the word that came to Ann's mind. Not a word she usually attributed to him.

"The good nurse gave me a double dose of some tranquilizer while I waited outside. Not enough to knock me out, just enough to calm me down."

"Did it work?"

"I guess."

„I want out of here. What state are my clothes in?"

He raised an eye-brow at her sudden matter-of-fact tone.

She nodded. "I thought so. I need some clothes from home then. Could you go fetch them?"

"Sure."

"Good. That is – can you even drive if they gave you tranquilizers?"

„I'll ask. I'm sure Keira will drive if I can't."

The mentioning of Keira made Ann look around. But Keira was not there. "Where is she anyway?"

Mark looked around, too. "I don't know. She gave us some privacy I guess."

Ann nodded. Her thoughts turned back to the matter at hand. "Doc said he wants to keep me under surveillance but I'm sure he'll let me out without too much trouble if I can convince him that someone is watching over me."

"Don't you think it's better to follow the doctor's orders?"

"Oh, I will. At home. I'm going to feel much better under my own surveillance. If I'm turning into a carrot cause he missed some rock stuck in my brain I'm pretty sure I'll be the first to notice."

That didn't even get a smile from Mark, but then she had not really expected it to.

"Look, Mark, I thought you'd be the first to understand what it is about hospitals. I just need to get out of here."

His face was concerned but he nodded.

"You feeling better?" she cautiously asked him.

"How about you?"

So he didn't. Well, another thing she had expected. "I'll feel better once I get home. Think I was pretty lucky. I broke a bone or two in my life. It always heals."

That got her a worn smile. She remembered that he probably had broken more bones than she could name.

"See, you know I'm right. It always heals." She made it sound cheery.

Absentmindedly stroking a strand of hair out of his face he looked at her for a long time. "You scared the hell out of me, Ann."

"I'm sorry."

"No. It's not your fault. It was the dreams, right? You kept talking about a tree. I shouldn't have let you drive at night."

"Oh stop it, will you!" She took his hand, squeezing it for emphasize. "You have no right to tell me whether or not to drive at night. So no need to chastise yourself about it." The sudden disappearance of his back in a wall of white. The heavy silence just beyond the roar of the bikes. She shook her head to get rid off the thoughts. "Yes, it was the dreams. They didn't interfere with actual biking before. I took that for granted when I should have been more careful."

His eyes had the same faraway look to them that hers probably had had a minute before.

"What is it?" She asked as softly as possible.

"When I saw you lying there…" He looked as spooked as she remembered from when she had woken up after the accident. Then suddenly he snapped out of it and focused on her, his voice back to normal. "You scared the hell out of me is all."

She bit her lip. She had an idea what had been going through his mind and she wasn't sure she wanted to hear about it right now. "Mark? Let's get me out of here first, ok? My house-keys must be somewhere in my jacket. I need something loose-fitting to wear. Think you can manage to find me something?"

He stood up and went over to the table. Unnoticed by her, her clothes had been stacked onto the second chair. He found the keys. "I'll be back as quickly as possible."

"Thanks."

When he was out of the room she let her head sink back into the cushions.


	57. Chapter 57

Chapter 57: Going home

Only a minute later Keira came in. For a change she looked more worried than tired. Ann felt guilt nagging at her. After all, Keira would be lying in her bed sleeping peacefully right now if it wouldn't be for her.

"So they let him drive, huh?"

"Yeah, they did." Keira brought a chair over and settled herself beside Ann.

"You know, you look very tired. I think I'll manage to wait for him, so if you want you can go home sleep."

Keira shook her head. "I promised I'd keep you company until he's back. And I intend to do that."

Ann nodded. It was good not to be alone, kept her sane until she could leave this damn bed. And really, she wouldn't have known anyone to call. Her mother? Oh god, telling her mother about this was going to be like facing the devil himself. Maybe she could avoid telling her, make up some other reason for her broken arm? That left the Angels. One of them would probably have come, but…

"I haven't ever seen him crying."

"What?" Keira had shaken her out of her thoughts.

"I know all about the violence, about the threats and the random thrashing of things. I've never seen him cry."

Ann was at a loss for words. Keira had not shown any signs of opening her heart until this very second. "You're scared", Ann stated, rather replying to the vibes she got than to what Keira had said.

"We all learned how to deal with his rage. I'm not sure we can deal with his pain."

Suddenly Ann felt a warmth towards Keira that had eluded her until now. "Of course you can. You love him."

"Do you?"

Such a simple question, such a myriad of consequences. She knew him for less than a fortnight. "I do."

Keira nodded. „You'll have to. Him working through his grieve won't be a pretty sight."

"You knew it had to happen one day. With or without me."

Keira watched her motionless. Suddenly a small smile played along her lips. "You got guts, Ann. I like that. I for my part am plain terrified."

"Maybe not knowing him very long works to my advantage here." Ann shrugged.

Keira grinned at the little joke.

Then they both fell silent. It was a strange feeling. They had reached an understanding with only a few sentences that made them almost friends.

After a long hour Mark returned. He was composed now, his look impenetrable. He had brought her some training trousers and a very large sweater. He hadn't forgotten to bring a pair of easy to slip in shoes either.

Keira had stood up from the bed as soon as he had entered. She stood a little lost to the side, watching them out of red-rimmed eyes.

"You better go home before you fall over", Ann softly told her. "Thank you for being here. We'll manage now I think."

Keira looked at Mark, who nodded: "Thanks, Keir."

"Alright then, I'll go. I'll call you tomorrow." She hugged Mark but looked at Ann, obviously torn between wanting to help more and relieved to get out of the hospital.

"Just go, we'll talk tomorrow." Ann smiled.

Keira nodded and finally left.

As soon as she was gone Ann's smile fell. Damn, those ribs hurt more than she wanted to admit. Mark's look was still blank when he helped her into her clothes.

Chuckling through her pain Ann looked up at his face. "Didn't quite plan on having you see me in my knickers this way."

A smile crossed his eyes, before he asked: "What about the drip?"

She shrugged and pulled the needle out of its plastic holding, disconnecting the drip from her arm.

Mark watched her intently, then asked: "Can you raise your arms?"

She nodded, even though pulling the sweater over her head made her bite her lips to keep from crying out.

Once she was completely clothed, she felt better. The only problem now was going through the doctor. But she needed that needle removed from her arm and the paper work had to be done. She took Mark's hands and laid them around her hips, while sliding to the edge of the bed, until her feet were on the ground. "I hate to ask but I think I need your help here."

He just nodded.

Ever so carefully she put weight on her legs. She put her arms on Mark's, relying on his strength to pull her up rather than on her own. Surprisingly it worked. Once she stood upright, her legs felt wobbly and she knew there were bruises that would start to hurt as soon as the pain medication lost its effect, but for now she was sure she could walk.

Mark slowly decreased his grip until she stood on her own. When she took a few small steps, he stayed close to her side, at the ready to catch her should she stumble.

They made it to the hallway like this. Ann felt exhausted already, so she just blocked the path of a nurse. "I need to talk to Dr. Peterson. Now."

The nurse took one look at her, then her eyes darted to Mark, then she nodded and ran off.

"What the hell did you do?" Mark didn't answer but held her closer to him.

An eternity later the doctor showed up. He looked decidedly annoyed. "What is this?"

"I'm going home."

"I can't have you leave the hospital in good conscience."

"I leave by my own free will. I just need someone to take that needle out of my arm and give me the papers to sign."

The doctor sighed exaggeratedly. Then he shrugged. "It is your decision. Go back to your room. I'll have someone bring the papers and remove the needle. But you leave without my assent."

"Yes."

With another shake of his head the doctor turned on his heels.

Ann was silently glad when she was back in the room, and could sit down on the edge of the bed. She'd need to make some arrangements for getting help when she was back at her place. At least for a few days.

A nurse came and removed the needle from her arm. A little later a second nurse came and brought the papers and some prescriptions. To Ann's great relief she also brought a wheelchair. So the way to the car wouldn't be a problem. She signed everything she had to sign and sooner than it had seemed possible, they were on their way out of the hospital, and finally she was comfortably seated in Mark's car.

They drove in silence, until Ann noticed that they weren't going to her place. She looked over to him, a massive pale-faced figure in the cold morning light. "You don't have to do that, you know."

Without turning towards her he replied: "I know."

He had to help her out of the car when they reached his place. Standing up was still painful. But her legs were a little steadier and she managed to walk inside without too much trouble. She even managed to go to the bathroom before finally collapsing on the bed. She brushed off her shoes and let herself sink back into the pillows. Mark pulled the blankets up around her and went to bring her some water. She breathed in the deep soothing male smell of the room.

The pain in her ribcage seemed to lessen as she finally relaxed. Her eyelids became heavy. Safe, finally. She smiled. At home.


	58. Chapter 58

Author's note: First of all, thank you for the kind reviews!

Jenna: Say Hi to my favorite continent from me! One day I'll convince my hubby that he won't instantly die of spider bites if he visits down under...! :-) And no, I have no intention of giving up on the story but I will remind you of the rose petals if I ever manage to finish it! LOL.

Takerslady: I have the horrible feeling that I'm going to disappoint you with the next few chapters... Not enough naughtiness in them... One day they'll have sex, I promise! ;-)

Well, the usual disclaimer is still in effect. Still not a native speaker etc.

* * *

Chapter 58: Revelations

When she finally woke up a soft warm afternoon light filtered in through the shades. She turned her head. A glass of water and a bottle full of pills stood at the bedside. Oh yes. She felt the bandage around her chest. She tried to sit up. The movement hurt more than she remembered, sharp spikes that were due to the wearing off of the pain meds. Gritting her teeth she gathered the momentum to bring herself into a half upright position. She grabbed the glass and drank a few sips. Looking around the room she found that there were fresh flowers on the windowsill and the TV from the living-room had been brought here. She smiled. A warm gratefulness flooded her. Sighing she sank back into the pillows. She'd try to get up in just a little while. Only a few moments to gather her strength.

When she woke up again the room was filled with flickering colors and voices. "You'll be dead by sunrise." She looked up and the shapes sharpened. It was an old western movie. Mark was propped up on the pillows on the other side of the bed. His hair was flowing openly down his shoulders. His eyes were closed but when he felt her move he opened them.

"Hey", she smiled.

"Hey."

"How long did I sleep?"

"Uhh", he turned to look at the clock on his nightstand, "long."

She nodded. It had seemed long. "I'm hungry." The thought had sprung up suddenly but she knew it was true as soon as she said it.

"Want some chicken soup?"

"Oh yes, please!"

Yawning he stretched and got up: "Your wish is my command."

Once he was gone she carefully sat up, finally getting to her feet and making her way to the bathroom and back. By the time she had read through the instructions that came with the pain meds and had taken a pill, he was back with the soup. She put the bowl on the nightstand and slowly started eating. Swallowing seemed to work which was well because her appetite was huge.

"How do you feel?" Mark asked when she was halfway through the soup.

"Like someone crushed my chest." She tried to make her tone sound lighthearted. If his face was any clue, she wasn't succeeding.

"Did you try to kill yourself?"

The question came out of nowhere.

"What?" She was thunderstruck.

"I 'm not saying you did, I'm just asking."

"What makes you say that?"

"I went to your place to get your clothes. I thought I'd better pack a bag for a couple of days and get you everything you need. So I looked around whether you take any meds I should bring. Some people keep their meds in the nightstand beside their beds."

She felt how the blood drained from her face while he was talking. She had forgotten about that. She sank back into the pillows, turning her head away.

He laid a hand on her arm, "Ann, please answer me. Did you want to die?"

Tears shot in her eyes when she looked at him, "Oh God, no." Her voice crumbled so she took a deep breath and started anew: "No, I didn't. I don't. I'm not suicidal."

"Then why the pills and the letter?"

His voice was strangely calm. His unemotional face in the hospital came back to her mind. She had thought it was the accident. But it wasn't that after all. "I'm so sorry. You should never have seen those things."

"I read the letter."

She cringed. Her mind refused to let her go over the words she had written. Had written not only once, had written and rewritten many nights. Until the letter was perfect. Only it wasn't perfect. It was wrong. It was a lie. She had never had the guts to kill herself, not even back when she didn't want to live. All she needed was the possibility. To have the pills close by. But how to explain that?

"It was an accident. I promise."

He nodded but said nothing. She took his hand. "I want to live." With you, her mind volunteered. Ever so carefully she turned and nestled herself to his side.

He laid his arm around her, holding her close until she fell asleep again.


	59. Chapter 59

Chapter 59: Elephants

When she woke the next time, the place beside her was empty. The clock on the nightstand told her it was ten in the morning. What day was it? The last week had blurred into one continuous stream of events. Sunday they visited Glen and Keira. Monday was the accident. Tuesday she seemed to have mostly slept through once she was out of the hospital. So it must be Wednesday. Sure enough she found a note on Mark's pillow telling her "I'm at the shop. Call me if you need anything." The phone lay beside it. She bit her lip. In the drug induced haze that her mind labelled as yesterday the question of whether she had wanted to kill herself stood out clearly. Her gut tied itself into knots over it. It told her that his discovery had caused a crack in their emotional bond and she desperately wanted to fix it. She yearned to call him, to explain everything. But how would that make anything any better? With a heavy heart she decided to refrain from calling and instead got up.

It was surprisingly easy to go through a morning routine. Sure, instead of a shower she had to make do with a lick and a promise. And the choices for clothes to get dressed were limited. Also, the shock of the impact and the following bed rest had made her muscles stiffen up badly. So additionally to not being able to use one arm, her whole body responded much slower than she was used to. But then, under the spell of depression she had been in since Ally's death, her morning routine had taken her longer than today. She even managed to make some coffee, though she wasn't sure it was a good mix with the meds. She seriously needed coffee, though. It was an addiction she had never wanted to shake.

She left the empty cup in the sink and took a donut with her to the living-room. She wasn't overly hungry. Rebekka's picture looked at her from the shelf. She looked back intently. What a gorgeous woman. She could easily picture her chatting with Keira in the big white house, totally at ease with herself and her surroundings. She seemed like someone who would be at ease in any company, because she radiated a self-confidence that Ann lacked completely. At the same time, the same way she couldn't picture Glen and Keira in this house, she couldn't picture Rebekka living here. The small cramped house seemed more like a place where someone like herself would live. She looked around the room. Nothing had changed since her last visit, if you didn't count the missing TV which was now in the bedroom. Her own picture was also still there. She consciously let her eyes drift over it without giving it a second glance. She didn't want to be reminded of her own life this morning.

Idly she leaved through the books on the shelf. She read a few pages here and there, but her mind was not in the mood for novels typed in a small font today. Finally she arrived at the closet Mark had taken the box with the pictures from. She hesitated for only a second before opening it. A cursory inspection revealed nothing out of the ordinary. Apart from the box on the lower shelf nothing else seemed to be a reminder of the past. She took the box with her good hand and dragged it back to the couch. She wanted to look at the pictures again.

Slowly she took them out one by one. There were more pictures underneath the ones he had shown her. They all seemed unreal. There were no private pictures among them, even though there were a few that showed Rebekka. But they were obviously to do with wrestling, too. It also became ever clearer to her that he was a big star. A Big Star. There were shots of the crowds in the huge arenas and countless "Undertaker" posters were visible. She also found a few press releases and interviews among the photos. Some seemed to be interviews of the Undertaker and some of Mark. Or were they all of his gimmick? She couldn't quite decide. When he talked about Kane being his brother, that was obviously the story-line, as he had told her and she had met "Kane". But some other stuff, covering all sorts of trivia from musical interests to college info seemed to be real enough. What a strange life to lead. Her gaze was drawn into the picture that showed Mark on one knee, his arm stretched out in a gesture of – welcome? friendship? loyality? – to Glen. Strange, yet weirdly fascinating. "The Phenom" some of the press articles called him. A mystic figure with otherworldly strength. Most of the time his gimmick seemed to have been a lost and restless soul. Black hair, black coats, coffins. Then for a time his persona changed and what she saw seemed closer to the person she knew. A biker on a Harley. He looked like he thoroughly enjoyed driving through the arenas on a Harley. But then of course he couldn't very well look like he enjoyed being a restless soul, seeing that the whole point of this mystic figure seemed to be the grim reaper. Whatever his private feelings were at the time, they were well hidden behind the façade.

She leaned back on the couch, looking into space. She could see why people were fascinated with the character as well as the man. Who wanted a white knight on a horse? It was the black knights, the bad guys, the – how had Tom put it? – the dangerous guys, that held the most fascination. Being a good girl with a bad guy gave you so much more freedom.

An hour later she heard the jingling of keys in the lock and a minute later Mark looked into the living-room. His only reaction to the chaos she had produced by spreading out all the pictures and articles in the box and trying to sort them chronologically by using his appearance as a guideline was to raise his eyebrows.

"I brought lunch." He held up a big paper bag.

"Hi. Lunch is good."

She followed him to the kitchen. Though she had spent the morning on the couch, her chest seemed to hurt more the longer she was awake. She went to the cabinet to get a glass and some water and take her pain meds. She was getting better at doing everything one-handed. "Anything interesting at the shop?"

He took his time to answer while putting the food on plates. "I sold a Harley. Had scheduled an appointment with a long-time customer this morning. Only reason I went."

She nodded.

There was a pause and they took the food to the table. Again, Mark didn't comment on the pictures lying around on the couch. She felt compelled to explain herself but didn't know how to start. They ate in silence. An awkward mood had settled on them. Ann felt like there were several elephants in the room. The accident, the hospital, her letter, her snooping around in his past. Too many elephants for her to relax. Consequently, she felt full after a couple of bites. Wordlessly she offered the rest of her plate to him. He accepted it with a nod. When he had finished his last bite, he leaned back and looked at her questioningly. She fidgeted a little, feeling extremely self-conscious under that gaze.

Suddenly he broke the silence. "I want you to stay."

She looked up at him in confusion. "Well, I'm here."

"No, I mean, I want you to stay."

She was still confused. So far, she had just assumed that since he had invited her yesterday, she could stay here till she was healed. "You know, if it's too much to have me here, I mean, I know you are used to living alone here and I make a chaos on the very first day…" She trailed of with a sideways glance towards the papers strewn around.

"No", he was shaking his head decisively. "You don't understand." He leaned forward, trying to catch her gaze when she didn't instantly look at him. "Ann, I want you to stay. Here. With me. To move in. To live with me."

"I –", it was all she could do to keep her mouth from hanging open.

"Look, you don't have to answer right now. Think about it." Obviously taking her stunned reaction for a no, he retreated instantly. "I know you love your sister's house and I know we don't know each other long enough for big decisions. Just, just know that…" Now it was his time to trail off.

"Thank you." She said it very quietly. "I'll think about it." All these elephants in the room weren't getting any smaller.


	60. Chapter 60

Chapter 60: You gotta be kidding me!

After lunch, Mark went back to the shop. They hadn't talked about any of the important stuff. Ann's thoughts kept spinning in circles. She desperately needed someone to talk to about all of this. She headed back to the bedroom. Lying down on her side of the bed she took the phone he had placed on the pillow. She stared at the numbers on the display for a while before making her decision. She couldn't call Bette with this, not after not calling her for months. And anyway, what were gay best friends for if not to be able to talk to them about falling in love and being scared to death about it? She dialled Lonny's number.

He picked up the phone after the second ring. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me, Ann."

"Whoa, two calls in a week!"

"Scary, huh?"

"What happened?"

"I need your advice."

"Move back and forget about the guy."

Despite herself she laughed. "No way. Not that easy, either."

"What does that mean?"

"He wants me to move in."

"Whoa, how long did you say you knew each other?"

When she didn't answer he continued: "Thought so. Girl, you know that that's not a good idea."

"That's the problem, Lonny. I don't know that. It should be a bad idea but it feels – as if that's the way it should be."

"You're out of your mind. Where are you now?"

"Ehh, in his bed."

After a second Lonny said cautiously: "But he's not in there with you right now, is he?"

"Lonny!!!"

"Just wanted to make sure."

She could hear him giggle at the other end of the line. "There's also the problem of baths."

"What?" Now Lonny sounded confused.

"Umm. I broke my arm. And some ribs apparently. I think I need help taking a bath."

There was silence.

"I had a bike accident. It's alright. I'm staying at Mark's place till I feel better. But I need his help if I want to take a bath."

Still nothing from the other side.

"We haven't yet, you know… And now with the ribs broken it's probably not a good idea… But I have no idea how to bath when I can only use one hand!"

She heard Lonny take a deep breath: "So you're telling me, first you had an accident and thank God you're alive! Then you went to stay at his place and now he asked you to move in, and you didn't even have sex yet?"

She nodded: "Yeah, that about sums it up."

"Girl, I have no advice to you. In my world, guys like that don't exist. You sure he's a guy?"

"Very definitely, yes."

"Ha."

Ann struggled with herself. Mark had not forbidden her to talk about his past. And Lonny was a drama queen, but not the kind that got star-struck and went to camp on some celebrity's lawn.

"He's… You know him."

"Can't be. I know nobody in that godforsaken town you call home now."

"No, not like that. He's, he's been sort of famous a while back." Ann didn't know how to say this.

"You're dating an actor?"

"Yes. No. No, I'm –", the word 'dating' didn't seem to fit anymore, "I'm with a guy who sells bikes. But who was a big star a while back."

"You're killing me, Ann. Either spill or don't! Patience is not one of my strengths."

She took a deep breath. "He's The Undertaker." There, she'd said it.

There was no audible reaction.

"Lonny?"

"You're kidding me."

"So you remember him."

"Course I do! He's like THE man!"

She sensed that he needed a couple of minutes to digest this info.

"Wait! Didn't his wife die a few years back? Wasn't that why he retired?"

"Yeah."

"Wow." For once even Lonny seemed to be at a loss for words.

"He's a great guy, Lonny. He's scary sad sometimes, but so am I. And, and he's totally taken my breath away."

"He's really asked you to move in? Wow."

She chuckled. "He's not living in a mansion or anything if you're thinking that. Just a nice little old house."

"I can't believe it. My best friend runs away, disappears, and shows up again being an item with the Taker!"

"Lonny, please? His name is Mark."

"Sorry. But kiddo, I still can't help you. You gotta dig into your heart and see how serious this is for you and what you want to make of it."

Ann sighed. She knew how serious this was for her and she knew exactly what she wanted to make of it. The question was whether that was sensible.


	61. Chapter 61

Chapter 61: Stay at home vacation

When Mark came back, she had almost cleaned the chaos away. It was slow work with one hand. Also, she had decided to keep the picture that showed him with his arm outstretched towards Glen. There was a sincerity in his expression that seemed more than an act. She had also gotten up her courage and called her work to tell her boss she wouldn't come in for a while and that she would send the doctor's note. Her boss had been friendly, but she could sense that he was about fed up with her. She had called in sick once too often even for an Angel. Ally's house was not paid off, though the rates were low, they were significant if you didn't have a job. She'd need to think about her next moves. She had a few savings still, but she didn't want to be in a position where she had to move in with Mark because she couldn't pay her bills. She was sure he'd be compassionate, but their financial status was too different for her to be comfortable with any such arrangement.

When Mark got home he was in a good mood. "Two bikes sold today, so I'm going to close shop for the rest of the week. How does a stay-at-home-vacation with movies and popcorn sound?"

She smiled, "Perfect. Are you sure you want to close the shop for the week?"

"Yes, indeed I am, if for no other reason than to keep you from over-straining your ribs by searching through my stuff."

He chuckled but she still blushed.

"It's fine. Now tell me what movies you want and I'll run to Blockbuster's really quick."

"Umm, some good old-fashioned action? Anything with Bruce Willis in it? Fifth Element?"

"Well, I can deal with that. I'll see what they have. Be back in a minute." He gave her a quick peck on the lips and was out of the door again.

She touched her lips with her fingers. They hadn't really kissed since the accident. None of those lingering intense kisses. She missed it.

She had cleaned everything off the couch till he came back. She'd also brought the blanket from the bedroom. Cuddling up on the couch was so much nicer when your feet were warm.

"Looks comfy", was Mark's first comment when he came back.

"There's still space for exactly one big guy under the blanket."

"What about one big guy who brings popcorn?"

"Even better."

She felt a bit guilty about not getting up and helping him but her chest still hurt like a bitch. On the plus side, at least she didn't feel as tired as yesterday.

Mark came back with the popcorn, a soda for her and a beer for him: "No alcohol while you're on pain meds."

She made a few grumbling sounds just for play. He grinned and put the DVD in. She made space for him on the couch. He carefully drew her closer till she was comfortably nestled in his arm.

"Ready?"

"Sure."

He hit the play button but then instantly went back to pause. "Before I forget it, Glen and Keira send their love."

"Oh right, we promised to call Keira."

"Which I would have done, but Glen called me first. He was very worried when she told him about the accident."

"Yeah, I guess he would be. Did you calm him down?"

"Yes, I told him you were already feeling better."

She looked at him quizzically. He paused. "What?"

She shook her head: "I think he was worried about you, not me."

"Why would he...? Oh."

"Yeah."

He was blushing. He tried to hide it but she could clearly see it. "In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have, umm, threatened the hospital staff."

He looked so much like a little boy caught at stealing candy that she had to laugh though it made her ribs hurt more.

Spontaneously she tried to reach up to kiss him, but she couldn't move very well. She looked at him, her eyes drawing him down to her. For the longest moment he just held her gaze. When he finally bent down it was as if he had to get over a barrier first. She closed her eyes just before his lips found hers. He held her head with one hand, so that she didn't have to carry its weight in her half backward position. The kiss was slow, deliberate, lips never parting more than an inch. She let him lead, sensing that he needed time. When he finally broke the kiss, he leaned his forehead against hers. Breathing in his scent, she kept her eyes closed and just enjoyed the closeness. He tightened his grip around her as if to make sure she was all there.

With a sigh, he finally straightened up.

His eyes had gone all serious. It was more than she could take at this moment, so she grabbed the nearest thought in her head to relieve the tension.

"I need help bathing."

For a second he looked taken aback, then he caught himself and instantly smirked: "Say that again, darlin'!" He rolled the sentence in his deepest Southern accent and it made her blush faster than she could consciously grasp the meaning of his words.

Embarrassed, she repeated what she had said: "I need help bathing. Only one hand plus fractured ribs is no good for getting in and out of a tub."

"So, you want me to help you get in and out of the tub?" He drew out the words as long as it was humanly possible, given them a subtext that pushed the blood not only to her face, but to other places as well. Which of course made her blush harder. He watched her reaction with obvious glee.

She fought against her impulse to stick out her tongue at him and instead said with a smirk: "Actually, I fear you'll have to get your hands wet, too."

He raised one eyebrow: "Is that a promise?"

"You bet."


	62. Chapter 62

Chapter 62: I love you

They watched Bruce Willis save the world a couple of times for the rest of the evening. Ann couldn't keep her eyes open and dozed off every now and then, but didn't want to move, either. Finally, light strokes on her hair and Mark's deep voice woke her up again: "Time to go to bed, hun. Wake up, you can sleep more in a minute."

"MMmmmhhmmm."

He didn't reply, but she felt his hands on her back and under her knees. He carefully scooped her up, including blanket and everything. "Shhh, all is well."

By reflex she grabbed his shirt with her good hand, though it wasn't necessary. She could feel his muscles shift smoothly under her weight as he brought her to the bedroom. Carefully he laid her down on the bed.

"Thank you."

He just tugged her in carefully and then went to his side of the bed to get undressed.

Though she had been tired before, she was awake now and watched him as he stripped to his boxers. In the dim lighting from the bed-side lamp, she could only sense the tattooed dragon as darker shades on his skin. The rolling motions of his muscles still stood out clearly, though. Even a month ago she wouldn't have pitched herself as the kind of girl who was digging muscles, but now she couldn't take her eyes away. He shook out his long hair before binding it into a loose pony tail. She tried to keep herself from looking any deeper than his lower back, but of course the more you avoid looking at something, the more your eyes are drawn to it. His boxers weren't the tight fitting kind. She found herself disappointed at this. Which yeah, shouldn't have been surprising seeing how the fire in her stomach flared high every time he just looked at her in that certain way. Or really every time she just thought about him looking at her that way. Judging from the way he kissed, he was an intense lover, both forceful and dominant, yet making sure his woman didn't get left behind.

Suddenly she became aware that he had stopped moving. Startled out of her musings, she looked up and when she saw his raised eyebrow, she knew that she had been caught staring yet again.

"You seeing anything interesting, darlin?"

There was no sense in denying it, so she just nodded. Her voice was husky when she answered a short "yes".

A deep smile emerged around the corners of his mouth but it never turned into the sexual smirk she'd been expecting. Whatever feeling it was that her plain reaction caused in him, he seemed to savour it and just let it wash over him. Then his smile curved regretfully and he closed his eyes with a sigh. When he finally opened them again, the sexual innuendo was gone. He climbed into bed and lay down beside her. With a soft gesture, he laid his palm on the bandage around her ribcage, tracing the outlines of the different layers with a light brush of his index finger. His voice was as affectionate as his touch, when he said, "I've broken a rib or two in my life. There's nothing I'd want more than to make love to you right here and now. But it would hurt you."

"I know."

His warm palm lay on her tummy now, his thumb softly stroking her skin under her shirt. She felt a deep intimacy with him that was new for her. She let her hand follow the outlines of the muscles on his arm. The shared quietness seemed to draw them even closer.

She turned her head to look at his face. His green eyes were shaded. His body warmth radiated out to her, his steady hand on her belly soothing her aches. When he had asked her to move in, it had been too soon and out of the wrong reasons. You had to take things one step at a time. And it was time.

She laid her hand on his chest where she could feel his heartbeat.

"I love you."

She thought she could feel his heart tumble for a moment. When he didn't answer anything, she let her hand sink from his chest and asked him: "Does that scare you?"

He shook his head slowly. "It scares me that I love you, too."

In his eyes, the deep ripples under the surface that she had noticed right from the beginning were showing again. He had stopped stroking her tummy, his hand lying heavy on her skin. The atmosphere in the room was shifting fast, the closeness she had felt gone as he retreated into himself. He was fighting demons which he didn't want to break lose.

He grimaced, she could tell he wanted to give her an explanation for what was happening. "I -, I knew you can't promise me that I won't lose you. But did you have to take such drastic measures to prove it?" His expression was pained and though the comment had been intended to be ironic, his agony lay thick in it.

All her alarm-bells had started ringing but she couldn't just pass over it to calm him down. Her only thought was that you couldn't give in to fear. "I love you, Mark. More than I have loved anyone in my life."

His breathing was following a staccato rhythm now, betraying his outward stillness as false.

His demons echoed inside her and she had to give them voice. "I ain't her. You don't have to give me that space in your heart that belongs to her. But don't give up on me just because I'm human."

She could feel how the muscles in his hand on her tummy tensed, imitating the motions of making a fist and releasing the tension again, without ever actually moving. The calm before the storm.

He shook his head. His words were clipped when he answered: "I won't. I promised you that already."

Her worry was growing with every second. He had seemed tense to the breaking before, but this time it felt different. This time, the storm would come. All she could hope now was that it was a spring storm that would melt away the ice inside him, not a blizzard that would bury them in a freezing inferno.

He had shut his eyes. His eyebrows were drawn together, the fight with his locked away emotions raging. She needed to be as close to him possible. She let her fingers run along his cheekbone, following the edges of his features, cupping his chin. He moved his head to the side, trapping her hand between his face and his shoulder. She could literally feel the waves of emotion crashing down on him as his breathing became still more laboured. Her heart broke for him.

"Shh, shh. I'm here. I'll protect you. You're safe." She kept talking, hoping that her voice would act as an anchor against the assaults his mind had prepared for him. He was heaving now, his whole body shaking. "Don't choke on it. Just cry. It'll make it better. Don't fight it. You're safe."

She could see that he gritted his teeth, fighting his demons with every fibre in him. Suddenly a cry broke out of him: "It is my fault. It is all my fault." And with that he finally broke down. He screamed out his pain, a wordless cry that was more animalistic than human.

Then he started sobbing uncontrollably. She felt the wet drops of his tears running down her fingers. He had given her hand free, unable to hold his head up against the onslaught of pain. Still, she had kept her hand where it was, softly stroking his face, his hair. He was talking between sobs, unintelligible accusations against himself, of which she didn't catch much more than the word "accident". She shuffled still a bit closer, laying her arm around him, creating an enclosed safe space for him, engulfed by her warmth. She didn't know what accident he was talking about, hers or Rebekka's. It didn't make much of a difference anyway. "Hush. It'll all be ok. Just let it out."

She cradled him like a child, though that was hard enough, huge as he was. He hid his face at her side, visible waves of pain still crashing through him. His one hand now gripped the fabric of her shirt, while the other was ripping at his hair. She loosened his hold on his hair, stopping him from hurting himself, and instead laced her fingers through his. His fingers tightened around hers. He brought their hands up to his face, wrapping his other hand around them and pressing them against his lips. It wasn't so much a kiss as a desperate clutching on.

Her heart ached so badly she has trouble keeping her voice steady. "You're a good man. You're caring for the ones you love. You're protecting them. Accidents happen. It is not your fault."

His pain was ripping her apart as well. She had known this moment would come, but there was still nothing to prepare her for it.

„Love is always pure, love doesn't get tarnished. Can't you feel the love? Can't you feel my love?" She tried to convey all of her feelings in the tone of her voice. "You're loved."

That got a noticeable reaction, like a shudder running through him, so she said it again: "You're loved, Mark. You have always been loved. And you're worthy of that love."

He shook his head No, too choked by his tears now to protest verbally.

"You know it's true. Somewhere deep in your heart, you know. Somewhere behind the pain, love is still pure, still eternal."

Thoughts of Ally crept into her mind. A lump started to form in her throat. "Listen to your soul. Listen to what it's telling you about the beauty behind the pain. It's not your fault. You're loved."

Tears started dripping silently from her cheeks, too. "You did everything you could to protect her. You did everything you could."

She had to stop. She wasn't sure anymore whether she was talking about Rebekka or Ally. She felt a pang, like something bursting inside her. He had done everything he could. She had done everything she could. A feeling was rapidly expanding from her chest. From that same place in her heart, the one were love was pure and untouched by life's tragedies, it was swelling till she thought she would burst. An all-engulfing stream of raw emotion, of life, of love. She loved him so much it physically hurt.

"I love you, Mark, I love you." She was sobbing now, too, but her tears came without pain. She felt light and heavy at the same time, anchored in love and grief, but part of something that was bigger than her. Part of an eternal gift given to mankind.

It was a long time until his sobbing finally subsided. Her own tears had also dried. The storm had left them limp and empty, unable to move. They just held each other close. Eventually sleep came, blissfully laying a blanket of oblivion upon their sorrows.


	63. Chapter 63

Chapter 63: Glen

When she woke up, her broken arm throbbed. She had obviously tried to sleep on it. Weird dreams had followed her in a restless early morning. She had expected Ally to visit her but when the door bell rang and she opened, a big gnarly monster had been standing outside, saying it was there to collect her soul. She tried to shake the dream out of her head. Mark's side of the bed was empty but when she laid her hand on it, it was still warm. He couldn't have gotten up too long ago. Sitting up was easier than yesterday. She took one of the pain pills and gulped it down with the water on the night-stand. She could hear low voices. They seemed to come from the kitchen. A visitor?

She took some clothes and went to the bathroom. When she saw herself in the mirror, she grimaced. There were dark shadows under her eyes, prominently accompanied by the bruises on her forehead and neck which had reached their destined purple color. Her hair hang limply around her head. It needed to be washed. Sighing, she let water fill the sink while she undressed. The hair would have to wait but she'd do what she could for the rest of her. She scrubbed herself with a wash cloth. The fresh feel of the cool water brought back some of her energy. After brushing her teeth she got dressed and ventured into the kitchen to see who Mark was talking to.

They had their backs turned towards her, but there was no mistaking their features. Mark and Glen were sitting on the porch stairs, coffee mugs in their hands. She watched them through the glass door. She couldn't make out more than the occasional word of what they were saying. Pouring herself a cup of coffee, she tried to decide whether it was ok to disturb them. Unable to come to a conclusion, she leaned against the kitchen counter, the warmth of the coffee seeping into her palm. There wasn't much you could tell from their backs. They seemed very still. Softly, she gave the glass door a nudge to open it a little further.

"You gotta talk to me, man. You look like a fucking dead man walking for real."

If Mark answered anything, it was too low for her to hear.

Glen's voice was frustrated. "Ok, since you don't want to tell me, I'll tell you. I know the story of your life just as well as you do. So here it goes. Your wife dies in a car accident. The investigation never finds out who caused the accident, but you blame yourself because you were the driver. You can't deal. So you bury yourself in this town because it's near Bekka's favorite place. You buy a small house and avoid all people. You buy Bekka's forest but avoid going there, too. You loose yourself in your bitterness against the world and your hate against yourself. We all almost despair over your stubborn refusal to get a life again. Then, finally, you do something reasonable and buy your shop. Despite yourself, you start enjoying your work. You get your daily life back on track. But you still avoid the female half of the population, closing your heart against anyone who might get too close. Then you meet Ann."

Glen's voice changed its inflection, something like wonder was mingled in it now. "Man, you shoulda have heard yourself when you called me after she first came by your shop. Had you told me you took her to Summer's Heart, I'd have known right there and then. How long hadn't you been there before you took her?"

He paused. When there still was no audible reaction from Mark, he nodded and resumed his story: "So, she doesn't recognize you. She knows nothing of your story. You tell me you sense her pain and want to help her. But you're kidding yourself, because in reality, you feel damn attracted to her, but you're just so sure there is no love for you anymore in this world. You tell her about Bekka, maybe because you trust her, maybe because you want to see whether she runs. She doesn't. By now, you have helplessly fallen in love. But that stupid brain of yours still tells you love can't be for you. But you can't let go of her, either, cause even though you'd never admit it, you've longed for her to come along all that time. You start letting down your guard. You start to hope. And just then she has a bike accident. And for a moment it's like history repeats itself, only she survives."

He stopped. Mark seemed to stare down the empty space in front of his feet. He didn't move.

"C'mon, man, I'm not a psychologist, but every idiot can see that that's gotta cause havoc in your brain."

When Mark still didn't react, Kane shook his head. His voice was more serious and more affectionate than she had ever thoughts guys were able to talk among each other: "C'mon, bro. I was worried enough to come flying right back here. Talk to me."

Ann's eyes were stinging with tears. She knew she shouldn't be eavesdropping but she couldn't move away.

Mark's voice was barely audible when he finally spoke: "She thinks I deserve a second chance."

"She's right."

"Yet without me, she wouldn't have almost gotten killed."

"You can't know that, man."

Mark's voice was pressed and the emotion had almost drained out of it again. "I found a suicide note and some pills in her night-stand when I got her stuff for her."

Ann almost dropped her coffee at the sudden mentioning of this.

"What?" Glen's head had whipped around to Mark in shock.

"She wrote it a while ago. Before we met."

"Has everyone gone crazy?" Glen exclaimed, obviously at a loss of words for the situation.

"I can't lose someone else, Glen. I can't do it again. It almost destroyed me when Bekk and the... "

Ann's heart skipped a beat when she realised what he was about to say. She gasped. Mark had caught himself in the same instant. He broke off and quickly turned his face away from Glen to cover his expression. Suddenly, he straightened up and looked directly towards her. He apparently had caught her involuntary gasp of shock from the corners of his eyes. He looked at her through the glass door for a long moment, a mixture of emotions running over his face. Then he nodded to himself and turned back to Glen, who hadn't noticed her, because he had been staring at Mark's back, waiting for him to turn.

"It almost destroyed me when," he hesitated, though she had seen the resolve on his face, "when Bekk and the baby died." He let out a deep shuddering breath. "I'm sorry I never told you, bro. I didn't know how."

Glen was thunderstruck. "Rebekka was pregnant?"he asked incredulously.

"She was almost four weeks overdue. She had an appointment with her doctor the next Monday."

"I -", Glen broke off. He just kept shaking his head.

Mark's face was grey as ashes when he half turned towards Ann behind her door again. His voice sounded very tired. "You can join us if you want, Ann."

Glen turned from Mark to the door to Mark again, shock and confusion plain on his face.

She bit her lips and put her cup down. She didn't have much choice but to go out.

"Hello Glen." Her voice was small when she greeted him.

He didn't answer. The turn of events had rendered him speechless.

Mark beckoned for her to sit down beside him. She did and he took her hand in his, absentmindedly caressing her palm. His attention was focused on Glen, though. "I don't know how much of a difference this makes to you. I know that the baby wasn't much more than a bunch of cells yet. But it was our child. I couldn't tell you that I had killed my wife and my child."

"Why? Why didn't you tell us?"

Mark shook his head helplessly. "I just couldn't."

"We would have shared your pain. We would have supported you."

"You did support me."

"We could have mourned together."

"I know. I know that now. I wasn't really my best self back then."

Glen was still shaking his head. Then suddenly he opened his eyes wide and stared at Ann: "You better not do anything that hurts him!" It was almost a growl.

Before Ann could react, Mark was already stepping in: "Hold it right there, Glen. If it wasn't for her, you'd still know nothing about this."

Mark's body had shifted to create a protective shield in front of her. Glen's body had reacted in much the same involuntary fashion. Though they were still sitting they both had moved into a fighting stance within a heartbeat. They glared at each other.

Mark was the first to speak: "Don't ever threaten her again. No one messes with my woman and gets away with it. Not even you."

Glen held his stare for another second, before nodding curtly and looking away. "My apologies", he murmured in Ann's general direction.

She had followed the short intermezzo with bewilderment, though she by now guessed that this was just the way Mark and Glen interacted whenever their testosterone and their feelings clashed. "No offense taken."

She looked from one guy to the other. Both had slumped into their normal sitting position again. They weren't looking at each other or her.

"You know what, why don't I leave you guys alone for a bit and call Keira so we can all have lunch together? I think we all need some energy back."

Glen was the first to nod. "That's a good idea."

She got up, yet stayed where she was and waited for Mark's reaction.

He looked up at her, his face still ashen. "Don't tell her, ok? I need to tell her myself."

Ann nodded. She wouldn't have told her anyway.


	64. Chapter 64

Author's Note: I bet you didn't think I'd update that soon... LOL.

Chapter 64: Keira

Just as she had expected Glen's and Keira's home number was on speed dial. The phone rang a couple of times before Keira answered. "Hello?"

"Keira? This is Ann."

"Is everything ok?"

Ann cleared her throat: "More or less. The guys are still talking. Would you like to come over for lunch? I think it'll be awhile before they're finished."

"How are you holding up?"

She hadn't really thought much about that, being much more worried about Mark than herself. "I am holding up. As long as everyone is ok with pizza from the delivery service, that is."

"Don't worry, hun, that's one thing I can help with. I'll go by the Pizza Deli and bring some. Do you have any special wishes? The guys always want everything on it. But I can recommend their four seasons pizza."

"Sounds good", Ann replied though she really didn't feel like eating.

"Alright. I'll be there in half an hour or so."

"Thanks. I'll see you then."

She already wanted to hang up when Keira held her back: "And Ann? If they're getting into a fight, either keep out of it or scream at them to stop being morons from a safe distance. They can handle themselves even when it doesn't look like it."

Ann was surprised at both Keira's directness and the fact that she had predicted something that had already almost happened. "You gotta tell me those stories someday."

"Only if you're sure you want to know. They are big headed fools, both of them. But you just gotta love them. I'll see you in a bit."

"Bye."

After they had hung up, Ann looked out of the glass door again. It didn't seem like the guys were anywhere close to a fight right now. Of course she had seen how quickly that could change, but she didn't think either of them had the energy right now to actually hurt the other. So she left them alone and busied herself cleaning the kitchen. Usually she was impatient with everything, but today she was glad that it was tricky and slow work to do with her injuries. She neither wanted to go back out, nor did she want to be left alone with her thoughts.

25 minutes later the door bell rang. Ann went to open for Keira.

"Pizza delivery serv- Girl, you look horrible if you don't mind me saying."

"Please come in, Keira."

Keira looked at her ruise with a sympathetic smile. "I'd hug you but there's too much pizza in the way."

Ann shrugged and replied in likewise fashion: "And I'd help you carry, if only I had two hands available."

Now Keira grinned: "No worries, I know the way to the kitchen. Though admittedly that isn't too big of a feat in this place."

She swept past Ann and carried the pizza boxes into the kitchen. She looked out into the garden where the guys hadn't moved since Ann had last checked up on them."Hmm. Do you have chairs for outside?"

"We have a blanket."

"Has to do then. I think the porch has more space than the kitchen and the living-room combined."

That wasn't true but Keira seemed uncomfortable in the crammed kitchen. "I'll go get the blanket then."

Keira nodded and stared out at the guys thoughtfully.

"Keira?" Ann turned back to her right before leaving the kitchen.

"Hmm?" She was deep in thoughts.

"You better go out immediately. I'll bring the pizzas."

Keira narrowed her eyes, but Ann just smiled a little forcedly and left the room.

After a moment, she heard Keira outside: "Pizza is here!"

Ann took her time retrieving the blanket. She had a feeling that Mark wanted to be over with the revelation of his secret and would tell Keira almost instantly. Rebekka smiled at Ann from her frame. You'd think one girl to another it would be easier to comfort someone but not in this case. Though she grieved for Mark, she couldn't mourn his wife whom she hadn't known and thus she was excluded from the feelings of the group.

She took the blanket and went back to the kitchen. She had switched on the oven at a very low heat and put the pizza boxes in to keep them warm.

Then she went to her spot by the glass door and looked out. Keira was staring at Mark with wide eyes. The noise of the air circulation of the oven dimmed out the voices, so she saw everything as a pantomime. Keira started shaking her head, eyes still glued to Mark as he kept talking. Her mouth formed a single word over and over again that wasn't hard to read: "No. No, no, no." Tears started running down her cheeks and finally she flung herself into her husband's arms.

After a minute, Mark got up and came inside. Silently they hugged, drawing comfort from each other's bodies.

Without letting go of her, he whispered: "I'm glad they know now." A sigh of relief escaped him. "Shouldn't be possible, but I feel better."

She straightened away from him enough to look into his face. A bit of color had returned to his cheeks. "So you'll be ok?"

He thought about it for a second, then nodded slowly. "I think so. Yes, I actually think I'll be ok."

A smile spread over her face and when he saw it, he bent down to kiss her with a long, lingering almost happy kiss.


	65. Chapter 65

Chapter 65: Back normal but different

„Should we go out to them?" Ann asked after a while.

"In a minute." Mark sought her eyes. "Tell me something first."

His expression was serious. "Will you be ok too?"

She gave him a reassuring smile. "Yes", she nodded.

"I didn't scare you away?"

She shook her head no, the warm feeling in her gut translating into an equally warm expression.

He scratched the back of his neck and nodded slowly. He looked like a warrior coming home from battle. Tired and worn, all tension evaporated in the heat of the fight. She was sure it wasn't gone forever, but right now he was calm.

Mark let go of her and went to look out. Keira was almost completely hid behind her husband's broad back.

Ann felt with him. "She'll be ok, too."

He sighed. "I wish it wouldn't always be me who gives them pain."

She took his hand. "Don't. It's not true anyway. Plus, she was her best friend. She has a right to know."

Mark grunted something that might or might not be consent.

"And after y'all have worked through the past, you have a chance to bring them only joy in the future."

Mark cocked his head to the side. "You know, I haven't seen it this way, but I guess that's true."

"See. Can we have pizza now?"

Even with the heavy mood, that made him smile and he went to fetch the pizza boxes from the oven.

Ann took the blanket and went out. She tried her best to spread it with one hand, but that didn't really work. She gave up and went over to Glen and Keira. With all that had happened, she felt less shy around them, even in a moment like this. If she couldn't share their grief, she could at least express her sympathy.

Glen looked up when she approached. He looked positively helpless. Keira had still buried her face in Glen's chest.

Ann crouched down beside them, steadying herself on the wood. "Keira? I want to tell you that I'm so very sorry for your loss."

The back of Keira's head moved as she nodded without looking up.

"Mark and I can give you two some space if you need more time, but there's pizza and maybe a little food will make things better."

There was no instant reaction from Keira, so Glen started to speak: "You know, thanks, but I think maybe it is better we go."

"No." Keira sat up with a shake of her head. "No." She fumbled for a tissue in her pocket, wiped away her tears and blew her nose. She looked at Ann for a second, but then talked to her husband. "No. You're going to Europe in a few days. You can't leave Mark like this."

Glen shrugged. "I'm just looking out for you, baby. Mark and I are good."

Keira thought about it for a second, and her voice was strong when she answered: "No. We'll have pizza."

Ann smiled gratefully and got up. She was sure Mark would have understood if they had gone home, but she was also sure that his mind would have been heavier for it.

As it was, he was standing on the porch looking a little sheepish. The blanket and the pizza boxes had been set on the ground.

Keira got up and went straight towards Mark. She hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry. Must have been horrible to live with this and not be able to talk about it with anyone."

Mark hugged her back a little awkwardly. "I am sorry."

Keira shrugged it off. She turned to Ann instead. "Thank you for whatever you did to make this happen", then she turned to Mark again, "it was long overdue."

He kept his head down, but nodded slightly.

"The pizza is getting cold", that came from Glen who seemed even more uncomfortable at the display of emotions than everyone else. He seated himself with a heavy thump.

Ann gratefully let herself sink down beside him and the others followed suit.

After lunch, Keira followed Ann, who had volunteered to get beer from the fridge for the guys. She touched her arm to stop her. "What happened?"

Ann looked at her. "When?"

"Between the accident and now. He's different. But not scary. I thought he would be."

"It's hard to describe." Ann shrugged apologetically. "He cried a lot."

"Did you know about the baby?"

Ann nodded.

Keira mirrored the gesture. "Yeah, I thought so. I'm sorry that I underestimated you."

"What?"

"At our first meeting. I wasn't sure about you. I'm sorry for giving you a hard time."

"You're welcome." Ann smiled at her warmly, "I would have done the same thing."

Keira's eyes shone with a deep affection for Mark when she replied. "He's special."

"You noticed that, too, huh?"


	66. Chapter 66

Chapter 66: At night

Glen and Keira stayed well into the afternoon. After a while, they all found back to a version of normalcy. Mark even cracked a few jokes, though the exhaustion of the emotional day was written clearly on his face. Ann also felt the emotional hurricane in all her bones, especially the injured ones. When it became undeniable that neither she nor Mark were really able to focus on the conversation anymore, Glen and Keira finally got up to leave. Mark and Glen scheduled to work out together at Glen's the next morning. After that, Glen would have to get back to the rest of the roster and wouldn't come home again until after the Europe tour.

When they were finally out of the door, Mark went straight to the bed-room and collapsed. Face-down, he lay there and didn't move.

Ann shook her head at the display. She was sure he'd happily carry heavy stuff around all day without feeling as much as strained. But the emotional storm had felled him like an old tree.

She went over to the bed. He managed to take up almost the complete space of the bed. Despite her own tiredness she smirked. Well, his own fault then, if the only free space available was on him. After a moment's hesitation, she climbed on top of him, kneeling so that she could comfortably reach his neck and shoulders with her right hand. Softly she began to massage the tight muscles. He had stiffened for a second when he felt her weight, but she could feel how he started to relax almost instantly after she started to rub his neck.

"Can you get rid of that shirt? Much easier to massage then." She took her weight from his back to give him space to wriggle out of the shirt. "Better."

She brushed his hair out of the way and set to work. She kneaded his muscles with a steady rhythm, using the acupressure points as a guideline. Because of her injuries, she couldn't increase the pressure to the level she would have liked to, she had to almost solely rely on the strength of her fingers and forearm. She hadn't ever massaged anyone with muscles that pronounced before. His biceps felt hard yet smooth at the same time. His clearly defined upper shoulder muscles were slick and held no knots to speak of. All the muscular tension seemed to be confined to the small space of his neck, so she concentrated on that. Without hurry, she attacked one knot after the other, producing a series of low grunts and small sighs from Mark depending on whether the dissolving of the knot hurt or relieved some pain.

Finally her fingers hurt and she had to stop. She trailed the sides of his spine with her wrist, using what pressure she could muster but that made her ribs hurt, so she gave up. With a soft thud she slid off his back and into the small space between his hip and the bundle of blankets.

He lazily rolled onto his back, giving her a little more space. He looked up at her with a content and tired smile, before cuddling up into a ball with his head in her lap and his arms slung around her leg. He was half-drifting into sleep already. Softly she stroked his hair, humming a little bed-time tune. After only a few minutes his breathing became deeper, more regular. He was fast asleep. His wide frame curled up like that, his hair spilling everywhere, his features even and content, he looked so innocent you couldn't imagine the demons he carried with him.

She played with the long strands of his soft hair while allowing her thoughts to roam. Their love was so young, yet at the same time it seemed ages old. How many lovers had felt the same way they did over the centuries? How many impossible loves had been taken on? She had felt it from their first kiss, but by now she was sure about it. She would never be able to turn her back on this man. For a reason she didn't know, their fates had been intertwined with each other.

She woke up a few hours later. It was dark. She didn't need the dim light that filtered in through the windows to know that Mark was still asleep, he was snoring away quietly. Ever so carefully, so that she didn't disturb him, she got up. She went to the kitchen to take her pain meds though she actually felt better already. Three weeks was what the nurse had told her. But while the bones in her arm were completely and utterly broken into two parts, her ribs were only cracked. So once the immediate swelling and bruising was gone, she should be fine as long as she was careful.

"Hey", Mark's voice was sleepy.

"Hey, did I wake you up?"

He yawned as an answer. "Wanna come back to bed?"

"In a second."

He nodded and went back to the bedroom.

Ann drank her glass of water and went to the bathroom. Sighing she took in her sight in the mirror. Those bruises were definitely not going away fast enough. She undressed, leaving only her shirt and undies on.

Mark was already cuddled up in bed again when she came in. He had also undressed.

He held the blanket up for her so she could climb in. She turned out the lights and snuggled up to him.

"Will you promise me something, Ann?

"Hmm?" She hadn't expected him to be awake enough to talk.

"Will you promise me to throw out those pills and the letter the next time you go to your house?"

"Didn't you throw them out already?"

"No."

"You could have, you know."

"Will you promise me?"

"Yes, Mark, I promise."

They lay in silence for a while.

"Why did you take me to Summer's Heart?"

"Cause it seemed right." He searched for her hand under the blanket and closed his fingers around it.

"Will you go back there with me when we're ready?"

He didn't ask her ready for what, just softly brushed his lips against her forehead.

She frowned. "You don't think we'll ever be ready?"

She felt him smile. "Most of the things I thought to be an unchangeable truth a month ago, have changed. I wouldn't give too much on what I think right now."

After a while he added: "I love ya, darlin'."

She noticed with a smile that his Southern accent was thick in the sentence, always an indication that the words came straight from his heart.

"I love you, too."

"Bekk's grandparents lived on a farm near this town. Bekk spent every summer of her childhood here. She found Summer's Heart when she was running wild during one of these summers. It became her hide-away. She never showed it to her cousins, only to her granny. And when the old lady died, she mourned for her there. She showed me the place when we were on tour in the area. I was only the second person she had ever shown it to."

Ann smiled. "And now Glen and Keira and me know it, too."

"No. Glen and Keir know that the place exists. They know it means a lot to me because it meant a lot to Bekk. But I've never taken them. You're the only person I ever took there."

Her mind replayed something Glen had said, "You've waited for me."

It was his turn to smile. "Maybe I have."

"Maybe I've waited for you, too."


	67. Chapter 67

Author's Note: Jenna: No firemen, but Merry Christmas anyway! ;)

Chapter 67: Bathing

When Ann woke the next morning, they were so entangled that she needed a moment to sort out which limbs belonged to her. She felt rested and when Mark opened his eyes only a few minutes after her, he looked refreshed, too.

"Good morning, darlin'", he smiled. But when he looked closer at her face, he winced. He traced the skin on her forehead with his fingers.

"Ouch."

"Sorry. The bruises should start to fade noticeably soon."

She nodded. That's what she told herself every time she looked into the mirror. "Umm, Mark? You remember what you promised me about the bath? If we're going to visit Glen and Keira, I absolutely need to wash my hair."

His eyes immediately lit up with a cheeky grin. "Course I remember. No guy in his right mind would forget that."

She shook her head and rolled her eyes in mock exasperation: "This is not play time. I get a bath, you help me."

His grin turned even wider: "Playtime, huh? I wonder whether that tub is big enough for two."

"Oh dear."

Though she had taken up the light banter, in reality, she felt nervous and embarrassed. She wanted romantic candle lighting to soften the shock of being naked, but the morning was bright and sunny.

Mark pondered his own question. "Hmm, actually, I think, the tub is big enough for two of you, but not for you and me. Ah, somehow the priorities on the list of necessary renovations just changed."

She gave him a smile that was halfway between amused and a grimace.

"Want me to fill water in already?"

She nodded.

With a smile and a kiss Mark got up and went over to the bathroom. Somehow the fact that he was wearing just his boxers made it better. She'd feel much more embarrassed if he was fully clothed, yet she wasn't sure she could handle him being naked right this second.

She had already found the towels in the closet, so she quickly undressed and took one of the big towels and wrapped it around her. Taking a deep breath, she followed him into the bathroom.

Mark was leaning over the edge of the tub, testing the temperature of the bubbly water. Obviously satisfied with the result, he nodded. "The best way to go about bathing with a tape bandage is to try to get everything else wet, but not soak the bandage. Otherwise, the glue will come apart and that means a visit to a doctor to get it changed. But if you kneel and just lean forward to wash your hair, that should be fine."

He tried to make his voice sound businesslike and smooth, but Ann was too in tune with him to miss the slight tremble. He was nervous, too. What he said made sense, though. She could kneel in the warm water, leave her broken arm completely outside of the tub, and since he helped her, that would work fine. The doc had told her to come back in a week to get rid of the tape bandage and see whether the healing process was going along well, so she didn't want to provoke an in-between visit to the hospital.

For a split-second she was tempted to ask him to turn while she was getting into the tub, but then she shook her head at herself. They had shared so much already, it was hardly a big feat to get naked. Still, in the cold morning light, not dampened by the haze of passion, her body seemed less than perfect in many ways. She was acutely aware of every single black, purple or blueish-green bruise. Immediately, she shook her head at herself again. A few minutes before she had been nervous about him getting into the tub with her and about where that would lead, now she was nervous about him not finding her attractive enough to lead just there. There was no way she could win here.

Mark still sat on the edge of the tub, watching her with his trademark raised eyebrow. She blushed, her emotions were probably easily readable on her face.

With yet another deep breath, she opened her hand, releasing the grip on the towel which unceremoniously fell to the ground. She didn't move, just looked at him.

For a long moment, he held her gaze, before letting his eyes wander over her body, taking her in. His breath hitched when his eyes reached the dark triangle between her legs but he didn't linger there too long, instead wandering back up, over the tape bandage, taking in her breasts and finally ending back up at her face. His smile was deep and warm. Then he quietly laughed: "Wanna get into the water before it gets cold, hun? Not that I mind you standing here naked for the rest of the day if you want."

Hurriedly, she climbed into the tub before kneeling down a little more cautiously. He steadied her with a firm grip on the arm.

The warm water felt incredibly relaxing. She hadn't even known how much she had missed soaking in water. He took a sponge and started to wash her back. She closed her eyes while the warm water was running down her sides. She deeply inhaled the smell of the hot air. He had put a herbal bubble bath into the water and it smelled like winter and cozy nights and hot tea.

When he reached the parts above the bandage, he drained the sponge of most of the water first so that it didn't soak the tape. "You better do the front part yourself, darlin', I'll help you wash your hair afterwards".

Lazily she opened her eyes. The warm water had calmed her nerves enough to make her feel flirtatious again. "But it's so comfy not having to do anything", she protested in a cute voice, knowing full well that the coloring of his cheeks wasn't just due to the steam rising from the bath.

She couldn't quite judge the emotion flickering over his face, but he soaked the sponge in the water again and began to soap her front. She felt how her nipples reacted to the unfamiliar touch. His eyes were glued to her body now, they followed every movement of the sponge.

She had butterflies in her stomach again. She wasn't used to anyone giving his full attention to her body. The fact that he was so fascinated that he was oblivious to her watching him was stunning and exhilarating at the same time. That such a gorgeous man could be fascinated by her!

He stopped short of the water line, instead laying the sponge aside and tracing her breasts with his wet fingers. He played, tickling her nipples until they became erect, then softening them again by slowly rubbing his palm over her whole breast.

Involuntarily her heart rate had increased, her breathing getting faster. She felt the arousal building in her, radiating out from where he touched her. Finally she couldn't take it anymore and caught his hand.

When he looked at her questioningly, she swallowed, trying to get her heart rate back to normal before answering. "Behaving not working anyway, remember?"

He chuckled softly. "I remember."

Instead of answering anything, she just let go of his hand and leaned forward to splash water over her hair. He took the hint and got the shampoo to help wash it. After soaping it well, he drained the water from the tub and used the shower head to rinse her hair and get the soap off the rest of her.

Finally clean again, she climbed out of the tub. He held out the towel for her, so that she just had to step into it. He wrapped it around her, and simultaneously drew her into a bear-hug. Instead of taking the towel from him, she just twined her arm around his neck.

When he bent down to kiss her, the towel fell to the ground, neither of them bothering to hold it in place. She leaned into him, standing on her toes, stretching up towards him. She had grabbed the waistband of his boxers to keep herself from losing balance. The kiss never started out slow, and it was only seconds till his tongue demanded entrance. She gave it willingly, moaning involuntarily. As her bare skin pressed against his, the air itself seemed to liquefy around them, the heat of their bodies turning it into steam. He deepened the kiss, forcing her to bend backwards, which made her lose her balance.

He caught her before she could fall. She winced as she steadied herself.

"You ok?"

She nodded, her breath hadn't returned yet.

Without further ado, he scooped her up, careful, yet determined, and carried her over to the bed.

He laid her down and before he could ever think of retreating even a single inch, she had wrapped her fingers into his hair and drew him down onto her. His lips found hers again and they proceeded where they had stopped when she lost her balance. The kiss got deeper, more rhythmical, the motion radiating outward, infecting their whole bodies till they moved up and down, up and down with the kiss. With every stroke she felt the fabric of the boxers brush her thighs, tickle the short hair between her legs. She spread her legs, pushing her heels into the mattress to be able to arch her back towards him without hurting her ribs. He groaned as the pressure of her triangle against his crotch increased. He made it through all of two rolling thrusts before leaning back and in one swift motion ridding himself of his last piece of clothes. Immediately he closed his mouth over hers again, taking up the kiss that was broken only for a few heartbeats. Goosebumps were spreading on her skin and her breath hitched when his now naked body came in full contact with her. With every motion, every arching of her back, every rotation of her hips, the fire in her nether region intensified. With every stroke, every lick of his tongue, every new touch, she felt how his erection grew.

"I want you", she moaned. His penis was sliding along her opening, slick from the wetness that hadn't anything to do with the bath she'd just taken.

He didn't answer, his breathing irregular now, but he broke the kiss, his concentration focused otherwise. She wrapped her leg around his hips, not too tight, but enough to tilt her hips to grant him easier access.

Using one hand to guide his way, he positioned the head of his penis at her entrance. That sent shivers down her spine. Her heart was pounding harder than she thought it had ever had before. Slowly, ever so slowly, he pressed forward. A little involuntary scream forced its way out of her mouth, she felt her opening widen, adjusting to let him in. Forward and back, still careful, he moved in and out of her, spreading her wetness over his penis till the initial resistance was gone and he could easily slide in and out. He leaned forward again, changing from a half kneeling position to covering her body again, his penis now firmly inside her. She felt shivers running through him, too, as he thrust deeper with every new stroke, until she had taken all of him in. Ann had closed her eyes, feeling him inside her, stretching her out, filling her up, moving with a steadily increasing rhythm. She twitched and moaned, her body was not completely within her control anymore. She concentrated on keeping her legs fastened around him, holding tight now, following his movements. He held back, she could feel it, he tried to control himself, to be gentle and careful. That wouldn't do.

"I want you", she repeated, panting. She searched his eyes. He looked at her, eyes dark, filled with the intensity of his passion. She held his gaze for a moment, matching his fire with her own. Then she wrapped her arm around his neck, grabbed his hair, pulled him down and brought her mouth down on his hard, her tongue finding entrance instantly, roaming his mouth before she settled on sucking on his lip. He was caught off guard by her attack and she heard his breath hitch. The next moment he turned the tables around. Pressing her into the pillow, he let his tongue ravish her, matching his movements with the strokes of his pelvis.

She could feel the tension mount in him as his strokes became faster, shallower. "Yes, baby, yes", she just rode the wave of his passion now, his thrusts too fast to match them with movements of her own. Every word of her, whispered with a hot breath into his mouth seemed to elicit a shiver now. She urged him on, "oh yes, I want you, I want you, baby", till he finally came with a low-pitched cry.

Panting heavily he lay on top of her. He had withdrawn at the very last second, keeping his wits together better than her, who hadn't wasted a thought on the fact that they hadn't used any protection. She felt the sticky hot fluid running down her thighs and legs. He had rested his forehead in the hollow of her neck. His heartbeat was still rapid. His muscles were shaking from the strain of holding his weight up, and finally he pushed himself up, rolling to the side and collapsing beside her.

She reached over to him, taking his hand. They rested in the afterglow of the sex, still flushed and excited, but at the same time calm and content. He drew her closer, offering his arm as a pillow. She nestled into his side, enjoying his warmth as peace settled in.


	68. Chapter 68

I know two chapters aren't much of an update after all that time. But to be honest, I needed to get "Mark McCool" out of my mental picture before I could start writing this story again. LOL. Anyway, same disclaimers as usual, hope you enjoy!

Chapter 68: Afterglow

She didn't notice that she had dosed off until she woke up. Mark held her close, his long arms easily reaching around her. She moved to intertwine her legs with his. "Ouch." Small needles of pain were piercing her chest.

Mark instantly let go of her.

"No, stay", she protested but to no avail.

"Damn, your ribs. We were supposed to be careful. Is it bad?"

She shook her head no.

He smiled at her, rosy colour in his cheeks showing that he, too, still enjoyed the afterglow of what they had just shared. "Liar."

Intertwining her fingers with his, she settled back into the pillows: "Never said I wanted to become an actor, either."

"And you shouldn't", he laughed.

Following the curves of her body, he traced her skin downward, starting at the collarbone, softly running along the white mounds of her boobs, before finally curving around her naval to gently play with the dark hair in the triangle between her legs.

She chuckled: "You could already go again, huh?"

A smile tugged along the edge of his lips, but his eyes remained serious when he answered: "But ye can't, darlin'."

She pouted but she felt too content to keep the act up for long. "I know", she sighed, "stupid ribs".

"Shall I get your pain meds for you?"

"Nah," she shook her head. "Just stay here, that makes the pain go away on its own."

"Whatever you need, darlin'."

He settled back into the pillows, too, hair flowing freely around him

She could still feel the lingering presence of him inside her. It made her smile.

"What'cha thinking?"

"That I love you."

"I love ya, too, darlin'."


	69. Chapter 69

Chapter 69: New perspectives

Two hours later they finally made their way over to Glen and Keira. Glen and Mark more or less instantly disappeared towards the gym, leaving Ann and Keira in the living room.

"So how are you?" Ann asked Keira.

Ann could see how Keira's eyes immediately filled with tears. But she didn't allow them to fall down her cheeks. "I'm ok. It's such a pity you never met her. I mean, obviously you wouldn't have, even if she was alive, but I think she'd have liked you. And you'd have liked her. She was good fun. And a good friend."

Ann pondered this for a moment before answering: "As far as I understand it she would have scratched my eyes out for even looking at Mark. And I don't think I could have kept myself from looking."

Keira gave her a questioning glance. Then her face softened up, but only a little: "I'm guessing he would have looked back at you, too. Even while she was alive."

"Never", Ann shook her head.

"Not saying he would have fucked you. Just saying he would have noticed you."

Ann was careful with her next question: "Does that make you angry?"

For once it was Keira's turn to blush: "You're not the shy type about stuff like this, huh? You get right to the point."

"I won't hold it against you, if it does. I would be mad probably."

Keira took a moment to answer. Then she shook her head: "I guess I would have been a few days ago. But really, if he ain't betraying her by loving you, I ain't betraying her by liking you. Simple as that."

"You like me, huh?" Ann tried to mask her surprise at the words of affection by using a teasing tone at the last second.

"Believe it or not. Somewhere between the hospital and Mark's revelation and all the tears, you grew on me", Keira laughed, and while it was a small sound, choked by the emotion of the other day, it was honest.

"Sorry, I didn't…"

"It's fine. I'm not the shy type either."

When Keira left to organise some food from a caterer, Ann was glad to get a moment for herself. For half a year, she had spent all her time alone. Even when she had company, with the other Angels, she made sure to keep her distance. Now suddenly there was always someone around. And not just around, there were dramas happening, and she found she couldn't distance herself from them like she used to.

She went over to the big window. The garden behind it was nice to look at, but it didn't have the homey feel her little backyard had. This one was the creation of a gardener.

"Hey."

She jerked at the sound of Glen's voice.

"Enjoying the view?"

"It's a pretty garden."

"Guess it is", he shrugged.

"You really have to leave for Europe?"

"You could get used to us rich people with the gardens and the views, huh?" he chuckled.

"Don't fancy yourself too important", she retorted, before adding, "but yeah, I guess I could get used to having the two of you around."

"Hey, I got an idea! Why don't you tell Mark to come to Europe? He'll take you and if you go, Keira will come, cause then she got someone to go shopping with and do all those girly things you girls like doing. And then everyone would be together!"

His voice sounded so hopeful that she suddenly realized that he actually meant what he was saying.

"But that's impossible, Mark's got his shop and I got a job and stuff. We can't just go to Europe like this!"

"Oh, why not? You can't work anyway, what with that arm and everything, and Mark's shop is his own to open and close when he wants. It's not like he needs the money or anything. Come on, if anyone can convince him, it's you."

"I'm not coming back." Unnoticed, Mark had come up behind them. "Really, Glen, just stop trying."

"Oh man. You wouldn't have to come back. Just, you know, be on tour for a bit again. Be together with the crew. See, whether the old life still holds some fond memories."

"It does. But it ain't my future. And it hasn't been in a long time."

"What a terrible shame." Glen sighed. "You wouldn't even come to Europe with us as a tourist?"

"You want me to be – a groupie?" Mark raised one eyebrow.

"No, but…" Glen broke into laughter, "but it would be quite funny. I can totally see it, you in the front row, skin-tight outfit, big poster, ring-rat style."

Mark shook his head. "Jeez, man…" Then he turned to Ann: "Have you ever been to Europe?"

"No."

"Would you like to see it?"

"What?"

"Not for the whole tour", and with a glare towards Glen, "Not ring-rat style, either. But I guess Keira would come visit with us and I know that would make the big stupid bald guy happy. And Europe's quite pretty. I'd like to actually see some of the cities I've never really had the time to visit."

"Are you serious?"

"Well, there's one thing Glen's right about. Money is not an issue. My shop is not an issue. And…"

"… and my job is…"

"… pretty much gone anyway?" He smiled sympathetically.

Ann nodded.

"Thought so."

Ann shrugged. "Didn't have the best career options anyway, I'll find something else."

"I know. In the meantime, if you want to, I could need some help with the books. I like the bikes, but I'm not the type for numbers myself. But I'm guessing, you being a physicist and all, you're pretty good with calculations."

"Yeah, I guess, I'm… good with calculations…"

"Ah, an elegant trick! Be careful, the gentleman is trying to lure you into his trap! He just wants to have his way with you!" Glen volunteered in a mock-serious voice.

It got him a stern look from Mark: "You should know better, Glen!" The smile returned to his voice: "I can have my way with the lady anytime I want, I don't need to offer her a job for it. Though seeing you during the day is an added bonus."

"Mark, I don't know."

"Think about it. I wanted help with bookkeeping for a while now. I just never really trusted anyone with the job. I don't want anything posted online about the finances of my shop or about the colour of the shirt I wear for that matter."

"Oh come on, Taker, you're not that famous anymore!"

"Glen, you're not helpful!"

"Sorry."

"Sorry my ass."

"I'd like to."

"Say again?" Both guys were looking at her now.

"I'd like to have a try at the job. I have some idea about book-keeping, I've done it before. So yes, I'd like to."

A satisfied smile spread across Mark's face. "Well, that's settled then. And I think that settles the trip to Europe, too."


End file.
